What happened? Are we through or has he gotten used to me?

[marinacallas]

Oh boy, where to start?

 

I met a guy back in May, and ever since I’ve been in a wonderama. I was working at a new, and I received a friend request from this guy who I’ll call Blaine. Blaine is 24, a college student, works in retail. I’m a 21-year-old college student. He’s in a word, adorkable, stutters, can hardly speak, can barely act right. Three or four lessons in, and he’s begun texting me. I keep it casual, it’s all good! Seemed like a nice kid, a little troubled, difficult childhood and family life. He texts me one day, tells me his life story, says he’s felt down and he needs someone to talk to who cares. We talk, he says he’s considered killing himself before due to some events in his past, and it has become evident to me that he’s been drinking. He says he’s thinking about killing himself. I get him to calm down, clean up, and he shows up the next day hung over. I tell him he needs to go to therapy, maybe get back on his medication, and I’m here to talk. We stay kinda friends, then he tells me he's alright now, and that he's on his meds again.

 

We go out on one date, he kisses me. Everything seems fine enough, but the next couple of days he begins to back off. He gets short with me over text, and he doesn’t tell me good morning or good night. I stop responding. Two days later, he sends me this long winded text message about, “I was going to tell you good morning, but I think I’ll just leave you alone. I feel like I’m bothering you. I hope everything is going good for you, and I know you’re going to go on and do great things in your life. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings or anything. You don’t have to message me back. Goodbye.” I didn’t message him back. A few hours later I get a message from him saying he injured himself by accident, and that he was waiting on someone to come get him. I told him I was sorry to hear that. He apologized for cutting me off. I ignored. He came back a few hours later and said he was out of the ER and going to stay with his family. We talked some casually for a few weeks, then things completely changed. He sent me screenshots where he kept selfies I sent, where used a picture of me as his phone background. He told me that he told his family that he cared for me, and that he wanted to be with me because I cared enough to help him when he needed it most. That I was beautiful, and that I was patient and kind, and that we wanted me to someday love him. That he told his friends I was going to be his girlfriend. I was flattered a little, and around middle of July he starts inviting me out again.

 

I’m gun shy, and he’s began to get a little short about me not coming around. I agreed to meet up for dinner, and the date went fine enough, but he said he wasn’t sure how long it’d be before he could go out again because he hasn’t been able to work. I say that’s fine, I offered to meet up just to hang out at one of our places, he kinda blows me off. Past couple of days he’s fallen back into drinking, and he only really texts to say good morning and good night. He still calls me baby, but he’s not talked about the future or about seeing me as much as he used to. No talk about sex, committing besides “Well, if we move in, we need to get a dog”. So I’ve pulled back, and even began to pick up where I left off talking to others since I don’t really think I know what to call us anymore. My only hold up if he told me he would get very angry if I did talk to someone else, but I don't think he has a right to be that angry if he's gonna leave me hanging. Well, Blaine's going back to work now, and I’m kind of waiting to see if it’ll be like before where he made an effort to text me. What should I do? Drop him? What’s this guy’s problem? Has he too many issues, and what does the sudden pull back mean?

[Erik30]

Drop this guy, there were already plenty of serious red flags early on... People tend to be on their best behaviour in the beginning, so he's probably even worse once you get to know him better. Block and move on

[spiderowl]

He seems erratic and unbalanced. I think you get involved with him at your peril. I would back off and let him know we are not a couple. Then date others.