Some feelings are impossible to just turn off..

[OneForMe]

l dunno what you want.

lf you want her that means them busting up.

Well, 21 , of course they'll probably bust up, sometime. !!!!!!!

Otherwise your just gonna be mr best friend while bf gets the girl.

Not my cuppa tea but hey , go for it.

 

l reckon the best bet , well the most decent thing anyway , is to go away , live your life, until they do break up. Could be wks or could be years.

 

Well, she's going away to college so that's really gonna test their commitment.. I just want her to be happy!

 

We don't know her name. Only you do.

 

That's how it's gonna stay!

 

 

This made me laugh out loud.

 

Good, I like to make people laugh.. Whether it's with me or at me, it's all the same to me! I'm good with myself, I don't even have a male ego because I think that's a guys biggest weakness..

 

what do you think her boyfriend thinks you are to her? Just a "friend" who approached her out of the blue, with no known common interest, and started talking her up enough to eventually get her number? I swear, all these people with their heads in the sand ... you, the boyfriend ... she's got total control over the both of you.

 

Well, I didn't divulge everything.. We are taking the same course so we traded numbers to compare notes! And you guys don't see how she looks and smiles at me. And She can control me all that she wants, I don't mind it at all, I'm the most easy going guy you'll ever meet and I would so anything for her!

[maxi105]

hello one for me, just a quick question, I haven't read your message too deeply as I'm pretty tired today, but one question that I am curious to know is what she thinks of you?

 

its clear you like her and maybe would if given the chance like to be with her...but how are you too together as talkers, friends, people that are close? can you trust her and what does she think about you? does she see you in the same way kind of ways you are seeing her at the moment; do you know?

 

has she ever given you any inkling that she really would leave her boyfriend to be with you or anyone else if a situation like this ever became more intense and reciprocated? is the strong feeling you feel around her something that you feel is just for you? or could she be that intense with others around her, intentionally or not?

 

I'm not really too clear if you both are close friends yet or see each other on a regular basis.

 

do you know what her friends think of you? or her boyfriend?

 

have you talked with her about how you feel, could you talk with her about this or would you feel she might turn you away in embarrassment?

 

so many questions haha (when I only thought I would be asking you one!!!!!)

 

here's another thought....maybe if she Is an honest, sincere, kind and thoughtful or sensitive person (and she is willing) then you might be able to talk to her openly and for her not to react in a bad way; I'm not saying if you talk to her it may not come as a shock or make her defensive or even a bit cross with what she might not have seen as a real situation coming to light, but if she can talk it out with you for a few moments then it sounds as though you might be better able to judge what she is saying and therefore be able to let her input and clarity as she sees things sink into your head and maybe heart a bit more (as in reality, only she can tell you what she feels about you!!!! and if she's comfortable/ would like to have you as a friend etc, or likes you but needs you to be more in control of your emotions etc...

 

if she IS the sort of person that is mature and can handle a friendship with you if you can keep the friendship just that - as a friendship; and you can trust her not to make light your emotions or discuss your feelings with other people you know will not understand this predicament then maybe you will set your self free one way or the other; and if she is not willing to be with you then maybe as a friend (or friend to be in the future??) she might be willing to help you - in time the chances to meet someone who is also good for you and so you can invest in meeting another kindred spirit - together through her company (as a friend only) as it were.

 

there are lots of good people around out there, so if this lady isn't open to not being with you and you can talk together honestly then you might find you still can have a good friend and also meet someone who can also make you happy but wants to share things with you and can talk and feel things the way you'd like to experience but have not found at present.

 

you have to be honest with yourself in this just as if you can talk she must also be honest with you, otherwise you will always harbour a crush for her and that will hurt you if it cannot take the shape you hope it will blossom into.

 

maybe she has feelings for you that are hidden or a slight for all we know; but is too frightened to act on them as she knows everyone expects her to be with this person, maybe she loves this person and is too afraid to tell you as she knows she would hurt you knowing the truth of your affections for her but her real love for her partner...but in truth, by not talking to you if she knows you like her more than a friend - she is hurting you anyway!!!!! so if you can and you can trust her to open up to you and both agree to keep to what has been agreed emotionally as a more stable and friend like manner (easier said than done I'm sure); but if you can, then I think you will both be in a much more productive and happier place than all this sexual tension and furtiveness that may or may not be going anywhere or may need spelling out KINDLY on her part.

 

I always think if you can talk about things then you will be in a better place: if she cannot or will not talk to you, then maybe you should ask yourself if she really is the sort of girl you think she is? or is she the sort of girl that is good for you and you are blind because you like her so much?

 

don't let yourself be fooled or daydreaming if you can help it any longer; you might be stopping yourself meeting someone really great who can communicate and is as honest with themselves as they are with what is really going on under the surface to a smaller or larger degree emotionally (for one of you only or possibly for both of you - where only one of you is able to talk or is allowing time to let this play on your thoughts).

 

its not always easy to be friends with someone you know you want more from, but if you are honest and talk about this and can promise to keep your bargain if things don't progress and you can still be a friend and look for a relationship elsewhere then you might just be able to move forward and keep a good person in your life; but it needs compromise, honesty, an appropriate time to safety to talk about things and above all else the ability to listen to what the other is really saying not just what you want from it all!!!! if you talk face to face and still can accept it then I think it might be better for the short term to step back from her and put your energy into making yourself the self confident, thoughtful, kind and loving person that will attract someone of a similar and available nature.

 

good luck with this, if she is willing to talk to you then I hope you can at least put your true feelings to her and wait to judge what the appropriate thing to do from there on is.

 

if you cant respect her decision after seeing her and hearing her thoughts about all of this or she cant you, then you will have your answer, but I feel it needs a proper face to face chat to clear any misunderstandings or assumptions up and a chance for you to both put your cards honestly on the table for a few moments of your lives to offer peace of mind a resolution hopefully to what should not be going on and on.

 

if you cant talk, then the chances of a stable relationship if things did go as you hoped for suddenly might not be as solid or happy as you thought.

 

sometimes we don't know the people we think we do, but at least if you can talk it through just the two of you, (no relating back to friends or partners) and just offer her a proper "look I have a problem" kind of chat, then I'm not sure the emotions that are going in circles will ever stop until she maybe hurts you because you cant take in her actual wishes.

 

I hope you can talk to her and she at least gives you the chance to tell her what she may already have guessed, as you will know for SURE, rather than wondering what if (or looking online for views from people that don't really know you or her)and hoping for signs that may never come without a great deal of hurt or added confusion.

 

I hope you get some peace from all this, it sounds like there are bits of it that are bringing you down in a small way because you don't know what she feels about you honestly and if what she feels is the same sort of thing that you feel and would like to develop. I'm not saying break her relationship or try to trap her, I am saying you both need to talk about this before things go any further in playing with your emotions

 

to talk to someone to know where you stand isn't to cheat, but if you don't talk to her and you do both have pent up feelings and become closer and closer denying you do like each other and forces get to strong and overwhelm you because you know it is suppressed; then isn't there a real danger if that happened at all that every time you saw each other there might be a wider margin for daydreams and illicit feelings to turn more solid feelings and physical attention etc, things like that do happen on occasion and if it gets to that then it can seriously HURT people and cause a lot of public humiliation and problems if people are married or have children etc...

 

 

but look, if you meet up with her in the way that I'm wondering it might be best to do to try to sort this thing out once and for all - (then you need to be fair to her partner too) and limit the time you meet her to a one off brief meeting in a non intimate setting, and promise to talk and accept and do what the other says.

 

if you cant, then there is not a balanced emotional tie between you and that might be because she already has what she needs in her partner! but again, I don't know what she thinks of you or him or this situation!!!!!

 

...but unless you see if she is willing to talk to you, then it is probably a lost hope in the long run anyway, so maybe make the time to keep a friend and move on emotionally I terms of love or perceived loving feelings that want more than will be shown in return.

 

best of luck with this, it doesn't sound an easy place to be. but at least try to see if you can get to the truth of the chemistry that you have experienced and get to the truth of if it is still there between you or was it just something that happened but now needs honesty and an apology if it isn't there anymore.

 

it might go your way, it might not, but that's the risk you'll have to take if you actually want to find out if what you have or feel you have is the real thing or actually feasible. if she loves her partner? or will not do anything to be with you then at least you will know the truth. I just hope she is kind and understanding in all of this. unrequited feelings are never easy, and as you have already said neither is regret either!!!!!!

 

you don't have anything to lose except a few moments of embarrassment, but the courage you take to putting it to her and the knowledge that you are an honest person may make any potential rejection given to you help the reality check that you might need to open the door for someone new and just as wonderful as you say she is as a person.

 

I hope it goes well for you (in that you at least both get to say what is on your minds). it sounds like what you need is to talk to this lady for a short while in private and not let the situation be talked out of or into by anyone other than her. she will tell you how it is I am sure of that, the question is and the even harder part is, can you deal with what she really wants and is prepared to do (or not do)???? only she can help you on this one I think.

 

see you. and good luck for this situation maxi:)

[kendahke]

 

That's how it's gonna stay!

 

No one wants to know her name. It's not necessary.

 

Her smiling at you is her just being nice--not that she wants you in her life. Go ahead and tell her:

 

I look forward to the time we can spend together. Even if it is just chatting for a few minutes, I love those moments.

I don't want her out of my life because our connection feels so real and so true,

I deserve to be happy and what if she's the one for me and worth fighting for?

I know if I let her go, I will regret it and hate myself for it for the rest of my life.

Something inside me is telling me to not give up, to make her a close friend and maybe one day win her heart.

It's one thing if she were married, I would let her go, but she has a boyfriend who she might have just started dating for all I know.

I know she also has some feelings for me

I just want her in my life,

I honestly can't imagine my life without her.

 

All I know for sure is that I really care for her, boyfriend or no boyfriend.?

 

And observe the warp speed she uses to put distance between you two.

 

In the meantime, I'd be about looking over my shoulder for her boyfriend and his posse turning up if I was you. He's not stupid and he's going to find out what you're up to (most likely because she's going to tell him and show him her phone) and it's not going to be pleasant for you.

[OneForMe]

hello one for me, just a quick question, I haven't read your message too deeply as I'm pretty tired today, but one question that I am curious to know is what she thinks of you?

 

its clear you like her and maybe would if given the chance like to be with her...but how are you too together as talkers, friends, people that are close? can you trust her and what does she think about you? does she see you in the same way kind of ways you are seeing her at the moment; do you know?

 

has she ever given you any inkling that she really would leave her boyfriend to be with you or anyone else if a situation like this ever became more intense and reciprocated? is the strong feeling you feel around her something that you feel is just for you? or could she be that intense with others around her, intentionally or not?

 

I'm not really too clear if you both are close friends yet or see each other on a regular basis.

 

do you know what her friends think of you? or her boyfriend?

 

have you talked with her about how you feel, could you talk with her about this or would you feel she might turn you away in embarrassment?

 

so many questions haha (when I only thought I would be asking you one!!!!!)

 

here's another thought....maybe if she Is an honest, sincere, kind and thoughtful or sensitive person (and she is willing) then you might be able to talk to her openly and for her not to react in a bad way; I'm not saying if you talk to her it may not come as a shock or make her defensive or even a bit cross with what she might not have seen as a real situation coming to light, but if she can talk it out with you for a few moments then it sounds as though you might be better able to judge what she is saying and therefore be able to let her input and clarity as she sees things sink into your head and maybe heart a bit more (as in reality, only she can tell you what she feels about you!!!! and if she's comfortable/ would like to have you as a friend etc, or likes you but needs you to be more in control of your emotions etc...

 

if she IS the sort of person that is mature and can handle a friendship with you if you can keep the friendship just that - as a friendship; and you can trust her not to make light your emotions or discuss your feelings with other people you know will not understand this predicament then maybe you will set your self free one way or the other; and if she is not willing to be with you then maybe as a friend (or friend to be in the future??) she might be willing to help you - in time the chances to meet someone who is also good for you and so you can invest in meeting another kindred spirit - together through her company (as a friend only) as it were.

 

there are lots of good people around out there, so if this lady isn't open to not being with you and you can talk together honestly then you might find you still can have a good friend and also meet someone who can also make you happy but wants to share things with you and can talk and feel things the way you'd like to experience but have not found at present.

 

you have to be honest with yourself in this just as if you can talk she must also be honest with you, otherwise you will always harbour a crush for her and that will hurt you if it cannot take the shape you hope it will blossom into.

 

maybe she has feelings for you that are hidden or a slight for all we know; but is too frightened to act on them as she knows everyone expects her to be with this person, maybe she loves this person and is too afraid to tell you as she knows she would hurt you knowing the truth of your affections for her but her real love for her partner...but in truth, by not talking to you if she knows you like her more than a friend - she is hurting you anyway!!!!! so if you can and you can trust her to open up to you and both agree to keep to what has been agreed emotionally as a more stable and friend like manner (easier said than done I'm sure); but if you can, then I think you will both be in a much more productive and happier place than all this sexual tension and furtiveness that may or may not be going anywhere or may need spelling out KINDLY on her part.

 

I always think if you can talk about things then you will be in a better place: if she cannot or will not talk to you, then maybe you should ask yourself if she really is the sort of girl you think she is? or is she the sort of girl that is good for you and you are blind because you like her so much?

 

don't let yourself be fooled or daydreaming if you can help it any longer; you might be stopping yourself meeting someone really great who can communicate and is as honest with themselves as they are with what is really going on under the surface to a smaller or larger degree emotionally (for one of you only or possibly for both of you - where only one of you is able to talk or is allowing time to let this play on your thoughts).

 

its not always easy to be friends with someone you know you want more from, but if you are honest and talk about this and can promise to keep your bargain if things don't progress and you can still be a friend and look for a relationship elsewhere then you might just be able to move forward and keep a good person in your life; but it needs compromise, honesty, an appropriate time to safety to talk about things and above all else the ability to listen to what the other is really saying not just what you want from it all!!!! if you talk face to face and still can accept it then I think it might be better for the short term to step back from her and put your energy into making yourself the self confident, thoughtful, kind and loving person that will attract someone of a similar and available nature.

 

good luck with this, if she is willing to talk to you then I hope you can at least put your true feelings to her and wait to judge what the appropriate thing to do from there on is.

 

if you cant respect her decision after seeing her and hearing her thoughts about all of this or she cant you, then you will have your answer, but I feel it needs a proper face to face chat to clear any misunderstandings or assumptions up and a chance for you to both put your cards honestly on the table for a few moments of your lives to offer peace of mind a resolution hopefully to what should not be going on and on.

 

if you cant talk, then the chances of a stable relationship if things did go as you hoped for suddenly might not be as solid or happy as you thought.

 

sometimes we don't know the people we think we do, but at least if you can talk it through just the two of you, (no relating back to friends or partners) and just offer her a proper "look I have a problem" kind of chat, then I'm not sure the emotions that are going in circles will ever stop until she maybe hurts you because you cant take in her actual wishes.

 

I hope you can talk to her and she at least gives you the chance to tell her what she may already have guessed, as you will know for SURE, rather than wondering what if (or looking online for views from people that don't really know you or her)and hoping for signs that may never come without a great deal of hurt or added confusion.

 

I hope you get some peace from all this, it sounds like there are bits of it that are bringing you down in a small way because you don't know what she feels about you honestly and if what she feels is the same sort of thing that you feel and would like to develop. I'm not saying break her relationship or try to trap her, I am saying you both need to talk about this before things go any further in playing with your emotions

 

to talk to someone to know where you stand isn't to cheat, but if you don't talk to her and you do both have pent up feelings and become closer and closer denying you do like each other and forces get to strong and overwhelm you because you know it is suppressed; then isn't there a real danger if that happened at all that every time you saw each other there might be a wider margin for daydreams and illicit feelings to turn more solid feelings and physical attention etc, things like that do happen on occasion and if it gets to that then it can seriously HURT people and cause a lot of public humiliation and problems if people are married or have children etc...

 

 

but look, if you meet up with her in the way that I'm wondering it might be best to do to try to sort this thing out once and for all - (then you need to be fair to her partner too) and limit the time you meet her to a one off brief meeting in a non intimate setting, and promise to talk and accept and do what the other says.

 

if you cant, then there is not a balanced emotional tie between you and that might be because she already has what she needs in her partner! but again, I don't know what she thinks of you or him or this situation!!!!!

 

...but unless you see if she is willing to talk to you, then it is probably a lost hope in the long run anyway, so maybe make the time to keep a friend and move on emotionally I terms of love or perceived loving feelings that want more than will be shown in return.

 

best of luck with this, it doesn't sound an easy place to be. but at least try to see if you can get to the truth of the chemistry that you have experienced and get to the truth of if it is still there between you or was it just something that happened but now needs honesty and an apology if it isn't there anymore.

 

it might go your way, it might not, but that's the risk you'll have to take if you actually want to find out if what you have or feel you have is the real thing or actually feasible. if she loves her partner? or will not do anything to be with you then at least you will know the truth. I just hope she is kind and understanding in all of this. unrequited feelings are never easy, and as you have already said neither is regret either!!!!!!

 

you don't have anything to lose except a few moments of embarrassment, but the courage you take to putting it to her and the knowledge that you are an honest person may make any potential rejection given to you help the reality check that you might need to open the door for someone new and just as wonderful as you say she is as a person.

 

I hope it goes well for you (in that you at least both get to say what is on your minds). it sounds like what you need is to talk to this lady for a short while in private and not let the situation be talked out of or into by anyone other than her. she will tell you how it is I am sure of that, the question is and the even harder part is, can you deal with what she really wants and is prepared to do (or not do)???? only she can help you on this one I think.

 

see you. and good luck for this situation maxi:)

 

Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful advice and support! Right now is really a fragile time because she's about to go off and start college and that is the most important thing! I would never forgive myself if I ruined her future, especially when what she's studying is the most selfless, caring career anybody could ever choose! She needs her full concentration on herself and her education right now, not on me. The world needs her to make it better by following her path and helping people. And I know she is probably stressed out only about this huge journey she's about to embark on. So I am letting her go to college and follow her dreams because it's the ONLY thing that matters right now!

 

I know I'll see her again in the near future so if my feelings are just as strong then, I'm definitely going to tell her how I feel. By then she will be all settled in and not cause her so much of a shock to her system. Right now I'm just going to keep touch with her, I'll check in with her by calling her at college and show her how much I care just by being there with my love and support. Because I know how hard it all can be but at the same time she is the most impressive person I have ever met so I know she will be able to handle herself and stay focused. But it never hurts to be there showing love and support.

 

To answer some of your questions, I honestly know she cares about me because every single time I walk by her, even if I just say her a minute ago, she always smiles and says hi. She smiles at me from far away and I even made her laugh out loud from a distance by just making a silly face. So I honestly don't feel the need to ask her if she wants to be friends, because we already feel like we've known each other our entire lives. And that also may make her feel like I don't have faith in the connection we share. She is a super shy person so I never pressure her but half the time it's her starting the conversation so we're already true friends and always will be as far as I'm concerned. She truly cares about me, I know she does just by the way she acts around me. This connection we have is undeniable no matter what the naysayers may say! She may have a different perception of our connection but I am positive she feels it too. You're right tho, it's her and I who need to reveal our true feelings to ourselves, not random strangers on the internet dictating how we feel about each other. And that will come in due time but right now, I'm willing to take the chance and wait and see how it all turns out. I'll put my heart and soul on the line because I knows she's worth it. And who knows, maybe one day I'll just ask her to marry me!

 

But at this moment in time, I also have some affairs I need to get in order. I need to head my own separate way, totally in the opposite direction of hers. And I will have some amazing family and people to get advice from as well so I will have my own soul searching to do. And if after all that, I'm still feeling so strongly, I may just ask her to spend the rest of her life with me by the biggest commitment anyone can ever make. Or we will just be friends. That is all up to the higher power which brought us together to decide. I believe in fate and I know it will all turn out the way it's meant to me. So right now we need to head our separate ways because it's just the simple laws of physics and it can't be changed. I know it will be very painful and I'll miss her all the time, but the pain will be a good pain because it'll be a constant reminder that I truly deeply care about someone.

 

You said it's really an unenviable situation and a lot of the time I'm so consumed with thinking about it all that I'm stressed out, anxious and I can't eat. But the moment I see her, that all goes away and I truly feel like I can be myself. And that is the most important thing because it means our connection is true and when we're apart it's just painful at times. But I would not trade any of it for anything of the world. Because I know she is my angel, and everyone can laugh, I could honestly care less. She saved me because for the first time in my entire life I'm free of the fear of abandonment. Anyone I've ever cared about, I was always scared of losing them. But with her, my heart and soul tells me that she will never leave my life. She is too open minded, positive and loving to ever do that to me. She is the most amazing person I have ever met.

 

And you were saying that maybe she isn't as sweet and innocent as I perceive her. But I have spent enough time with her to know that she really is. She is the kindest most thoughtful person I have ever met and I know I'll never meet anyone more real and good. In my profession, I deal with hundreds of two faced people each week and she is like a shining light in all the darkness. Someone I always dreamed of but never thought I would actually meet. She does exist and she is pure and true. People may scoff and say I don't know her well enough to make those judgments. But there are certain things I haven't divulged about us and never will because it's just between me and her and will always be sacred to us and us alone.

 

But what I can say is, I can't imagine my life without her in it. I think back on my life before I met her, I was lost and empty. Now I wake up with a purpose every day and anyone who wants to hate on me for it, I'll take it as pure jealousy. Because she is the friend I literally dreamed and prayed of meeting my entire life and I won't let a few haters sway me or make me hate myself for these feelings which I would not trade for anything else in the world. I'm just happy that I'll never have to go back to a life without her being in it. And I won't lie, I was actually taken a bit aback by some people's responses on here. I honestly thought more people would be supportive and happy for a true connection between 2 people in this crazy universe but I shouldn't be surprised or disappointed that there are cynical people on the internet. I just expected some of this stuff maybe on Reddit, not on a love forum. But hey, if you're somehow right that I'm headed straight for heartbreak this is still all worth it and I would not do anything differently. But I know it's not the case because signs are slapping me in the face left & right on a daily basis.

 

But I've been on forums since the day I could read so I shouldn't be shocked by anything. I thought there would be more hopeless romantics on the site like this but I should know there are trolls and negative people everywhere. Not saying that everyone is because I always value honest advice and criticism. But if it's coming from a place of cynicism and jealousy then I'm truly not interested. But nothing anyone can say would ever sway me anyway and one day we will sit together read this and laugh at people's silly responses! Because in the end, she inspires me to write and be a positive influence on this world. Look at everything she is bringing to my life and out of me every day. I am truly blessed to have her and my loving family in my life, and hopefully one day soon she will be family too.

[maxi105]

ah hello there one four me, you got it bad then!!! haha...no really, its great to hear your perspective on this, it sounds as though you really do like this girl and have something special with her.

 

if it were me though in your place, I would tell her how you feel whilst she is still undergoing the preparations for college and the new academic year; I know you don't want to intrude on her and you'd like to let her focus on her studies whilst looking to your own personal areas to sort out; but college and being away from home is notorious for people meeting new people.

 

how would you think if she tells you she's met someone new? they will have a bond that will be one of a shared learning experience; and that can be a pretty intense thing and an emotional journey.

 

it may also prevent endless news from her about her partner!!!

 

but ultimately the choice is yours and I'm sure you will keep to the things you think are best for you - i only say what i have done as i know that love doesn't run to a set course (as you have found out already)!! and moving away to study or being around a whole new learning exploratory experience can make people vunreable, reach out, and take new paths...

 

if she likes you then maybe you could see her and write, and if she tries and moves on or just as you want to offer her - just needs to focus /or doesn't want to start anything then at least you know you will still have her in your life as a friend. nothing ventured. sometimes the truth if you can face it is better out quickly so there is time to adjust to the outcome, be it wht you hope for or otherwise.

 

thank you so much for taking the time and trouble to let us know more of your feelings; maybe invite her to read your original post! I'm sure she does know you are special; and if you are soul searching right now, then maybe if you get your answer and it isn't the right one for your hopes then you can heal with all the situations you need to work on all together bit by bit, rather than healing, waiting and then maybe getting crushed again.

 

very best of luck with whatever course you choose with her. i have a feeling you will still wait (and that's fine); just don't let the waiting game cost you a chance to put your heart out to her!

 

long distance can test relationships and in a funny way her partner will probably feeling the uncertainty you are feeling about her meeting new people.

 

but regardless of who is with who and what if's; i still think that a decision of the heart can only be thought about when all of the information between all of the people involved is on the table.

 

so there it is, my last thougts and well wishes to you. sincere thanks again and good luck with all of your soul searching. you will get there in the end andif it meant to be, then ive no doubt youre going to be one of the happiest people going!

 

and p.s.i don't think you will ruin her future!!!! she is going to college to try to negotiate a better future in the first place - so i don't think she will want to invest in everything that goes with moving away from home and her comforts/friends etc and being out of her comfort/learning zone to let something like this cloud her...and even if it did, the first year will be jus the start and she will have a better take on her progress and expectations for herself, if she was in her final year then the distraction might be more difficult for her to deal with, but as i say; you must and will follow your own star on this matter.

 

what will be will be as they say. so very best of luck and thanks again for letting us into your thoughts about her.;)see you. maxi.