lifeinlove Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I started talking to a guy on IG, he messaged me first and we became very close. At first we spoke as friends because I was going through a break up and wasn't ready to date. He always asked to hang out but I never went to see him, I told him I wasn't ready to meet a stranger. I didn't tell him I was simply getting over a heartbreak/breakup. We've spoke over text for 8 months, without meeting he told me he liked me romantically. He went on vacation and after he came back he started ignoring me and I did the same. After not talking for three months I reached out to him. I was ready for a relationship now with him, we started talking again. But this time the conversations weren't flirty and after a week he revealed he was seeing someone. I was heartbroken because I deeply liked him and had real feelings/connections with him. We used to talk everyday for 8 months it was natural for feelings to develop. I told him how sad I was that I never got the chance to meet him in person. We both live in the area not far from each other. We arranged to meet as friends (although I wanted more but he has a gf). After meeting him we instantly had a connection, he was flirty and we ended up kissing in the moment. We both agreed its wrong but he told me his gf was leaving to another state in two months. He told me he doesn't believe in long distance relationships and they will break up when she leaves. What should I do? I feel like god is giving us a chance should I wait for him? or let him go? he did cheat on his gf with me that is another worry of mine.
coolheadal Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I started talking to a guy on IG, he messaged me first and we became very close. At first we spoke as friends because I was going through a break up and wasn't ready to date. He always asked to hang out but I never went to see him, I told him I wasn't ready to meet a stranger. I didn't tell him I was simply getting over a heartbreak/breakup. We've spoke over text for 8 months, without meeting he told me he liked me romantically. He went on vacation and after he came back he started ignoring me and I did the same. After not talking for three months I reached out to him. I was ready for a relationship now with him, we started talking again. But this time the conversations weren't flirty and after a week he revealed he was seeing someone. I was heartbroken because I deeply liked him and had real feelings/connections with him. We used to talk everyday for 8 months it was natural for feelings to develop. I told him how sad I was that I never got the chance to meet him in person. We both live in the area not far from each other. We arranged to meet as friends (although I wanted more but he has a gf). After meeting him we instantly had a connection, he was flirty and we ended up kissing in the moment. We both agreed its wrong but he told me his gf was leaving to another state in two months. He told me he doesn't believe in long distance relationships and they will break up when she leaves. What should I do? I feel like god is giving us a chance should I wait for him? or let him go? he did cheat on his gf with me that is another worry of mine. Sure, he cheated on her (how many time though) Here you come miss happy go lucky. You have no clue to who your dealing with he's still a stranger, a player and a cheater. He's do this to you as well and your in for another heart break. You not going to be able to stand it if he does that to you also. But he will he can't help himself. So all this time he's been with his girl friend cheating emotionally (text only talking) with you. if I was you wait and see if the current girl friend leaves as he said she's doing. To bad you can speak with her to learn more about him. I am sure if you did that you would learn the truth and then get the whole picture. This doesn't sound good to me you going to get yourself into another messy relationship with a cheater.. 1
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 At the very least, I would tell him to bugger off until he is single... You have two problems though... First, you have "developed feelings" for a "virtual stranger." You don't know this man and you have fallen into the trap of feeling like you know him because you have texted so often - when the truth is, you don't know him at all. And, the other problem is that you clearly know based on how this "relationship" started that he is not to be trusted. With that information, proceed at your own risk...
d0nnivain Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 You met this guy once. At the time you met you knew he was taken but you allowed the kiss to happen & fully participated. Until & unless he breaks up with his GF, you need to stay away. You have already proven you don't want to be "just friends." You want more. Knowing how he is, if you get together & he wants to go hang out with his new female friend from IG how are you going to feel when you are the one he's cheating on? 2
Author lifeinlove Posted July 31, 2017 Author Posted July 31, 2017 Thank you for your input, he started dating his gf once we stopped talking, he told me he couldn't wait for me because I didn't promise him anything or agreed to meet him. So in the time we stopped talking he found her, they were together for 6 months now but he did tell me she isn't right for him. She is much older and me and him are the same age. Also she has severe depression so he knew it wouldn't work with her but he does love her although she is leaving in August. They are living together for the time being. He told me in the time he was with her he didn't cheat with anyone and I was the only one. He kissed me because we were talking for a really long time. But I'm not sure still because of the saying "ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER". However I feel a deep connection with him and we are compatible. But my other fear is becoming a rebound. Our timing is bad but the heart wants what it wants. What do you guys think I should do help!
d0nnivain Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I think you should walk away & see what action he takes. If he breaks up with her & comes after you that is one thing. If he somehow wants to juggle you both, that is a problem.
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 (edited) I think you should walk away & see what action he takes. If he breaks up with her & comes after you that is one thing. If he somehow wants to juggle you both, that is a problem. Exactly this. Walk away. If he knows she is not the one for him, there is absolutely no reason why he should have to wait until she leaves before they break up. If he wants to be with you, he will make a decision and he will make himself available to be with you... Ps. My parents did this. They were both dating other people when they met. They say, there was an instant connection and the next day, they broke up with the people they were dating... And the rest, as they say... is history Edited July 31, 2017 by BaileyB
Author lifeinlove Posted July 31, 2017 Author Posted July 31, 2017 I think you should walk away & see what action he takes. If he breaks up with her & comes after you that is one thing. If he somehow wants to juggle you both, that is a problem. I stopped talking to him, but it's hard because I know he is going through struggles right now because she is leaving at the end of this month. I don't plan on seeing him because I don't want to tempt him to cheat again. It is such an odd situation in my life right now. I've never been anyone's other woman, I think I can wait another month. I think I just don't want to walk away with nothing after investing a year of my life talking to this man everyday. In the meantime I want to try and date other men but hope is one hell of a drug.
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Do not believe him! I was in a similar situation and I stupidly believed this guy that claimed he would breakup with his gf after they came back from vacation....so I waited. A month goes by and he told me he couldn't do it....the coward had the nerve to contact me 6 months later for a date...still didn't breakup with her then! I already met my husband so his loss.
d0nnivain Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 If he doesn't have the stones to break up with her & pick you, but is waiting for her to leave, you need to understand that he cares more about her then you. What are you going to do when a month goes by & he's still with her? You didn't waste a year. You talked to some guy. You met him once. The only time you are wasting is now when you continue to hold on. Please, chose yourself. 2
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 IMO this guy is a coward too. Why does he have to wait for her to leave??? Why can't he just end it with her? I bet money on it he won't do it and keep seeing the both of you. 1
preraph Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 He's had his line in the water while having a girlfriend this whole time and if he'll cheat on her, he'll cheat on you too. Just know if you see him that he's online looking for greener grass over the hill. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I stopped talking to him, but it's hard because I know he is going through struggles right now because she is leaving at the end of this month. I don't plan on seeing him because I don't want to tempt him to cheat again. It is such an odd situation in my life right now. I've never been anyone's other woman, I think I can wait another month. I think I just don't want to walk away with nothing after investing a year of my life talking to this man everyday. In the meantime I want to try and date other men but hope is one hell of a drug. In all likelihood, a month will change nothing. I gather you don't have much experience with guys like this, but they'll say just about anything to keep their side piece around while still going home (so to speak) to their girlfriends. If he really wanted you more, he'd drop her. Now. Not in a month. Now. 3
O'Malley Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Unless and until you're in a relationship with this guy all you have are expectations that aren't aligned with reality. Some men and women can act interested in you, confide in you, sleep with you and make future plans with you and be doing the exact same thing with someone else and/or have no intention of pursuing an actual relationship with you. So in the time we stopped talking he found her, they were together for 6 months now but he did tell me she isn't right for him. She is much older and me and him are the same age. Also she has severe depression so he knew it wouldn't work with her but he does love her although she is leaving in August. He feels she isn't right for him, he claims he knew it wouldn't work with her - yet instead of communicating his feelings to her, he's complaining about her to a woman he wants to hook up with on the side. Are his actions those of a trustworthy and thoughtful person? 2
Miss Spider Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 If you guys have this great connection and he doesn't do LD why is he waiting 1 month until his GF leaves to break up? That does not even make sense, do you see? You're probably not his only side piece given he uses IG as a dating tool. Regardless, a cheater is a cheater
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I stopped talking to him, but it's hard because I know he is going through struggles right now because she is leaving at the end of this month. I don't plan on seeing him because I don't want to tempt him to cheat again. It is such an odd situation in my life right now. I've never been anyone's other woman, I think I can wait another month. I think I just don't want to walk away with nothing after investing a year of my life talking to this man everyday. In the meantime I want to try and date other men but hope is one hell of a drug. If he is torn up about the fact that she is leaving and waits until she leaves to break up with her, that certainly tells you that he cares more about her and doesn't feel the same "great connection" that you are feeling. You don't want to be the other woman and you don't want to wait anymore... He may string you along indefinitely, for all you know now... And you have not wasted a year of your life - puh-lease! You are a drama queen... "hope is one hell of a drug..." Give me a break! You have met this guy once - you should not have "deep feelings" for him and he clearly doesn't have deep feelings for you if he's not jumping to break up with this other depressed, older woman who is leaving in a month... Forget him. Live your life and don't waste another second waiting for a man who doesn't actually sound like a very great catch!
kendahke Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 This is just messy and unnecessary. I feel sorry for this guy's girlfriend. She doesn't deserve this level of contempt from either of you. 1
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