Baz Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 I'll probably get told off for this because I posted this in another forum but the response was bad so i'll try here instead! Anyway, I Need advice. Met a girl in a different country. We hit it off but we were with other partners. She eventually leaves her bloke and I soon follow. We have a two year relationship meeting at weekends whenever we can. During that time some weird stuff happens. Anyway, December last year she wants out. I suspected she had been having second thoughts re her ex but she said not. I have not seen her since but on four seperate occasions since then she has contacted me and tried to keep in touch. Twice it got to the point where we agreed to meet again but she cancelled both times. I have never initiated contact, it is always her. I do miss her and would love to meet her again but at the same time I am moving on. Anyway just recently she has started texting me again asking how I am and what I am doing and signing off with a "hug". I am acting aloof but polite because I dont want to get hurt again. My question is - what is she doing? Also, is there anything I can do to influence how she feels about me so that she wants to see me again? With your help I think I might give it one last go to bring this baby down! Thx
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 1. My question is - what is she doing? 2. Also, is there anything I can do to influence how she feels about me so that she wants to see me again? 1. Keeping her options open with you. Be forewarned though, that opening a door doesn't mean you are always going to walk through it. 2. No. Well, sort of... if you want to see where this goes, you will have to continue to let her set the pace. Don't give out any emotional stuff that she isn't giving to you. Keep all your emails, messages, etc. the same length and tone as the ones she is sending you. Think 'mirror' - just return to her what she gives to you. The second you try to push, or express your own needs - she will bolt on you again. Understand that this is a very one-sided thing. If you can handle that, and force yourself to put your needs aside to make sure she doesn't run away again - then proceed with caution. If you don't want to expose yourself to any new hurts, then don't allow any new contacts. Just block every method of communication she has with you, write her off, and work on getting your head and heart back together for someone you won't have to walk on eggshells with. Someone who wants to be with you, and not someone who has to be coaxed back into seeing you.
Author Baz Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 Excellent thx. When you say "options open" does that mean that she wants to play the field? She tells me she still feels "poor" ie hasn't fully recovered from her issues etc. Should I take that at face value? Also, my ex ex has just moved back to my town and my ex knows this. Would this be why she has suddenly broken her silence? She announced on sunday that she has gone off to Turkey for a week why would she tell me that? She also has started ending her texts with "hug" - Why's that. Should I text her or just respond to her texts? Lastly, im being aloof, polite, non emotional, supportive and friendly. Nothing heavy just polite and fun but mysterious - is that ok. ta
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