caputo77 Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 I’m a college age girl working a minimum wage job for the last month of summer to make some extra money before going back to school. Last week, I met this guy I hadn’t known before who I immediately thought was super attractive. Since then we’ve had overlapping shifts every single day and we’ve gotten the chance to chat for like 20-30 minutes a few times. He seems super cool and we have a really similar sense of humor. I’m normally really shy, but talking to him seems easy. So, naturally, I want to get to know him better, and I want to gauge whether or not he might be into me. The problem is . . . I can’t flirt to save my life. I’ve had so many guys in my life who I’ve been into and probably could’ve had romantic relationships with, but I could just never get myself out of that friend category because I never tried to flirt, and if they ever tried to flirt with me I would just shut down so they’d figure I just wasn’t interested and move on. All of my conversations so far with this guy have been very friendly. I’m not completely dumb, and I’m able to recognize that he’s given me no real indication of romantic interest in the interactions we’ve had so far, but based on all the body language and social cues I’ve received so far, I do at least feel pretty confident that he genuinely does enjoy my company and enjoys chatting with me. But I just feel myself beginning to follow my old patterns. I see him as a potential person to date, but I keep treating him like just another pal. I haven’t even been able to muster up the courage to try flirting to see how he responds. I have a pretty strong feeling he’d respond positively and I’d be happy with the results, but I still just shut down every time the door opens for me to try. I’ve got a few weeks before I go back to school for my senior year. Then I wouldn’t see him again until my next break. I’d kind of like to at least try going for him. I don’t know, I guess it may sound pointless but I figure worst case I get a little practice, and best case I could at least get his number and have somebody to hang out with and have a good time with when I’m home for breaks (and eventually move back home probably next year). What should I try? I’m honestly completely lost when it comes to flirting so any advice or ideas would be appreciated. I mostly just wanna try being a little flirty to see how he responds so I can tell if he just sees me as a work friend that’s fun to talk to, or if he also would be interested in something a little more.
smackie9 Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 If he goes out of his way to talk to you and be around you, he's interested. Go on youtube and watch some tutorials on flirting , and then practice in the mirror OR go talk to a more experienced woman in your life for tips.
bachdude Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 (edited) So you basically would like to develop your own flirting style...A worthy endeavor indeed! Smile Well, there are many ways to flirt. There is an outgoing type of flirtatiousness (the type most think of when discussing flirting) and a more reserved type. I think you probably would feel more comfortable with the reserved style of flirting. You really don't have to do much. I think the keys are your eyes, your hands and what you say. There is a way a woman will look at a guy when she is interested in him. Her eyes beam. She might look at him in a playful manner. Her eyes will smile a lot. Also, a woman who likes a guy will touch him more. She will touch his arm and his knee lightly and periodically when they are next to each other and when talking. Also, try this one: when talking next to each other, glance at his lips while he is talking. All it takes is a glance or two. Also, telling him certain things you admire about him is not a bad idea. Guys love this. If you think he is talented, just tell him, "You are so talented at..." and look at him with those beaming eyes. Anyway, these might suit your personality. Don't overdo, of course. But they are worth a try. Good luck! Edited August 2, 2017 by bachdude
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 When is the next time you are going out with your friends to a public group thing? Let this guy from work know & see if he shows up. Basically you need to ask something like "Hey what are you doing this weekend?" Then say "Me & my friends are doing X. It'd be cool if you dropped by." If he likes you he will show up or tell you why he can't. If he says nothing in response and doesn't show up, he's not interested.
girlinNYC Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Firstly, good on you for wanting to 'up your game'. There's nothing wrong with being shy, although it can make things hard in a relationship sense. What I have recently learnt is if you don't give a man enough cues, he won't respond or be able to read between the lines. Men are largely face value thinkers, if a sign is there (i.e. an obvious flirt) they'll take note, they aren't as intuitive as their female counterparts. Next time you converse, compliment his physical appearance. Tell him you like his shirt, his shoes, his hairstyle. Men love a good compliment of their physical appearance. Smile, laugh with him, tell him you enjoy his company. You don't need to do all these at once, but subtly drop one of the above lines, then wait 20 or so minutes and compliment something else. Ultimately, he will get nothing but positive vibes and respond accordingly. Keep the consistent, subtle flirting (i.e. showing of interest) up and you will soon gauge if he feels the same. Good luck!
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