joemesina Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Hello all Last saturday I met this girl at a friends and family event on on the country house my family owns. My parents are friends of her parents and also other relatives are friends with her family too. I have seen this girl a couple of times before, although we have never talked, this was because I was in a relation for 7 years with my ex. Now that I am single I have become interested in this girl, my aunt who is a really good friend with her mom told me that she is kind of shy,doesn't go out much,I like that she has good family values, and she is fit, very pretty and cute. In this event I talked to her and asked her for her phone and she gave it to me. On monday I texted her and she responded, we talked a bit and I invited her to go on date. She said: Yeah ok, I think I can, but, I will confirm you tomorrow Any opinion on her reply?? I responded telling her, that it was ok, and I'll wait for her answer, and then I ended the conversation. Haven't heard from her since. I dont know what to do, should I contact her, or just wait for her to contact me. Maybe she is scared or feel kind of embarrassed. Please any advice on dealing with a shy girl will be really helpful, I really like this girl, and would love to date her.
ChatroomHero Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Shy or not, sounds like low interest. I mean either she can or can't. Either she has plans or she doesn't. She stays home a lot according to your aunt but has such a busy schedule she can't tell you a particular day that she is free? That doesn't add up. When she said maybe, I would have said ok, what day are you free for sure? Anything but a definite planned day she follows through on, is a polite rejection. Now, the easy clue: Haven't heard from her since. Don't assume she is this nervous, shy little diamond in the rough too afraid to say yes despite really, really wanting to. Assume what you know, she doesn't have enough respect for you to even follow up when she said she was going to. It would obviously comfort you to think she was just shy, but that kind of forgiving logic is self-serving to quantify her rejection as her not really rejecting you. I wouldn't put any time into her. It sounds like you will end up applying a lot of forgiving logic if you do. 4
bachdude Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 "Yeah, OK" definitely doesn't sound overly enthusiastic, that's for sure! I say do not reach out to her without her contacting you first. Many women will not say a direct "NO" and simply hope you get the hint. Think of it this way, if she were really interested in you, would she keep you on hold like this? I doubt it. She would be too afraid of giving you the wrong impression. Even if she didn't know her schedule yet, if she were interested, she would at least have gotten back with you to say she is still working on it. 1
preraph Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 She probably wants to check you out since your families know each other, but no, don't contact her. She said she'll confirm. Maybe she will one way or the other since there's family ties. But listen, she might be mad at her relative for fixing her up this way too and be having WWIII because they're pressuring her. You never know the story. She could be gay and they don't know or anything. She could not let them meet dates because they would disapprove. Don't get invested since you don't even know her. So what if she fizzles? 1
Author joemesina Posted August 9, 2017 Author Posted August 9, 2017 I have a few updates, I texted her and she accepted to go out with me. We had a great time,or so I thought, she is very shy, I had to keep asking questions, we had some things in common, I did my best to make her laugh. I am not texting her that much also, I texted her on sunday, and will text her today, to try to go on a second date. I have heard that dating shy girls, requires alot of patience, and they need to trust you so they can open up, and that will take sometime. Any advice for a second date would be great. thanks.
mikeylo Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 That's true. Shy girls are to be treated with baby gloves but once they trust you, it will get better and they will talk to you without worry. But initially it's you who has to do the entire work. So go ahead if you are in no hurry as this one will take her time. If she has agreed to second date then decide on a mutual place of comfort. A slightly scary movie could be nice one
CptInsano Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 I have heard that dating shy girls, requires alot of patience, and they need to trust you so they can open up, and that will take sometime. Or it will never happen, or the shyness is just a sign of disinterest. I second peraph's opinion, and wouldn't get invested too early.
WitlessFool Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 It sounds like either she's not super interested in you or she's more than just "shy". She sounds a bit like me and I'm introverted. Very introverted. However, if I'm out with someone it's not hard for me to make conversation with them. It sounds like you're doing all the work. Maybe try one more date and see if it improves but if you're doing all the heavy lifting how will you ever get to know her properly?
mortensorchid Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 The person is shy, okay. Be it a man or woman in question. Chances are he/she is not shy about doing other things in life, or they are shy about things in general. This is a passive person who misses out on opportunities and doesn't like themselves. And then takes it out on others chances are by avoiding social situations. There's more at work here, but in this case that you noted she doesn't sound like she's interested in seeing you to begin with.
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