Lexxi Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Hi all, just trying to get an idea of how things work, and what to expect in the dating game. I went out with a guy, work with my friend's husband, who actually was the one who asked about me (I visited her at her husband's place of employment a couple months back). We went out for a couple of drinks Last Tuesday. He was the one who asked about me and asked for my number. We are both divorced with 2 children. We met for about 3 hours, had great conversation and upon walking me to my car, he talked about getting together again for dancing and drinks and gave me a hug. I know he was due to work 4 days straight afterwards, then have his children (he is a full-time firefighter). I texted him when I got home to thank him for the drink and great company and he replied with a nice text back saying he enjoyed it and happen I had a great week. Since then, I have not heard from him. Since I've been out of the dating game for quite sometime, I am just trying to decipher if this means he is not interested. Should he have texted by now if he was? Should I have texted him by now? Any advice is greatly appreciated as it was been a while since I've gone out with a guy. Thanks!
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 His lack of response is not great. I wouldn't hold out too much hope but if he is working the next 4 days in a demanding firefighter job he may not have had much time to reach out. He could be playing it cool too. If you don't hear from him on day 5 give up. Do not reach out again. The ball is in his court. If he's got enough guts to run into burning buildings & ask his friend (your friend's husband) about you, he has enough guts to call you back if he wants a 2nd date. 1
Author Lexxi Posted August 2, 2017 Author Posted August 2, 2017 His lack of response is not great. I wouldn't hold out too much hope but if he is working the next 4 days in a demanding firefighter job he may not have had much time to reach out. He could be playing it cool too. If you don't hear from him on day 5 give up. Do not reach out again. The ball is in his court. If he's got enough guts to run into burning buildings & ask his friend (your friend's husband) about you, he has enough guts to call you back if he wants a 2nd date. Got it, thanks. It's been 8 days so I just wanted to get an idea if it may be the job or kids, or just simple lack of interest. Looks like he's not interested after all. Just not sure why a guy would even suggest at the very end of a date to get together for dancing or bowling. A little difficult for me to decipher nowadays, I'm a bit rusty...
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 It's kind of like the old "I'll call you." It's just worse now because there are so many more ways to get in touch & there are a number of ways that you will get info about the other person's activities so you have proof that they weren't too busy to call you & it was flat out rejection which hurts. Sorry. But after 8 days, you have to assume he's not interested. You got back in the saddle with him. It's time for ride # 2 with somebody else.
Author Lexxi Posted August 2, 2017 Author Posted August 2, 2017 I really appreciate the feedback, thank you so much. It was a nice, innocent meet up with someone, a few hours to talk and have a drink, and he walked me to my car and parted ways. So no regrets. Just need to know what the expectations are and if perhaps I made a mistake by not taking the lead and reaching out to ask if he still wanted to get together some other time.
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 . Just need to know what the expectations are and if perhaps I made a mistake by not taking the lead and reaching out to ask if he still wanted to get together some other time. Some men are shy & need women to lead. I'm making a generalization here but I doubt a firefighter has those issues. So no I don't think you made a mistake by sitting back & not leading. I think a good looking firefighter has women throwing themselves at him (at least the stereotype does) so if you made it too easy you'd be just one more notch on his belt. If your friend asks, you can tell her you are disappointed that he didn't call again. Perhaps that will filter back & he'll reach out but at this point, more than a week later when he's shown no initiative do you really want him to pop up again because you made it easy as opposed to because he was anxious to see you again?
harrybrown Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Keep trying with the next one. And in this day of "rules", if you are interested in some guy, you can ask the next guy out. I would not keep waiting for this guy. Sometimes you never know what happened. You just move on. He could have some drama with one of his kids, but with no texting ability, if the guy was worth his salt, he would find a way. Good luck next time with the next guy.
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