mrs rubble Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 My ex from 8 years ago randomly turned up on my doorstep last night. He came in for a coffee, my husband was already in bed asleep. By bizarre coincidence my husband and the ex worked together before I knew either of them. Anyway, he asked if he could shift in with us!!!!! I told him I'd have to talk to the hubby about it, knowing full well there is no way on earth he's shifting in. I'm just so stunned that he'd even ask. Has this happened to anyone else before?
Author mrs rubble Posted August 3, 2017 Author Posted August 3, 2017 Mrs Rubble would shift in mean move in ? Yes! Exactly he wants to rent a room in my house!!! I'm still gob smacked he would even ask!
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Wait, what??? Huh? To answer your question, not this has never happened to me. Why would it happen to normal people?! 1
Author mrs rubble Posted August 3, 2017 Author Posted August 3, 2017 Wait, what??? Huh? To answer your question, not this has never happened to me. Why would it happen to normal people?! I have no idea why it would happen to 'normal' people. I don't consider myself abnormal. My ex is a little 'special' though, I guess he thought having a history with my husband and having been members of the same church as me all this time...that I'd potentially go along with it. He's also lost his licence and works not far from me, he suggested I could give him a lift to work too!!
ExpatInItaly Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Why did you even let this guy into your house? 3
PegNosePete Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 It would never happen to me because: - If an ex turned up unannounced I would not let them in. - If an ex turned up at night when my partner was in bed asleep there is NO WAY I'd let them in. - If an ex asked if they could "shift in" with me, I would be honest and say NO, not give some line about asking my partner. 4
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Kind of sounds like when my ex knocked on my door unannounced one late evening....Shocking! My kids were watching, so couldn't simply say no. Oh, this happened twice. On top of that she texted my one afternoon to tell me that she had just moved into an apartment(half way across the country) a few miles from where I lived. Another, more disturbing, shock. Ugh. 1
somanymistakes Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 There's basically two possibilities for this sort of thing - obsessive stalking, or sheer desperation. Because if you've got nowhere to go, then heck, you may as well hit up old exes and ask. If they say no, you're not any worse off... 2
preraph Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 Nooooo. Sounds like he's homeless and digging deep to find someone from his past to lean on. I wonder if he's an alcoholic or jobless or what. Anyway, no way your husband is having any of it, so...Maybe slip him 50 bucks on the condition he NOT ever come back and upset your husband. 1
Author mrs rubble Posted August 4, 2017 Author Posted August 4, 2017 There's basically two possibilities for this sort of thing - obsessive stalking, or sheer desperation. Because if you've got nowhere to go, then heck, you may as well hit up old exes and ask. If they say no, you're not any worse off... I think it's sheer desperation as he's lost his license so needs to live close to work. His brother was the only one of his family who lived anywhere close, but he was killed in a car crash last year. Hence him hitting the bottle and losing his license.
Author mrs rubble Posted August 4, 2017 Author Posted August 4, 2017 Why did you even let this guy into your house? Because he's harmless and my husband doesn't have any problem with him or feel threatened by him, they have mutual friends from when they worked together. He has visited us in the past. 1
Author mrs rubble Posted August 4, 2017 Author Posted August 4, 2017 It would never happen to me because: - If an ex turned up unannounced I would not let them in. - If an ex turned up at night when my partner was in bed asleep there is NO WAY I'd let them in. - If an ex asked if they could "shift in" with me, I would be honest and say NO, not give some line about asking my partner. The only reason I agreed to ask my husband is because we could do with the extra cash! But I have told him no! It's just too weird!
SammySammy Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 No, that has never happened to me. I have had two exes sit in their cars outside my house. One would harass any girl she saw visiting. Had to get a restraining order against her. The other ... just sits. Doesn't get out. Doesn't say anything. Just sit. Then drive away. I went out to get my mail, made eye contact with her, went back into the house, watched her sit for a few more minutes, and then drive away. *shrugs*
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 No, that has never happened to me. I have had two exes sit in their cars outside my house. One would harass any girl she saw visiting. Had to get a restraining order against her. The other ... just sits. Doesn't get out. Doesn't say anything. Just sit. Then drive away. I went out to get my mail, made eye contact with her, went back into the house, watched her sit for a few more minutes, and then drive away. *shrugs* What in the world is happening in your world?!
SammySammy Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 What in the world is happening in your world?! The first one was in my twenties. Many years ago. Crazy times. The second one, I hadn't seen or spoken to in many years. I'm not sure what's going on with her. Apparently, she works close to my house. She's married and I'm guessing she doesn't want to complicate things. Just wanted to see me. Or something. I'm not really sure what her deal is. I've only seen her out there three times. I do know that our relationships were ... INTENSE. That may be part of it.
preraph Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 Well if your husband really has no problem with the guy first of all that's great. So maybe he want to help him out for two or three months and set a time limit right up front for him to be out. It does sound like he hit a bad patch.
Author mrs rubble Posted August 5, 2017 Author Posted August 5, 2017 Well if your husband really has no problem with the guy first of all that's great. So maybe he want to help him out for two or three months and set a time limit right up front for him to be out. It does sound like he hit a bad patch. I will suggest my ex ask other members from our church to house him, I'm sure someone will help him out. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 When my ex showed up unannounced from half way across the country, though shocking, she wasn't there looking for a job or place to live. My ex was and is a doctor and was hoping to rekindle our relationship...both still single, so tolerable until it wasn't. OP, your ex has no sense of boundaries. He knows you are married and moved on, but imposes himself on you and intrudes into your life. He needs a place to live and ride to work (or work)...ugh. I am shocked that your husband is okay with this. I wonder if inwardly he is not pleased at all. I sure as heck would not be. Help him settle elsewhere, but a woman accepting 'an ex' into the house with a new husband is just bad news no matter what and how you feel about him.
preraph Posted August 5, 2017 Posted August 5, 2017 I will suggest my ex ask other members from our church to house him, I'm sure someone will help him out. Even the church itself may well have a little room for him or know of an affiliate church who does. But he will have to behave -- which is how so many addicts and mentally ill end up homeless, sadly.
Recommended Posts