startingover808 Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 I have been dating this guy for three months now and everything was WONDERFUL! We had the same interests, enjoyed being with each other, my daughter was getting to know him.....problem is that almost three months to the day, I went to pick him up to go out and when he opened the door there was just nothing. No feelings, no attraction, nothing. There are some things that I'm not crazy about--nothing very serious, just nitpicky things. Now, all I can focus on is what I don't like about him and when we're together it's just a show for him so he doesn't know my true feelings. Is it possible for love to have disappeared overnight? I think that we may have been spending way too much time together and this may be the cause. He wants to see me everyday and I want some more time alone with myself and my daughter. My work has been suffering because of it since I haven't been able to work at night. Anyone else had this problem? He is a really wonderful guy but I'm worried that the love won't come back and I REALLY don't know how to approach him about this.
Outcast Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 It's not that love 'disappears'. It's that you're not in love yet. You don't know somebody enough at three months to be 'in love'. People start out by being infatuated, and that can disappear. Now you've found things you dislike, the shine has gone off. It will only get worse. Time to say goodbye.
Author startingover808 Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 Since meeting him, I wasn't sure if I was in the "puppy love" stage or if I had moved onto the love stage. I guess the puppy love (infatuation) wore off. What's the best way to approach him about this? I want to tread lightly since he has been burned in the past and he's absolutely madly in love with me (from what he says). He talks about long-term plans, I'm the love of his life, even a few hints at marriage down the road.
LonelySoul Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 After 3 months it's possible to love someone but you're not in love with the whole person, just half. You really don't get to know a person well after about 6 months maybe more. Some people hide their ways for a long time and play you with their little finger. Just tell him you're a very independent woman and you need, not want, need your space. Tell him you enjoy spending time but the relationship needs to take it's course gradually not rush into anything. You have a little to look after and she's your first priority. If he loves you like he says he does and respects you, he'll think nothing of it and do as you wish. I think the problem is that you don't want a bugger and you got one, now it's hard to say 'hey back off' when it's been sometime of seeing each other everyday. Don't hold back anything or any feelings just because he's been hurt before, who hasn't? If you hold it inside it will just get worse.
Merin Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast It's not that love 'disappears'. It's that you're not in love yet. You don't know somebody enough at three months to be 'in love'. People start out by being infatuated, and that can disappear. Now you've found things you dislike, the shine has gone off. It will only get worse. Time to say goodbye. Word. This is spot on...
Outcast Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 He's deluding himself as well. In six months, the shine will wear off you and he'll fall 'out of love'. Just tell him you don't think you two are suited for a long-term relationship.
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