oneinamillion93 Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 So I recently dating a 30's man with a hippy lifestyle I assumed otherwise I don't know what words to describe it. He's in his late 30's but doesn't have a car. No house, no mortgage or priority. Never committed to a job for a long time as he told me it got boring after a while. The only good thing about him was he's kind, love doing volunteering, love nature, traveling to many countries, love kids. The not so good side about him was he's too nice, a bit shy and reserved. I don't know if I should invest this relationship or stop. People say that I'm using my brain too much in dating, I should've follow my heart but I just can't. I don't know if there's any future for us. Would he be willing to settle down, find a job, built his career or anything at all. I also don't know if he's a loser kind of guy. I meant, why is a man in his 30's and haven't reached any things at all in his life?
Dis Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 He doesn't sound like a hippy... He sounds like a bum 3
caveman621 Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Sounds like he would be fun to hang out with, but probably not LTR material if you're looking for the white picket fence. Being kind and loving and volunteering does not preclude having a career. I like to think I'm that way.
Author oneinamillion93 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 Sounds like he would be fun to hang out with, but probably not LTR material if you're looking for the white picket fence. Being kind and loving and volunteering does not preclude having a career. I like to think I'm that way. This. To be honest he's fun and interesting to be around with. But I don't know how about the long run.
No_Go Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 How about you OP? Do you have your act together? I can't comment about the guy from this limited information but not owning a car/house doesn't make him a loser... Maybe he was striving to achieve another goal in his life? What is his career path? I personally have high paid job and the house with the white fence that I bought for myself:) but wouldn't dare to judge others that don't before getting the full picture... 5
Bastile Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 How about you OP? Do you have your act together? I can't comment about the guy from this limited information but not owning a car/house doesn't make him a loser... Maybe he was striving to achieve another goal in his life? What is his career path? I personally have high paid job and the house with the white fence that I bought for myself:) but wouldn't dare to judge others that don't before getting the full picture... You can assess his worth long-term from it though. Generally a man who wants to create a family should put the work in place to do that. Maybe he doesn't want that? But if he does, I would question his intelligence. Or if he's a hippy, maybe he just expects the government to pay for everything. Important to know his intentions. When I decided that I didn't want anything long-term, I quit the job I had with very good pay, and was dancing down the street. A man's intentions with women can be a catalyst for everything else.
No_Go Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Sure, but they just met seems like. He could be in a transition, not a government parasite;) I know what you mean though - when I decided I want a family I quit my basic research job (that I loved to no end) to get into something more practical... Well this move bought me my house... but it made me unhappy tbh. That's probably why I'd be more tolerant to a guy who doesn't have his sh*t together but is chasing a dream (of course if and only if he's otherwise kind and responsible person, not a drifter/mooch), You can assess his worth long-term from it though. Generally a man who wants to create a family should put the work in place to do that. Maybe he doesn't want that? But if he does, I would question his intelligence. Or if he's a hippy, maybe he just expects the government to pay for everything. Important to know his intentions. When I decided that I didn't want anything long-term, I quit the job I had with very good pay, and was dancing down the street. A man's intentions with women can be a catalyst for everything else. 2
GorillaTheater Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 He's in his late 30's but doesn't have a car. No house, no mortgage or priority. Never committed to a job for a long time as he told me it got boring after a while. I might argue that this guy is living the dream. 8
Chilli Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Should just ask him what you asked here. Pretty big ask at his age if he's never done it though, he might not believe in or want any of that stuff by the sounds of it. Some people just don't.
thefooloftheyear Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 I might argue that this guy is living the dream. I was thinking the same thing!!:lmao: TFY 2
amaysngrace Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 You barely even know him except for his possessions. That's a pretty shallow way to decide if you'll date a man or not. 4
Author oneinamillion93 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 You barely even know him except for his possessions. That's a pretty shallow way to decide if you'll date a man or not. Guys I'm dating this guy for awhile already and started to question about his ambitous and all. I might argue that this guy is living the dream. I thought so as well haha
amaysngrace Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Guys I'm dating this guy for awhile already and started to question about his ambitous and all. Then why are you asking us if he'd be willing to settle down? Why don't you ask him?
Author oneinamillion93 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 Then why are you asking us if he'd be willing to settle down? Why don't you ask him? I felt like it's pretty shallow to ask him this directly as I don't know it's okay to have this lifestyle or is not the norm.
GorillaTheater Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Guys I'm dating this guy for awhile already and started to question about his ambitous and all. There's nothing wrong with wanting a guy who's more ambitious. It's as valid a dating criteria as any. But if that's what you want, I wouldn't count on this guy changing. He's in his late 30s, and is likely pretty entrenched in his chosen lifestyle. 1
BluesPower Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Yeah, if you do have a job or legal tender, it is call being a bum. Please do not waste your time with someone like this...
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 There's nothing wrong with wanting a guy who's more ambitious. It's as valid a dating criteria as any. Agree. But if that's what you want, I wouldn't count on this guy changing. He's in his late 30s, and is likely pretty entrenched in his chosen lifestyle. It pretty much sounds like he's living an non-tethered life. You've been dating him for some time, so do you go to his place? Where and how does he live? Has he confided in you the rationale for his lifestyle and how that would mesh with your desires (or his) to have a family? Marry? I think all your answers could be easily answered by asking him.
Author oneinamillion93 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 It pretty much sounds like he's living an non-tethered life. You've been dating him for some time, so do you go to his place? Where and how does he live? Has he confided in you the rationale for his lifestyle and how that would mesh with your desires (or his) to have a family? Marry? I think all your answers could be easily answered by asking him. everything about him is really neutral guys so i cant really tell. his place, his work, friends, wardrobes etc ... maybe this guy into a non-tethered life as one of you guys just said
amaysngrace Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Maybe he is a minimalist. I think you should tell him exactly what you're saying here, that you like him and all but before you get more involved you want to know where he sees himself in a year from now or ten.
GunslingerRoland Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 I don't know that a single person should have a house and a mortgage. Probably not very cost effective. And if you're in the city a car isn't always necessary. But the fact that he can't seem to stay in a job for very long may be concerning... although it also depends on the industry. Some occupations that is normal in. Anyway, this guy could have a million dollars in the bank for all you know. 2
Author oneinamillion93 Posted August 1, 2017 Author Posted August 1, 2017 (edited) And if you're in the city a car isn't always necessary. But the fact that he can't seem to stay in a job for very long may be concerning... As for the car thing i think it's fine though. I don't have a car myself since public transportation always a choice. Good choice indeed. The job thing really make me concerned tho. So guys. This guy once told me he doesn't like fancy places or fancy clothes. He would rather go hiking or climbing than attend a party type of event. His love for nature is no joke though. Guess I'll just ask him myself about all of this Edited August 1, 2017 by oneinamillion93
lana-banana Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 The real issue is: The only good thing about him was... Material possessions aside, if your opinion is there's "only" one good thing about him, you have evidently made up your mind. 1
elaine567 Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 It depends really what you want in life. If you are happy living in a shack in the woods not knowing where your next penny is coming from, communing with nature then fine, but if your goal is to have a stable life with kids a house and a ready supply of food and money, then he is not really the man for you, is he? I think as his boredom threshold is really low, then you may find you wake up one day to find he is gone and no longer your problem any more.
Recommended Posts