Is he Real or Not Real

[Alyana]

I recently met a guy and we start dating online. When I first talk to him at online dating site he said, he is in Toronto for business trip but he is from Florida. I tried to asked him to meet me personally so that it would be easy for us to continue our communication but he said he can’t because he is in the business trip and it would be sounds crazy to tell his boss he will meet someone he met online which I understand. We continue our communication through chatting, We start to get to know each other, we exchanged pictures.I asked him if we could do video calling while we are chatting because that’s the only way we could see each other but he said he doesnt want and prefer writting. I ask him if we could talk in the phone and said yes but I only hear his voice once. I tried to understand him because he said he hates internet things,(he said he is 47y/o).I have a doubt that he might not be real so i asked him to send me pic while we are chatting and he is in the gym and he sent me one. He keep asking me some situational scenario and respond honestly and he said he thinks he starts falling inlove with me. His birthday is coming and i just asked him what he likes in his birthday he said he likes wristwatch online $250 and he wants me to give it as a gift. I refused and I said I cannot afford it, I told him he can buy for himself for now, he said he can buy it but he wants me to buy it for him as a proof that i love him.Then he said he is unhappy and I am just proving I am selfish.I told him I am not but I just want us to meet personally, I even told him I'm starting saving money to buy ticket to visit him in October because I dont want to ask anything from him. Now he doesnt want to talk to me and message me I am not the one he is looking for. Now I am asking “He is Real or Not Real”.One side of me said he could be a scammer but in other side of me He could be real and just testing me.I am so confused, I like things to work it out between us, but I dont know what to think right now.Pls.give me some insight.Thank you.

[planb1973]

You have not met him and he already tells you he is falling in love with you... AND wants you to buy him a watch for his birthday!

 

AND YOU HAVE NEVER MET HIM!

 

Put the picture of a 60 year old 400Lb man sitting in his underwear at his computer drinking a very large soda while masturbating. That is who you are conversing with...

[leogirl876]

No he's not real. Block him and only converse with men who tries to get to know you for real, someone who meets you in person, talks on the phone, and who doesn't ask for gifts. This person is a scam!

[rightondude]

oh yes, he is real. As real as the Nigerian prince who wants to cut me in on a sweet deal.

 

My question is, are you for real?

[Miss Spider]

He doesn't happen to be Nigerian royalty does he?

 

Seriously, do not give this guy a red cent. And find a rship with a nice man nearby. This stuff just amazes me.

[Alyana]

He sent me some of his pics and he seems he is legitimate, in his picture he sent me; he is a white guy .

[d0nnivain]

He is a real scam artist.

 

The pictures are fake. Do not send him the watch. Stop talking to him & work on not being so gullible.

[act00]

Scam.

 

Unavailable men who "travel" a lot for work are scams. Anyone who asks for anything money-related is a scam. Anyone who professes love and hastens the relationship (without meeting) is a scam (really? Love?). If you can't get them on the phone or skype it's a scam. You can't see them or hear their accent if it's just writing and texting.

[CptInsano]

There are certainly men who travel a lot for work, some of them are available and others are not.

 

But, what would you want from somebody who is not local to begin with? The fact that he doesn't want to video chat would be another red flag, and so is proclaiming love before meeting somebody.

 

But the true kicker is the watch. I mean, seriously? That is bad form, even for a scam artist.

[No_Go]

Scammer - 100% sure. Pulling all the signs - 'falling in love' (without meeting you), saying he's far away AND asking for money/gifts.

 

Block and find someone real.

[Carpe Diem]

Please listen to the advice given by the above posters. The guy is real but he is not interested in a relationship. His investment in time is an effort to take your money.

 

Really really think about the following:

1) You've never met him in person OR Skyped; just the good ole " here's my picture" routine.

2) Any effort you'd made to meet up in person have been rebuffed with perfect "I'm out of town" type excuses.

3) Without ever having met you, he's moved into "I love you" territory."

4) Here's the CRITICAL component that is the dead give-away, he's asked you for money (expensive gifts are the same thing). "It's my birthday, can you buy my this $250 watch, serial number 347862 on websit xzy" is laughable

5) When you refused to buy the watch, he cuts back communication. (Hint: this is designed to get you to panic that your romantic "love" might be slipping away)

6) He ratchets up the emotional manipulation, by telling you that if you loved him, you'd send him you money (gift).

 

EVERY single one of these points are red flags.

 

You're actually fortunate in that you don't have much money. Women, especially middle aged or older ones who have money are often taken for tens of thousands of dollars, if not more. There's always lots of "I love you's" with increasing complex and involved requests for money.

 

I can tell by your responses to other posters that you're not in the head space yet to accept this reality. It's difficult to move on, because your hopes were so high that this man loves you. I hope you can make the transition to understanding what EVERY SINGLE poster on this forum has told you.

 

Good luck

[Alyana]

Thank you for all your response and insight about the situation.Although I could feel some red flags (e.g doesn't want video calling)from the beginning I choose to continue and see what happen..Going back with our communication i could say it's a normal one on one conversation of getting to know each other, I had already encountered those Nigerian love scam of asking money but I never became a victim , I mean I never send a money. With this guy, I just get aĺerted when he asked me to buy him a specific gift for his birthday why he is so comfortable to ask me thinking we havent met personally.I even told him i can give it on Christmas but I want us to see each first and then he flip and says" why this is all about money" & told me this is just proving I am selfish, so i said just drop off the conversation about money matters and lets just start the gift giving after we meet personally but then he says " sorry you are not the woman I am looking for".Now, I can still see him online in my hang out messenger but I never message or contact him.

I know I might be sounds stubborn not to see the reality but I do appreciate your opinion in this situation I encountered.

[d0nnivain]

Do yourself a huge favor & make it so you can no longer even see him on your messenger account.

[SevenCity]

I could never understand how someone would fall for this type of scam. But there you go.

[smackie9]

Fake fake fake. Never trust anyone you haven't met yet. And don't waste time on out of towners....most of the time they are married.

 

Always keep that wallet zipped closed.

[smackie9]

He sent me some of his pics and he seems he is legitimate, in his picture he sent me; he is a white guy .

Try skype/video chat...it's a great tool to use to flush out the fakers.

[Alyana]

Try skype/video chat...it's a great tool to use to flush out the fakers.

 

I asked that from the very start but he said he doesn't want and prefer writing. He doesn't want to talk/chat with me anymore after telling him I cannot give the gift he is asking.

[SevenCity]

I asked that from the very start but he said he doesn't want and prefer writing. He doesn't want to talk/chat with me anymore after telling him I cannot give the gift he is asking.

 

Let's assume this is not a scam. That just makes him a gold digging d-bag.

 

Is this all you can get as far as men? Surely you deserve someone better than this.

[OatsAndHall]

He's not just a scam artist, he's a bad one at that. I STRONGLY suggest that you cut contact with hm completely. Block all forms of communication with him and move on.