penguin7 Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 (edited) Hello everyone i don't even know where to start ... so there was a girl which is my ex she was trying to get close to me at first telling me all her secrets and she was in a very deep depression , she had no confidence, misreable life and it was me who is handling all her negativity and **** , then she almost begged me to get in a relationship with her and i don't why i just did it , things changed after 6 month of our relationship she had a new girlfriend which is a ***** and they started to be best friends suddenly my ex started to treat me like **** , avoiding me , not answering my texts blah blah blah , then one day out of the blue she dumped me for no reason , im a good looking guy that was really confident , happy , positive , turned into a **** , needy and a clingy guy i begged her many times to give me another chance acted needy she started treating me like **** and i accepted it ( i dont know how i lost my mind ) then one day she told me the reason we are never getting back together because im weak and i will never be able to protect her and ended up saying im not a man just a bicth ( she lost respect to me for accepting the way she treated me and for begging ) im really ashamed of myself and i cant get through the pain of how weak i was and the words she said are always in my head actually my life is ruined for 4 months and still im not getting any better and she is making me as ajoke around everyone in college telling people she dumped me for being a child and making fun of how i treated her nicely when she was treating me like dirt my confidence is down i cant feel happiness anymore i treated her and she poisoned me i swear i loved her , treated her like princess, was always there for her , never mistreated her once , and this is what i get , please i need advice we broke up 6 month ago and my life is getting worse and worse Edited August 1, 2017 by penguin7 1
ZayKayWill Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 I'm sorry you're feeling this way. In all honesty though she doesn't sound worth it to me. Does she have any legitimate reason for why she was putting you down so much? Is there something you're not telling us that you did that made her behave the way she is behaving? If not, then it sounds to me like she just has some self esteem issues and is taking it out on you? I don't know honestly...but she doesn't sound worth it to me. You know the story better than any of us do, though. It's really hard to not let someone ruin your self esteem especially someone you really cared about. I know from experience....best advice I can give you is to try to find someone else to replace her. Gonna be a lot harder to move on until you do. Sorry bro. The longer you overanalyze it, though, the worse it will be. 1
darkmoon Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 the sooner you graduate and move on the better just study, and do well in life, long-term, the world is full of girls tbh, many actively object to male protection, preferring independence, you two were not compatible
GorillaTheater Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 You accepted what you shouldn't have accepted, and begged when you should have told her "adios". So what? You had a weak moment that you'll learn from and hopefully won't repeat. Just like the rest of us. So stop beating yourself up. Who cares what she thinks? Value yourself and let her think whatever she wants. Which probably isn't much, for the most part. 5
Author penguin7 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 I'm sorry you're feeling this way. In all honesty though she doesn't sound worth it to me. Does she have any legitimate reason for why she was putting you down so much? Is there something you're not telling us that you did that made her behave the way she is behaving? If not, then it sounds to me like she just has some self esteem issues and is taking it out on you? I don't know honestly...but she doesn't sound worth it to me. You know the story better than any of us do, though. It's really hard to not let someone ruin your self esteem especially someone you really cared about. I know from experience....best advice I can give you is to try to find someone else to replace her. Gonna be a lot harder to move on until you do. Sorry bro. The longer you overanalyze it, though, the worse it will be. Not at all bro , she changed since her new girl knew about our relationship.... i don't care about her anymore to be honest i even hate her , the point is i cant let go of what she said and she is making fun of me in college .. thanks dude
SammySammy Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 She's right. If ... anything ... someone says to you "ruined your life" and caused it to get "worse and worse", then you need man up. Mere words don't break men. Stop all of that weak behavior, stop allowing people to treat you like ****, and stop making excuses. Never give up your manhood. For anybody. Especially so cheaply and easily and then try to blame on somebody else. 4
Author penguin7 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 that was really helpful bro , any advice how to deal with all the bull**** she is spreading to my colleagues in college ? thanks alot
SammySammy Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 that was really helpful bro , any advice how to deal with all the bull**** she is spreading to my colleagues in college ? thanks alot Ignore her. The best revenge is living well. Remember that. Just be the best person you can be in every way and people will eventually judge you for themselves. Keep learning. Keep growing. One day you'll look back at this and what she said and did will be so insignificant. But, when you get yourself together ... you'll see this as a stepping stone to you being a great man. A great husband to someone. A great father. But, it starts by not letting what people say or do shake you. Be strong. 4
ZayKayWill Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 She's right. If ... anything ... someone says to you "ruined your life" and caused it to get "worse and worse", then you need man up. Mere words don't break men. Stop all of that weak behavior, stop allowing people to treat you like ****, and stop making excuses. Never give up your manhood. For anybody. Especially so cheaply and easily and then try to blame on somebody else. Um, that's not true at all. Ever hear of an emotional scar? Sometimes words are the worst kind of pain ever. 3
GorillaTheater Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Um, that's not true at all. Ever hear of an emotional scar? Sometimes words are the worst kind of pain ever. Only if you let them. You have to learn to shake that **** off, especially considering the source. 5
Author penguin7 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 i could agree that this was the worst thing that happened to me my whole life , i just cant forget the words and the way she and her friend making fun of me and telling everyone how weak i was , it was mu first experience getting dumped i was always thr dumper
Author penguin7 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 Ignore her. The best revenge is living well. Remember that. Just be the best person you can be in every way and people will eventually judge you for themselves. Keep learning. Keep growing. One day you'll look back at this and what she said and did will be so insignificant. But, when you get yourself together ... you'll see this as a stepping stone to you being a great man. A great husband to someone. A great father. But, it starts by not letting what people say or do shake you. Be strong. % i do appreciate your words bro ... i admit i was weak af .. will try my best to make it up for myself ... thanks midnightdreams
Purepony Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 (edited) Are you 16? You don't have control over what she does or what she says to other people but what you do have control of his yourself and your actions at the define you as a person Don't give into the charade of her nonsense and her going around telling people you should actually feel bad for her because she obviously has nothing else going on other than to hold discussions with other people about how she dumped it sounds like that's the only interesting thing going on in her life Move on Edited August 1, 2017 by Purepony 1
Author penguin7 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 Are you 16? You don't have control over what she does or what she says to other people but what you do have control of his yourself and your actions at the define you as a person Don't give into the charade of her nonsense and her going around telling people you should actually feel bad for her because she obviously has nothing else going on other than to hold discussions with other people about how she dumped it sounds like that's the only interesting thing going on in her life Move on wish i was 16 then i wouldn't blame myself that much for what i did ... im 23 and thats the problem i shouldn't acted that way
preraph Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 You need to not let her write your script for what you do next in your love life because she is not a nice person. It IS true that begging and all that makes both men and women lose respect for you. It IS weak. That being said, there's few among us haven't either done it or had to gag ourselves to stop ourselves from doing it. So forgive yourself. Only thing you need to challenge in yourself is why you thought this little jerk was worth it, because she's mean. Women are not usually nearly that mean, so don't go thinking they are. 4
whatnot Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Hello everyone i don't even know where to start ... so there was a girl which is my ex she was trying to get close to me at first telling me all her secrets and she was in a very deep depression , she had no confidence, misreable life and it was me who is handling all her negativity and **** This is the person you met. And this is the person who left. You're collateral damage. She'll damage anyone she ever touches. One man's opinion... take care of yourself. You may be stronger than you think. 2
BaileyB Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Someone can only put you down if you let them... 3
Author penguin7 Posted August 2, 2017 Author Posted August 2, 2017 i really do appreciate all those beautiful comments guys .... im really feeling so much better because of you ... been down for months ... almost lost myself.... wish you all the best ...god bless you all 4
2011EvoGSR Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Look what you are going through is hard I know. My ex of two years just left me to go back to an abusive ex husband. Once I started looking back. I realized that one year ago when her ex started dating a new girl she checked out on me. She used me as company for an entire year and was just waiting for them to break up. Promised me the world talked of marriage and everything. But it was all lies. She just said the things I wanted to hear to keep me around. I just payed for a $3000 dollar cruise that we were suppose to go on in September. Blew $400 on concert tickets for her girls on Easter. A week and a half before she left me payed her cable bill for $200. I had no clue while I was doing these things and planning a future with her she was just waiting for them to break up and dump me. Once they broke up a few days later she dumped me with next to know information and told me nothing. I just learned she was back with him a month after this happened. She dumped me and he was moved in with her in less then a week. Point is you need to see the person for who they really are. What you felt for them means nothing. Because they didn't feel the same for you. There are good people in this world and there are bad people. I try to always see the good in my ex and make excuses for everything she has done. Reality is she is just not a good person and neither was your ex. Heal and move on it's all you can do. If you sit around and think about the good times you are just creating an illusion that never existed. 1
magnesium Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 OP, You are not weak. You were targeted by someone who sounds narcissistic, and now by damaging your reputation around college sounds like a smear campaign. She targeted you because you are STRONG in her eyes, and that made her jealous. She was envious of your strength, and targeted you. Now she is telling you you are weak and she is hoping you buy her bull. This is how she "wins." The more she sees you miserable, it makes her feel better. As others have said, the best way for you to bounce back is too not play her game, and focus on yourself. I know it's easier said than done though. 2
Author penguin7 Posted August 2, 2017 Author Posted August 2, 2017 Look what you are going through is hard I know. My ex of two years just left me to go back to an abusive ex husband. Once I started looking back. I realized that one year ago when her ex started dating a new girl she checked out on me. She used me as company for an entire year and was just waiting for them to break up. Promised me the world talked of marriage and everything. But it was all lies. She just said the things I wanted to hear to keep me around. I just payed for a $3000 dollar cruise that we were suppose to go on in September. Blew $400 on concert tickets for her girls on Easter. A week and a half before she left me payed her cable bill for $200. I had no clue while I was doing these things and planning a future with her she was just waiting for them to break up and dump me. Once they broke up a few days later she dumped me with next to know information and told me nothing. I just learned she was back with him a month after this happened. She dumped me and he was moved in with her in less then a week. Point is you need to see the person for who they really are. What you felt for them means nothing. Because they didn't feel the same for you. There are good people in this world and there are bad people. I try to always see the good in my ex and make excuses for everything she has done. Reality is she is just not a good person and neither was your ex. Heal and move on it's all you can do. If you sit around and think about the good times you are just creating an illusion that never existed. atleast she left with silence bro im not saying she is a good person and im not saying you weren't used and hurt ( im sorry for you i know the pain ) .... you did all good to your ex and then she left you for her ex .... mine was a bi**** and she just wanted to be mean and break me permanently down to my knees and all i did to her was giving her the best i have ! ... well said both of them are not good ....hope you find a bice person bro
ZayKayWill Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Only if you let them. You have to learn to shake that **** off, especially considering the source. The pain heals eventually, but the scar forever remains.
Chi townD Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Okay, first off. She had to demonize you in her head in order to break it off with you. That everything that is wrong in her life is your fault. It's easier to walk away from someone if you're mad at them (even if it isn't true). Why is she talking smack about you around Campus? Maybe because she has to try and justify her position when people ask. "Why did you break it off with him? Seems like a really great guy." Because, if people ask her "What happened?" She probably didn't want to say, "Oh, I got bored." Makes her look like a cold-hearted sh*thead. SHE has to be the victim in this, not you. So, she's going to try to paint you in a bad light for sympathy and victimhood "awwww....you poor girl." Dude, ignore it. Just be you. No, be better than you. Work on positive changes in your life. Actions speak louder than words. If you go on a happily living your life without a care in the world and she's still talking smack. people are going to notice on their own that she's bat sh*t crazy. 1
Author penguin7 Posted August 2, 2017 Author Posted August 2, 2017 Okay, first off. She had to demonize you in her head in order to break it off with you. That everything that is wrong in her life is your fault. It's easier to walk away from someone if you're mad at them (even if it isn't true). Why is she talking smack about you around Campus? Maybe because she has to try and justify her position when people ask. "Why did you break it off with him? Seems like a really great guy." Because, if people ask her "What happened?" She probably didn't want to say, "Oh, I got bored." Makes her look like a cold-hearted sh*thead. SHE has to be the victim in this, not you. So, she's going to try to paint you in a bad light for sympathy and victimhood "awwww....you poor girl." Dude, ignore it. Just be you. No, be better than you. Work on positive changes in your life. Actions speak louder than words. If you go on a happily living your life without a care in the world and she's still talking smack. people are going to notice on their own that she's bat sh*t crazy. actions speak louder than words thanks man
FenixRising Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 ...at first telling me all her secrets and she was in a very deep depression , she had no confidence, misreable life and it was me who is handling all her negativity This girl's deep depression, self-esteem issues, miserable life is no excuse to have treated you so ****ly. Remember as you said you are a good looking guy that was really confident, happy , positive, so you CAN be that awesome confident guy again. My 'man up' to you as a girl is: don't snap out of it, or just let it go. Rise above whatever petty childish things she's saying around the school. You're at college (you got yourself there, man!) and have shown you have been there for someone who asked you to be there for them. It's not your fault she turned out to use you. You're not a b**** for treating her like a princess. You deserve better than this girl. Don't worry about that moment of weakness of begging for her back. You tried to fight for what you wanted... it's done now.. and it shows more about how she poorly treats people. Think about how amazing it would be to have a man like you, someone who treats a girl well and is even willing to show vunerablity when fighting for something he wants. IMO showing vulnerability is not being weak but in certain situations is really a sign of strength. She's shown who the person she's become, now showing vulnerability to her is only going to make her continue to treat you the same negative way. Time to show her your wall and absense. She is going to feel the difference of you now not being there. Let her feel what she'll never have from you again. Stay clear from this toxic girl and anyone associated with her on campus, keep doing your studies... look back at who you were before this girl, and build that confidence and self-worth up again daily. We can't control other's words but we can control our reactions and focus. Focus on you, your studies, hobbies, friends. Be so engrossed in you that you free yourself from her words and treatment. Good luck man, looking forward to hearing how you go! 1
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