abandoned386 Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Girlfriend of 2 years, 2.5 months left me suddenly and unexpectedly 61 days ago and I'm slowly healing but I can't seem to stop having dreams that include her and that doesn't help.. When I wake up I feel a hint of set back and missing her.. Anybody else have this annoying problem?
preraph Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Your subconscious has to deal with stuff if you don't deal with it enough while you're awake. One exercise that may help is a little before you go to sleep, deliberately give yourself a few minutes to just think about the situation. Review it and ask yourself if there's anything you can do to resolve it. If yes, of course, do that. If no, just tell yourself it's a waste of time to worry about something you have no control over. By devoting some time to just rationally thinking about it, this may stop you from getting ambushed in your dreams. Good luck. 2
SevenCity Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 It still happens to me almost a year later. Eventually it will stop if history is any indicator. 1
JuneL Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Girlfriend of 2 years, 2.5 months left me suddenly and unexpectedly 61 days ago and I'm slowly healing but I can't seem to stop having dreams that include her and that doesn't help.. When I wake up I feel a hint of set back and missing her.. Anybody else have this annoying problem? Were those good dreams in which you were feeling happy or bad dreams in which you were feeling sad? When I was much younger, I remember dreaming about my crush and I was so happy that something I really wanted actually was happening, albeit in a dream But later, I also dreamed about him getting married to someone else 1
trustyourself Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Were those good dreams in which you were feeling happy or bad dreams in which you were feeling sad? Mine initially were intimate dreams, but they have changed now. I dream about her in the context that she is with me, as my partner, experiencing life together. It almost always wakes me up. And then she is on my mind. A week ago, I dreamt about her 6 times in one night! Slept about a total of 3 hours. The subconcious can be cruel. But I guess it is our brains way of processing things.. 2
Author abandoned386 Posted August 3, 2017 Author Posted August 3, 2017 Were those good dreams in which you were feeling happy or bad dreams in which you were feeling sad? When I was much younger, I remember dreaming about my crush and I was so happy that something I really wanted actually was happening, albeit in a dream But later, I also dreamed about him getting married to someone else All but one of them have been happy.. But the one I consider to be not is one in where I was crying (I guess because of the situation) and she of all people came and comforted me.. Which doesn't really help lol.. 1
Author abandoned386 Posted August 3, 2017 Author Posted August 3, 2017 Mine initially were intimate dreams, but they have changed now. I dream about her in the context that she is with me, as my partner, experiencing life together. It almost always wakes me up. And then she is on my mind. A week ago, I dreamt about her 6 times in one night! Slept about a total of 3 hours. The subconcious can be cruel. But I guess it is our brains way of processing things.. Mine are the same.. Never have been intimate.. But always just general Life together and happy.. I guess it's my brain's way of playing out how I wish it could have gone.. It is so cruel to experience repeatedly.. And I hate that 2-4 seconds when we wake up and question if it is really happening.. 3
Rogo Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Mine are the same.. Never have been intimate.. But always just general Life together and happy.. I guess it's my brain's way of playing out how I wish it could have gone.. It is so cruel to experience repeatedly.. And I hate that 2-4 seconds when we wake up and question if it is really happening.. Then feel miserable cause it wasn't really happening. Sucks really 1
Author abandoned386 Posted August 3, 2017 Author Posted August 3, 2017 It still happens to me almost a year later. Eventually it will stop if history is any indicator. Geez still goin a year later huh.. I'm sorry.. This whole healing thing sure does take its time huh.. I've always heard to give it at least half the time you were together to heal or something like that.. I guess if that's the case I still have like a year to go.. Blows my mind how someone you care about so much can just vanish..
Author abandoned386 Posted August 3, 2017 Author Posted August 3, 2017 Your subconscious has to deal with stuff if you don't deal with it enough while you're awake. One exercise that may help is a little before you go to sleep, deliberately give yourself a few minutes to just think about the situation. Review it and ask yourself if there's anything you can do to resolve it. If yes, of course, do that. If no, just tell yourself it's a waste of time to worry about something you have no control over. By devoting some time to just rationally thinking about it, this may stop you from getting ambushed in your dreams. Good luck. Thank you. I get what you're saying. I am going to try that for a while and see if it helps. I feel like that's kinda what I do during my entire awake time to be honest.. But kind of in the back in my mind.. I will have some pre-sleep quiet time to focus on how much of a waste it all is. I'll post an update in a week or two.
stockyoldfrump Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 This is the worst. Happens to me every single day. It's weird, have you ever noticed how some dreams are referential and some are experiential? Like, there are some dreams that I know are ABOUT her somehow, but it doesn't feel like she's there. It's just the sense of her. And then there are ones that are so real it's like your subconscious has created a perfect simulation to the point that you wake feeling like you've actually spent time with them. Luckily, most of my dreams have been referential. I recall many of them being intensely isolated, but with hints of her presence. Like, I'll be in a room and she'll text or I'll be pulling in front of her house and waiting for her to come out. Just the sense of still being with her. Last night I had an intensely vivid dream. We sat on my bed, side by side, and just talked. I have no recollection of what we said, but I woke up feeling like I had seen her. The next few hours were utterly horrible.
Author abandoned386 Posted August 3, 2017 Author Posted August 3, 2017 This is the worst. Happens to me every single day. It's weird, have you ever noticed how some dreams are referential and some are experiential? Like, there are some dreams that I know are ABOUT her somehow, but it doesn't feel like she's there. It's just the sense of her. And then there are ones that are so real it's like your subconscious has created a perfect simulation to the point that you wake feeling like you've actually spent time with them. Luckily, most of my dreams have been referential. I recall many of them being intensely isolated, but with hints of her presence. Like, I'll be in a room and she'll text or I'll be pulling in front of her house and waiting for her to come out. Just the sense of still being with her. Last night I had an intensely vivid dream. We sat on my bed, side by side, and just talked. I have no recollection of what we said, but I woke up feeling like I had seen her. The next few hours were utterly horrible. You seriously hit the nail on the head. I notice that too with mine.. Like some of them I can tell she was in it but I couldn't tell you what exactly it was about because I don't have a clue either.. And the others were vivid and I saw her face and all.. And I noticed my day was worse after dreaming about her, in terms of not being able to get her off my mind as easily and feeling down about her leaving and crap like that.. Man I hate it. I hope the same is happening to them. I hope they dream about us at least a few times a week!!
Rko28 Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Mine came back recently and seem more real than ever, always the same that we get back together and she admits t was a mistake on her part and that she loves me so much. Without a doubt it's the ridiculous, pointless hope I have inside of me. I saw someone mention above to think of her before bed, personally for me this is the worst thing, try playing a video game or watching a film whilst in bed
SevenCity Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Geez still goin a year later huh.. I'm sorry.. This whole healing thing sure does take its time huh.. I've always heard to give it at least half the time you were together to heal or something like that.. I guess if that's the case I still have like a year to go.. Blows my mind how someone you care about so much can just vanish.. Well if it makes you feel better I have another 1.5 years to go on that schedule! I heard half the time by my expericne has been double the time when you really loved them. I can't imagine I would be spending 14 years feeling this way. What I've found is the thoughts longer until you find someone better. Unfortunately that seems to take 2-3 years.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 I'm 44 and just had a dream about my high school boyfriend last night!
Greenhawk84 Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Anybody else have this annoying problem? Yes, it was more frequent in the beginning but still lingers today. I usually end up meeting her and feeling absolutely relieved by her presence. I start catching up with her and embracing her, it feels so real. I use to wake up and immediately have tears in my eyes followed by a whole day of holding back. It is better now, even though I had another dream encounter the other night. This time it did not feel 100% like her. I also did not spend the day holding back tears.
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