Is he trying to get me to break up with him?

[Bluecorn]

Boyfriend of a year is having doubts and is unsure about us. Says he doesn't want to breakup and wants to wait and see if this is just a phase. He sometimes questions are compatibility.This is the first time he's ever said anything like this usually he's sure. He just mentioned how his dad called me his future daughter in law and he took me apartment shopping last week. He is my first everything. My friends are telling me this means he wants to breakup. He's broken up with all of his previous girlfriends. He said he had doubts with one girl broke up with her and regretted it so this time he wants to wait and see. I asked him if he was trying to force me to breakup with him and he said no he's truly unsure of how he feels. I told him that if he really wants to breakup just let me know because it's not fair to me to have me hanging around until he's emotionally ready to end it and he said he understands. He did ask me what I think a break up is and I said no contact and he was like you wouldn't come over everyday or at least every other day and I was like no. I'm planning on giving us a little space. Not sure what else to do. Advice?

 

I went back home for the first time since last Nov and he text me and said he had to fend for himself sleeping without me and sent me a meme. Did he not miss me at all

Edited August 3, 2017 by Bluecorn

[ExpatInItaly]

Boyfriend of a year is having doubts and is unsure about us. Says he doesn't want to breakup and wants to wait and see if this is just a phase. He sometimes questions are compatibility.This is the first time he's ever said anything like this usually he's sure. He just mentioned how his dad called me his future daughter in law and he took me apartment shopping last week. He is my first everything. My friends are telling me this means he wants to breakup. He's broken up with all of his previous girlfriends. He said he had doubts with one girl broke up with her and regretted it so this time he wants to wait and see. I asked him if he was trying to force me to breakup with him and he said no he's truly unsure of how he feels. I told him that if he really wants to breakup just let me know because it's not fair to me to have me hanging around until he's emotionally ready to end it and he said he understands. He did ask me what I think a break up is and I said no contact and he was like you wouldn't come over everyday or at least every other day and I was like no. I'm planning on giving us a little space. Not sure what else to do. Advice?

 

I went back home for the first time since last Nov and he text me and said he had to fend for himself sleeping without me and sent me a meme. Did he not miss me at all

 

What do you mean, fend for himself sleeping? Sleeping alone? I think if you haven't been home since November and you've only been dating a year, you're spending a lot of time together. Is that accurate?

 

If he's having doubts about everything, then his focus in this downtime is going to be on reflecting whether or not to continue. The space might be exactly what he needs to do so, so I wouldn't stress about him missing you or not at this point.

 

What about your compatibility is he doubting?

[SevenCity]

This guy sounds like a real jerk. He needs space? Give it to him.

 

Unless you are doing something to annoy him, people should be sure of their feelings for you. You would be amazed how preemptively dumping someone can shift the power and make them realize what they had.

 

On the other hand it could backfire and he will be happy. Still, I wouldn't want to live with doubt over my head.

[Maldives]

Boyfriend of a year is having doubts and is unsure about us. Says he doesn't want to breakup and wants to wait and see if this is just a phase. He sometimes questions are compatibility.This is the first time he's ever said anything like this usually he's sure. He just mentioned how his dad called me his future daughter in law and he took me apartment shopping last week. He is my first everything. My friends are telling me this means he wants to breakup. He's broken up with all of his previous girlfriends. He said he had doubts with one girl broke up with her and regretted it so this time he wants to wait and see. I asked him if he was trying to force me to breakup with him and he said no he's truly unsure of how he feels. I told him that if he really wants to breakup just let me know because it's not fair to me to have me hanging around until he's emotionally ready to end it and he said he understands. He did ask me what I think a break up is and I said no contact and he was like you wouldn't come over everyday or at least every other day and I was like no. I'm planning on giving us a little space. Not sure what else to do. Advice?

 

I went back home for the first time since last Nov and he text me and said he had to fend for himself sleeping without me and sent me a meme. Did he not miss me at all

 

I did what he was doing wth my ex for yrs and I wasn't planning on leaving but often thought about it because she had kids and I had trouble seeing th3 kind of future I wanted for myself wth her but I stayed because I loved her until eventually she had enough and ended it. I think in this case he better be aware of what this is doing to ur own feelings in losing them for him over time

[preraph]

Is it possible his parent or parents are trying to push him into getting married too early? I mean, that can be scary. He may think his parents disapprove just dating and not moving ahead with commitment and so he feels to keep them at bay, he has to either break off or settle down.

 

Why not tell him you're in no hurry to move in or anything and see if he loosens up a little.