queenie01 Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 He emailed me today....its been over a month since our last email conversation. He just asked how i was doing and how my family was... Do i respond, what do i say?
Merin Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 Don't read to much into things and if you wish to respond, then keep it short, simple and un-emotional.
whichwayisup Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 I agree with Merin. Short, sweet and to the point. You owe him NO explanation of anything and don't put ANY energy into him and ask him anything. Thank him for his concern, say all is well and take care. That says alot.
Author queenie01 Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 Yeah I was planning on waiting til the end of the day and just write... All is well... thanks for asking. Hope all is well with you!
francis Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 yeah, take your time on this one, no impulse reactions, no reading into things, if you really really want to reply, wait, dont reply straight away and keep it neutral and calm...all you gotta be is polite...you are in no rush. be strong Queenie
Author queenie01 Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 Its all about the no contact....i have been avoiding him so now hes probably wondering what i have been up to etc... Funny how things work..
francis Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 yeah...i admire your strength Queenie! you're doing a great job! you're in the driving seat, take it easy now... just keep saying to yourself what you wrote here last week...you've got through 3 months of recovering over this guy...your life is not about him anymore! power to you!
Author queenie01 Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 Hey i for once feel pretty good about myself. Getting an email from him whether it was something stupid or not at least lets me know that i am on his mind.... I really thought he hated me etc.... I also know from this that he probably hasnt fully moved on because if that were the case with him, i wouldnt have gotten squat! I am going to reply right before i leave for the day and im just going to write Everyone is great, thanks... hope all is well with you and your family as well....
francis Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 yeah, i wouldnt say anything to strike up a conversation like ask him direct questions...and leave it at that...and TRY to put it out of your mind, dont hang on for a reply and get on with your life... please dont fall into the trap of waiting on his reply...it will take you back a zillion stages back to square one, holding on to hope again...no no no no, cause he's not writing to ask you to meet up and talk, he's emailing some light queries about your life.
Author queenie01 Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 Trust me im not expecting a reply because im not going to give him anything to reply to... i will ask no questions, just be cordial and respond but be very brief. In fact im not even going to respond until tommorrow,
francis Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 good idea, take some time to think about it...no rush...take a pause to reflect
Author queenie01 Posted August 10, 2005 Author Posted August 10, 2005 Ok so I finally replied to his email a day later and just wrote "everyone is great...thanks for asking! Hope all is well with you and your family... Didnt ask any questions or offer up any info regarding my life. He proceeds to respond saying he finally signed his lease on an apt in the city etc.. I wrote back, awesome congrats on the place.. then he writes back, So how have you been? Dating anyone? What do i say???
Mz. Pixie Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 I'd say, I've been dating yes, but not one certain person. DO NOT ask him if he's been dating!
westernxer Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 What do i say??? Say something like, "Why do you ask?" Don't volunteer anything... make him spit it out.
Author queenie01 Posted August 10, 2005 Author Posted August 10, 2005 I was thinking of either saying something along the lines of that... or just ignore the question all together or ask him why he cares to know? I would NEVER ask him that!!
francis Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 don't ask him why...you don't CARE why he wants to know... ;-) maybe just reply with the truth in a nonchalant way...i dont think u have, so just reply, 'not at the moment'... and leave it at that. full stop. or yes, ignore the question. you're doing good Queenie -o!!!
francis Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 ok, best wait...dont rush to answer it...he'll be waiting for the answer... hmm hmm hmm. this email lark really drives me insane...it's like the cowards way of getting info...just like sms. sorry, i know that doesnt help much... don't get into this through email...maybe best ignore the question, email him back say you've been really busy lately with all the cool things happening in your life...don't rush about replying though. remember remember remember who he is, what he did to you, how he left you.
Author queenie01 Posted August 10, 2005 Author Posted August 10, 2005 I know and i do remember all that he did to me, well i cant lie he was probably the best boyfriend ive ever had but he also hurt me the worst by breaking up with me out of the blue with no reasons behind it. This email was from about 10:30 am and i will respond later this afternoon, i think i am just going to write, Ive been good but busy... Not dating anyone serious at the time... Very simple and to the point, what do you guys think?
francis Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 damn him for asking that question...he's got a nerve i think to put you in this situation...i think it's cheeky and frankly, none of his business... don't let this take you back down the old road of hope Queenie. what about 'i've been good but busy' and leave it at that... keep him wondering Queenie, then you'll find out what his intentions are. Whatever his intentions, make him work for this info. You are not obligated to him. Are you ready to be his friend and swop new lover stories? because if not, maybe best not to get involved with trading stories...you could end up getting very very hurt.
Author queenie01 Posted August 10, 2005 Author Posted August 10, 2005 yeah it was a little rude on his part to ask me that but hey this is the most courage hes ever had with me...mind you hes hiding behind email. I am going to have to give it more thought as to if i should ignore it or say something...
westernxer Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 You could always hit delete, but you're not gonna do that. This is way too exciting.
Author queenie01 Posted August 10, 2005 Author Posted August 10, 2005 No im not going to hit delete because i still care way to much..but at the same time i really dont think he has intentions of getting back together i think this is for his own peace of mind..
francis Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 queenie? how are u doing? did he reply? are you on n/c now? here's hoping you're ok
Author queenie01 Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 Yeah we emailed back and forth a bit but i did gain anything from it! He asked me how ive been and if im dating anybody and i ignored that question, just tolf him im doing good...just been busy, I asked him whats going on exciting in his life and he said, not much really, jsut getting ready for his move. I was sort of shocked that he doesnt have a ton going on in his life, he told me he just has been golfing a TON and going to the gym a TON...and going to michigan soon, which i was suppose to be going with him : ( It didnt really sound to me like hes dating anyone and i also think that if he was he wouldnt have emailed me in the first place. anyways after a couple emails back and forth, i finally told him "i wish you luck and hope you acheieve all your fitness goals.... and no more emails from him. I guess i just dont get him at all... I am doing ok but still sort of sad. I have thought long and hard about things and have decided to go no contact again and stay out of his site. Next tuesday tho I thin I am going to send him a text message. I havent ever done that in the whole 4 months we;ve been apart. But i want to send him a message on tuesday nite just saying " hope you have a great time in michigan with your family...drive safe & have fun" Thats my final message, never again will i initiate any communication.
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