Just feel like I should share what happened

[Kaida]

So It started 2 years ago when I had my first girlfriend, when we got together everything was so great we would talk all night and anytime it stormed I would always be there to call her and comfort her because she was afraid of the lightning. Everything was terrific for a few months then she just got cold and talked less and started ignoring me.

 

We got in an argument that led to her breaking up with me, she tried to take it back but I was so hurt she wouldn't just work through our problems and that she ended it like she did that I cut her off. I ended up regretting it for so long, I missed her and wanted to be with her but she seemed to hate me from then on so I switched to another high school my senior year and tried to forget her. We hadn't really talked in the 2 years since we broke up but I was never really over her, I didn't get into relationships and I always missed her.

 

About a month ago she sent me a long apology about everything and I told her how I felt and that I regreted the mistakes I had made. We agreed to try and work things out and be together and I was in such in a rush after missing her for almost 2 years I didn't think twice, I found out she had a boyfriend though. They had been dating a while and when I confronted her she admitted she wasn't happy in the relationship and it was a long distance relationship but for almost 2 years. I knew it was wrong but I hung around and eventually they split and we got together, I was so happy to be with her, I would do everything for her and I put so much effort in making sure everything worked.

 

I kept notes on everything she liked and her interests, I would plan dates with her, I watched videos on how to kiss cause she was going to be my first kiss, I get her gifts and flowers for her graduation,zoo I met some of her family, and I was always there to call her every night. Everything was perfect and then it just suddenly deteriorated again she just talked less, we went a week then 2 weeks without calling, she stood me up on a date and she didn't want to communicate with me about anything.

 

I tried to work things out cause we were supposed to move in together out of necessity when I finished basics and I wanted to know that she could be in a serious relationship but in the back of my mind it started to seem like she was cheating. The signs where there and during an argument where we questioned if we could live together she mentioned a ex she was close with that she move in with if not me, I had never known of him even despite the fact she said she had stopped talking to exes. In the end I thought we had worked it out and we settled the argument, we planned for us to meet after I finished at the DMV but when the time rolled around she wasn't answering.

 

She had stood me up again and I was so tired of it I decided I go to the house and either set it straight or leave. When I got there she wasn't home, she avoid my questions and denied it but I knew cause her gate door was open and it locked from the inside so she have to leave it open if she was out of the house. She told me to go but i waited a while till I realized she wasn't going to talk I tried to work it out after but she just kept lying in her stories and she tried blame me so I left.

 

I tried so hard to make her happy and be good to her but now I look online and she isn't the same person now, she has some private lewd social media page and she doesn't even acknowledge I exist but then again she never mentioned me when we where together.

 

It just hurts that I was willing to sacrifice so much and she just doesn't care she moved on so quickly and it seems she's back to the last boyfriend and it feels like I was nothing in the end.

Edited August 4, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs, please use them

[Maldives]

Wow what a story dude.

 

Woman are just plain weird sometimes and crazy. Who can ever work them out i dont even think they know what they want. Thanks for sharing i guess its a good lesson in this for all of us once its broken its broken.

My ex wife did something similar many yrs ago now. we were together 10 yrs and she split and after a hadful of mths she reached out i took her back then she went hot and cold and wanted a divorce and sabotaged a new relationship i had just started with a really good girl. learnt my lesson.

Edited August 4, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[preraph]

Well I think you are a big man for taking responsibility for the relationship not working out the first time, but obviously she was part of the reason that didn't work out too. I think you thought if you could just fix your end of it everything would be fine and she let you think that when she knew better. I think it's possible she's just too young to want to settle down so I can't really fault her for having more than one interest at a young age. Really it's too soon to be trying to think about settling down. But where is she didn't do right is she should have been more honest with you a long time ago and for that I'm sorry.

 

But I'm not too worried about you because you're still young and I know you'll find someone who loves you and does better by you.

[d0nnivain]

Young love is a rocky road indeed. Teenaged girls are fickle.

 

 

In time the acute pain will heal but if she does come crawling back again, don't date her.

[Kaida]

I just feel Like im falling and trying to grasp on anything to keep going. I felt alive again with her like my life had meaning after years of depression. I loved her more than anything in the whole world and I would have likely forgiven her for cheating had she just admitted it and stayed but she pushed me away.

 

Now it takes everything to not crawl back but even if I did she ignores me now, I try to let go of the memories but they were the happiest I had been but in the end they were a lie, she didn't love she just needed a placeholder, she's with someone probably whoever she was seeing.

 

I be lying if I haven't toyed with death since then and I feel like I'm falling trying to grasp on to anything to find a reason to just keep waking up if she isn't going to be there. I sometimes just walk outside at 2am cause that's when she always call and I just walk till I was lost. Im trying smoking weed and talking and focusing on work but nothing helps. I can't go to counseling cause then It may raise questions for when I go to the Army and I feel stuck and even if I did it didn't help before.

Edited August 4, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs, please use them

[d0nnivain]

Do not kill yourself over the end of a relationship. Yes, breaking up sucks but it does get better.

 

If you are feeling like that call a suicide hotline, go to an emergency room or call a friend. Go for a walk. . . do something but please do not take your own life.