d0nnivain Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Poutrew While I find your suggestion humorous, it will only show the OP this jerk's guy's true colors. When she says this, he will accuse her of sleeping around, deny that it's his & then ghost. He's not gonna step up to the plate nor will he see the humor in it when she says j/k 1
2much4 Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Why do you think I should have dumped him completely ? Because he has no respect for your physical integrity. You've only been together for a few months and this type of behaviour usually gets worse over time. He refused to go get a condom because it feels better without. Anyone who thinks it's ok to violate your physical boundaries with this logic will be detrimental to your self esteem over time. I'll try not to get too graphic on my next example: if he wanted to have anal sex instead of normal sex....because it feels better. Would you still consider it acceptable behaviour if he did it without your consent? While this situation might feel worse, the actions and logic are exactly the same. Someone who's worth it will never put his own pleasure over your wellbeeing. 2
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Because he has no respect for your physical integrity. You've only been together for a few months and this type of behaviour usually gets worse over time. He refused to go get a condom because it feels better without. Anyone who thinks it's ok to violate your physical boundaries with this logic will be detrimental to your self esteem over time. I'll try not to get too graphic on my next example: if he wanted to have anal sex instead of normal sex....because it feels better. Would you still consider it acceptable behaviour if he did it without your consent? While this situation might feel worse, the actions and logic are exactly the same. Someone who's worth it will never put his own pleasure over your well being. I was thinking the same thing... "Oops, it's the wrong spot. So sorry - hope your ok with that." I do like the idea of telling him that you are late... It's called, a natural consequence 1
coolheadal Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Hi all I have a problem which I need advice on. I hope someone can help. I have been dating a guy for around four months now. A few nights ago we had dinner and a few drinks, we both ended up tipsy. Late that night we went to bed as you do and one thing lead to another. Previously I discussed with him that I had to come off my pill because it was causing me problems. We were in his room in the dark and we started to take each other's clothes off as things got more heated. Before anything happened I said to him we need to use protection and reminded him about the pill. He agreed. Again as we kept kissing I gently reminded him again and he said yeah we can use a condom, so at this he excused himself to go and lock his front door and came back and went into his drawer , which I assumed was to get a condom. He came back and we started kissing again and next thing he moves inside me and we have sex. A few minutes later he pulled out and ejaculated on to my stomach, this is when I then realise he hadn't went and got a condom after all. For whatever reason I did not say anything to him at the time , probably due to having. A few drinks but I know I should have. But now I am left feeling angry. My question is though is this my fault for not double checking when he entered me? I feel so worried I could be pregnant but I'm not sure who's fault this all is , mine or his. I'm not sure what to think. I feel disrespected. The next morning he attempted to have sex with me again without one but I said no. He replied it's ok I pulled out last night in plenty time and said he would do that again to which said no.any advice would be greatly appreciated. What would you do I. This situation? Am I at fault here or him? Thank you guys Not your fault but he knew what he was doing? If I was like you should get tested for STDs and if you are pregnant or not. You really don't know this guy. Still stranger.
RecentChange Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I would have gone ballistic. My husband is the only man I have ever slept with, without a condom. I do remember those college days etc where I would have to be VERY admit about it. If a guy doesn't respect you enough to respect your wishes for safe sex, he doesn't respect you enough to be sharing your body with him in my opinion. I suppose lesson learned. Always have condoms on hand, make a visual to make sure it's on, or better yet put it on yourself. And if he gives you resistance.... Well, for me, that a guy I wouldn't be having sex with. Also makes me wonder how many others have they barebacked. 1
Redhead14 Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Hi all I have a problem which I need advice on. I hope someone can help. I have been dating a guy for around four months now. A few nights ago we had dinner and a few drinks, we both ended up tipsy. Late that night we went to bed as you do and one thing lead to another. Previously I discussed with him that I had to come off my pill because it was causing me problems. We were in his room in the dark and we started to take each other's clothes off as things got more heated. Before anything happened I said to him we need to use protection and reminded him about the pill. He agreed. Again as we kept kissing I gently reminded him again and he said yeah we can use a condom, so at this he excused himself to go and lock his front door and came back and went into his drawer , which I assumed was to get a condom. He came back and we started kissing again and next thing he moves inside me and we have sex. A few minutes later he pulled out and ejaculated on to my stomach, this is when I then realise he hadn't went and got a condom after all. For whatever reason I did not say anything to him at the time , probably due to having. A few drinks but I know I should have. But now I am left feeling angry. My question is though is this my fault for not double checking when he entered me? I feel so worried I could be pregnant but I'm not sure who's fault this all is , mine or his. I'm not sure what to think. I feel disrespected. The next morning he attempted to have sex with me again without one but I said no. He replied it's ok I pulled out last night in plenty time and said he would do that again to which said no.any advice would be greatly appreciated. What would you do I. This situation? Am I at fault here or him? Thank you guys He replied it's ok I pulled out last night in plenty time and said he would do that again -- He also agreed to use a condom the first time. I would not continue seeing this guy. He negated the "agreement/reminder" autonomously, so what will happen with future important agreements? This is unacceptable.
preraph Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 so an update- I spoke to him today and he says that he went into his drawer for lube not a condom and that this must have been when I though he went in for a condom. He says he knows that he pulled out well before he came and that he is sure it will be okay but he is deeply sorry and would never disrespect me . He says he know she shouldn't have relied on the pull out method but he got carried away and because he had had a few drinks and it was just because he was enjoying himself he got caught up in lust and knew he wanted to be inside me.and has never disrespected me and wouldn't ever.he has apologised but I'm still not sure how to feel about it. Any advice? Actions speak way more than words. Now he's just lying. He did what he wanted to do, which is have sex without a condom. If you get pregnant, he'll wash his hands of you so fast it will make your head spin because he's irresponsible. I told you he'd tell you there's no way you would get pregnant pulling out but how do you think all those teens have gotten pregnant over the years? By believing their bf's BS.
preraph Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I had a nonserious boyfriend once and we just kind of petered out, not a falling out, but we just hit a wall, but once in a awhile over the next few years we'd see each other out at a gig and just have sex together. This was all well and good in the '70s, but when he came around in the '80s after herpes and aids epidemics, I insisted he wear a condom and had them on hand and put it on him myself. In the middle of intercourse, he removed his condom in a real aggravated manner, and that was the last time I ever slept with him and avoided him from then on.
Author Allison feeney Posted July 31, 2017 Author Posted July 31, 2017 Actions speak way more than words. Now he's just lying. He did what he wanted to do, which is have sex without a condom. If you get pregnant, he'll wash his hands of you so fast it will make your head spin because he's irresponsible. I told you he'd tell you there's no way you would get pregnant pulling out but how do you think all those teens have gotten pregnant over the years? By believing their bf's BS. I'm not a teenager I'm 28 and he is 36. I guess that makes me look worse, and also him because we both should have known better and believe me I do blame myself as I am usually 100% responsible. I know I can't rely on the pull out method and I no way intended to use this method until this mistake happened . I should have checked 100% But i thought after voicing that we needed to use something That he wouldn't th n go and stick it in without despite my bad judgement.
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I'm not a teenager I'm 28 and he is 36. I guess that makes me look worse, and also him because we both should have known better and believe me I do blame myself as I am usually 100% responsible. I know I can't rely on the pull out method and I no way intended to use this method until this mistake happened . I should have checked 100% But i thought after voicing that we needed to use something That he wouldn't th n go and stick it in without despite my bad judgement. It does make it look worse... for him. He is a 36 year old man who should be more mature and should have known better. But you are correct, after voicing that you needed to use something, he should never have stuck it in without a condom. The fact that he did not keep his end of the bargain and do as you requested, is the problem. He has lied to you, on more than one occasion. He knew exactly what he was doing and he did exactly what he wanted to do - because it felt better for him, regardless of the risk to you.... Good guys don't do this. 2
preraph Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I'm not a teenager I'm 28 and he is 36. I guess that makes me look worse, and also him because we both should have known better and believe me I do blame myself as I am usually 100% responsible. I know I can't rely on the pull out method and I no way intended to use this method until this mistake happened . I should have checked 100% But i thought after voicing that we needed to use something That he wouldn't th n go and stick it in without despite my bad judgement. I promise you cannot trust men in the heat of passion to do the right thing AT ALL -- or yourself but you're your best hope. But this is another case for staying on birth control yourself, but that only solves half the problem, because disease is a very real threat and if he's sleeping with you unprotected, he's slept with other unprotected. I was in my late 30s when that guy did it to me. It's so selfish and disrespectful. He's not a good guy. 1
Chabela Posted August 3, 2017 Posted August 3, 2017 Wow, I'm sure you are not pregnant. But the issue here is the fact that, especially if this was the first time, that he didn't use a condom! And how can you believe that he used them with his previous partners. That's a load of crap right there! He showed no respect for neither yours or his body. I would dump him.
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