CasualDude10 Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 What things do men do that turn women off? -besides the obvious like not take care of their selves, act immature, etc. I have been on a recent struggle as to why some women cut it off with me, mainly the ones I am attracted to. I am starting to think that I am doing something that turns them off although they all show (most say) they are attracted to me, but then just go ghost. I have read up on some things and have tried a number of routes. Some people say that you should not carry out conversations on the phone and should only use it to set dates. Others say "yeah talk to them as long as they engage conversation first". I am only 22 and tend to only date girls between the ages 19-23 so maybe its just they are immature and unsure, but then again who knows lol Thanks on advance!
kendahke Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Go too fast with the "living in the future" line of talking. 1
Author CasualDude10 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Posted July 30, 2017 Go too fast with the "living in the future" line of talking. So saying stuff like "we'll go here in the future" or talking about the next time you hangout, or stuff along those lines?
Bastile Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 You didn't make the move quick enough; You made the move too fast. You texted too much; You texted too little. etc etc. It's all a numbers game, young man. Try your routines to see which gives you the best results. Keep experimenting and having fun. But never stress over women. Good lord, never stress. 1
Author CasualDude10 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Posted July 30, 2017 You didn't make the move quick enough; You made the move too fast. You texted too much; You texted too little. etc etc. It's all a numbers game, young man. Try your routines to see which gives you the best results. Keep experimenting and having fun. But never stress over women. Good lord, never stress. Not stressing, just trying to learn and figure stuff out. Thanks for the advice, and more viewpoints would be great!
carhill Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 When I'm not naturally annoying enough and want to annoy a woman I talk to myself. It works every time. Another thing women generally don't like, from a sexual attraction standpoint, is chatty men. It's OK to chat a bit after the oxytocin bonding through sex is achieved but it's generally a turnoff prior. However, it is a good way to be placed in the 'brother-zone' if one doesn't mind that. Lastly, the self-absorbed male who isn't JFK. It's OK to be self-absorbed when everyone loves you and wants to wipe your feet and have your babies but otherwise, turn-off. OP, IMO if you're interacting with women who consistently initially give appearances of liking you and being sexually attracted to you and then they disappear, it's gotta be something about your personality or actions, or the women you are picking to ask out on dates. When young, my major downfall was being too 'friendly'. The women I approached found that to be a turnoff. Not 'male' enough to stimulate their loins. Once I fixed that and got more aggressive sexually, dating improved markedly. Keep trying different stuff and see what sticks. If you didn't get the mating and dating gene and girlfriends from a young age it'll likely be a tough slog but you'll get there. What remains is whether it's worth it or not. On the other end of life, having done it all, I ponder that some evenings when typing posts like this. 1
Miss Spider Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 (edited) Not sure of themselves, hesitation, overthinking. Very obvious when a guy is thinking too much and trying to hard. Like a text message example: Guy: So I had to get another pizza from xxxxxx yesterday, haha. How was your time off? Girl: looks good! It's been great. How've you been? Guy: It WAS! I just ate the rest of it. Like a fatty. I'm good though, thank you! I didn't want to bother you while you were on vacation. Did you end up kayaking? That sounds like so much fun! -doesn't give chance to respond- Guy: Hey, have you seen Spiderman? I haven't seen it yet. Just saying �� Girl: We actually didn't get to do that go kayaking! And no I have not seen it Guy : There's a really nice theater at the xxxxxx IMAX We'll have to come up with a day and time Note all the exclamation marks, verbosity, smiley faces, fact that he isn't even asking out he's making her plan it because he's unsure of himself? Yea turn off. Just ask the chick out say hey would you like to see a movie with me at x place at x day x time. Bye: Edited July 30, 2017 by Cookiesandough
Boymomma Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 1. Talking about sex too much before you've actually had sex. 2. Asking for and/or sending dirty/sexy pictures that were not requested 3. Texting too much/too little 4. Not calling 5. Cancelling last minute without rescheduling 6. Complaining about themselves or their bodies to try to get me to compliment them (super annoying) 7. Making future plans too early in the dating process (i.e. "It would be so awesome to go camping for the weekend, since we both love it!"-said on like the 2nd date) 8. Not having an outside life or interests 2
Boymomma Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 When I'm not naturally annoying enough and want to annoy a woman I talk to myself. It works every time. Another thing women generally don't like, from a sexual attraction standpoint, is chatty men. It's OK to chat a bit after the oxytocin bonding through sex is achieved but it's generally a turnoff prior. However, it is a good way to be placed in the 'brother-zone' if one doesn't mind that. Lastly, the self-absorbed male who isn't JFK. It's OK to be self-absorbed when everyone loves you and wants to wipe your feet and have your babies but otherwise, turn-off. OP, IMO if you're interacting with women who consistently initially give appearances of liking you and being sexually attracted to you and then they disappear, it's gotta be something about your personality or actions, or the women you are picking to ask out on dates. When young, my major downfall was being too 'friendly'. The women I approached found that to be a turnoff. Not 'male' enough to stimulate their loins. Once I fixed that and got more aggressive sexually, dating improved markedly. Keep trying different stuff and see what sticks. If you didn't get the mating and dating gene and girlfriends from a young age it'll likely be a tough slog but you'll get there. What remains is whether it's worth it or not. On the other end of life, having done it all, I ponder that some evenings when typing posts like this. Omg carhill. Nice to see you after all these years! This is right on the money. My old name will probably right abell-Lauriebell15
rushed Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 * Sexual talk way too soon * Unsolicited d pics * Too clingy/needy (e.g. "Why haven't you texted me back?" "If you don't want to talk to me just tell me." etc.) * Too pushy (e.g. "Come on, let's meet already!") * Only talking about himself. Very few questions asked about the other person. * Bragging * Boring (e.g. No sense of humor. Texts usually just say, "What's up?" or "Hi, how are you?") 1
Boymomma Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 * Boring (e.g. No sense of humor. Texts usually just say, "What's up?" or "Hi, how are you?") Bingo!!! Hate this! I cant stand when guys cant carry on a conversation. 1
carhill Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 OP, what I've noticed consistently over the decades is, if conversation and natural banter and physical interaction doesn't flow right away, after all the initial OK to go on sight stuff is out of the way, then little progress is made. Some people call that 'chemistry'. It's there with some people and not there with others. If it's there, that doesn't mean anything like dating or mating will come of it, rather the potential is there. If not, IME women would rather watch paint dry or grass grow than go on a date with a guy like that. No harm, no foul, just a miss. OP, has a woman ever asked you on a date? If so, how did that go? What was your response and how did the interaction go?
Author CasualDude10 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Posted July 30, 2017 Bingo!!! Hate this! I cant stand when guys cant carry on a conversation. lol then what should a guy say to start the convo then
Author CasualDude10 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Posted July 30, 2017 OP, what I've noticed consistently over the decades is, if conversation and natural banter and physical interaction doesn't flow right away, after all the initial OK to go on sight stuff is out of the way, then little progress is made. Some people call that 'chemistry'. It's there with some people and not there with others. If it's there, that doesn't mean anything like dating or mating will come of it, rather the potential is there. If not, IME women would rather watch paint dry or grass grow than go on a date with a guy like that. No harm, no foul, just a miss. OP, has a woman ever asked you on a date? If so, how did that go? What was your response and how did the interaction go? I have been asked but not by the women i am attracted to, so therefore i didnt go on them.
TheFinalWord Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 (edited) What things do men do that turn women off? -besides the obvious like not take care of their selves, act immature, etc. I have been on a recent struggle as to why some women cut it off with me, mainly the ones I am attracted to. I am starting to think that I am doing something that turns them off although they all show (most say) they are attracted to me, but then just go ghost. I have read up on some things and have tried a number of routes. Some people say that you should not carry out conversations on the phone and should only use it to set dates. Others say "yeah talk to them as long as they engage conversation first". I am only 22 and tend to only date girls between the ages 19-23 so maybe its just they are immature and unsure, but then again who knows lol Thanks on advance! Some of it is age. Women in that age range tend to receive a lot of male attention. I would only talk for long periods of time on the phone with a girlfriend or if you are in a LDR. If she is local, go out with her. I'm not sure what conversations you are having that leads a girl to say she's attracted to you. In terms of what turns them off, those types of conversations sound like you're in the friend zone. If she is attracted to you, she won't need to say it, as you will have physical contact. Actions speak louder than words. While it can be hurtful, if a girl is ghosting, it's ultimately for the best as she is showing she has no respect for you. Edited July 30, 2017 by TheFinalWord 1
The411 Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 CasualDude, The root of all men's problems comes down to failing to act like a man. To be fair women in the 19-22 age group can be extremely flighty, flakey, immature so there will be a higher frequency of failure for things that are not your fault. What do I mean by acting like a man? Acting like a man is simply acting with masculine behaviors. Seems ridiculously simple obvious doesn't it? And yet, these forums are littered with posts from guys who are acting like little boys, little girls, etc. Being a man means understanding that men and women are different and not equal. I've always cringed at the team equal when applying the term equal to men and women because as humans we are equal in that human = human but male =! female. This distinction is important because being a man means that you own your behavior and you don't apologize for it. (There are exceptions of course). When you are attracted to a woman, your job is show a woman that you want to have sex with her and that you understand the rules of courtship and how to follow them so that the woman you are attracted to will have sex with you. The reason most men fail is based on the following: 1. Not being aggressive enough 2. Being too eager/needy 3. Putting a woman on a pedestal 4. Not listening 5. Not filtering out the wrong woman. Being a man is about being aggressive. Try to think of time when you were competing with other people and you ended up winning because you wanted it more. You may or may not have been the most talented competitor but your sheer desire was the difference maker. It is much more difficult to be too aggressive with a woman than too passive. Keep in mind there is subtext here. You can't exactly club a woman and drag her back to your cave, but you'd be shocked at what you can do and say and be successful with when you mix in a bit of cheekiness. The fastest way to kill a woman's attraction is to come off as desparate and needy. "Desperation is a stinky cologne" Woman are remarkable at sniffing out neediness in fact they are so good you'd swear they've got a neediness homing beacon attached to needy guys. Being a man is about working on goals, career aspirations, passions etc. Relationships with women should be a compliment to you life not the focus. It goes both ways. Ever been with a girl who seemed like she cling to you like glue and never gave you a chance to hang with your buddies or go do things alone? It might be cute for a little bit but eventually it gets irritating. The same goes for women. They lose attraction when a guy doesn't have his own life and focuses on her. Pedestaling women happens so often it so be taught as part of the health class curriculum in high school as part of the what not to do to with women. Women are just regular people, yet when a woman is quite attractive guys think that her poop smells like roses and her vajayjay is magical. I hate to disappoint but poop always smells like poop and no vajayjay is magical. If you want to see this in action find the hottest girl you know and ask her about the craziest things guys have bought her/done for her. (Note don't let her convince you to buy her anything). Every guy has been guilty of not listening to a woman. I mean c'mon we're guys we can fix anything right? Wrong, women don't want men to come up with solutions. Women want to know if a guy pays attention to her and doesn't spend his time with her hogging all the talking time. Let a woman talk and ask her questions. Again you can kill attraction right quick by monopolizing the conversation. So you get a woman and you think she's interested and so you're getting excited and she's reciprocating, but after a while seems harder to get a hold of she's not initiating much or at all. Or alternatively you meet a girl who you find is attractive and she's all over you like a cheap suit begs to meet your friends after one date. Welcome to getting involved with the wrong woman. A basic rule of thumb is that if a woman likes you she's going to make things easy for you and won't confuse you. If you find that you are dating a woman that makes things difficult or confusing you are dating the wrong woman. If you find that a woman has more red flags then Chinese Independence Day you are dating the wrong woman. As a man you should always be willing and ready to walk away from a woman. We get limited time on this Earth so why waste it on someone who will never change and will never treat you as a valued partner. 2
Bastile Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Not stressing, just trying to learn and figure stuff out. Thanks for the advice, and more viewpoints would be great! Everyone has a game, and will insist that their game is the best. This especially happens around a group of ladies men. That might have been why you've heard all sorts of different conflicting advice. Naturally, I would think my ideas are the best too Really, you need to find your own way. So, I'll tell you how to do that. When I started making a real effort on this part of my life, I realized that I needed volume. To get volume, you need a hustle. That can be online dating apps, or meeting women on the streets, or in clubs, etc. The reason volume is important is because you want to be experimenting with ideas - without the fear of losing any one woman. You want to be free to take risks and find your way. You are only in your early 20's. Don't even consider settling down. Take exclusivity off of the table for 2 years. You'll learn an amazing amount in doing so. Enjoy yourself. Don't lie to anyone about it, becoming a dirty weasel cheat. But don't rub it in their faces, either. Be discreet. Don't take any of it serious, and consider it one massive fun experiment. Soon enough, you'll be one of those guys at the discussion telling everyone else best practice 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 1. Inconsistency. Starting strong and suddenly waning. 2. Lack of imagination, romance. Related to #1.
rightondude Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 I am an expert in turning off women. Sure fire ways to do it: 1) be smothering 2) be whiny 3) be needy 4) play the "if I don't talk to her she'll be curious why and reach out to me instead" game 5) offer to take care of (all) her problems 6) be hesitant to try new things (be boring) 7) have no life outside of work 8) talk like you're owed something just by virtue of being a "good guy" that's just for starters. There's several other effective ways to do so. 1
SevenCity Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Your post said you turn off the girls you like. Simple answer is to act the same way with the girls you like as the girls you don't like.
mortensorchid Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Here are a few things that instantly turn me off about a man: 1) Talking sexual too quickly 2) Not taking no for an answer (be it the sex talk or things in general) 3) Be needy 4) Think only of themselves and not others in small ways 5) Be stingy (with money) 6) Always have a reason/excuse as to why something can't be done (in general not just about things related to women) In general that's what turns me off about men. 2
GemmaUK Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 I am an expert in turning off women. Sure fire ways to do it: 1) be smothering 2) be whiny 3) be needy 4) play the "if I don't talk to her she'll be curious why and reach out to me instead" game 5) offer to take care of (all) her problems 6) be hesitant to try new things (be boring) 7) have no life outside of work 8) talk like you're owed something just by virtue of being a "good guy" that's just for starters. There's several other effective ways to do so. Yeah, that's a few of 'em to be honest. Plus blaming others for just about everything - work, family, anything that hasn't worked out good. This is a massive red flag to me. Then also when they try too hard and forsake any sense of humour. Although, sense of humour is often not actually ever there with that 'self proclaimed' nice guy. 1
preraph Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Even when I was a champagne lush myself, I didn't like guys who were never seen without a beer in their hand. I also hate grown guys who still act like frat boys or guys who are idiots about sports. I was an idiot about music, so I'm not saying I'm not a hypocrite, only what I don't like. I don't like a guy who's gross. I don't like a guy who clams up and especially acts sullen trying to get their way or digs in like a spoiled five year old, but I've never let one like that even get in my door, really, and only seen it with my girlfriends' choices. I hate a guy who can't say anything without it carrying sexual innuendo, lecher types. How gross is that going to be later if it's already gross now. I was never too judgy about a guy's clothing as long as it FIT. I love long hair but I don't like long unstyled hair (a good cut). It just looks hobo-ish. I mean, there was a lot of that in my hippie days, but that's because it was kind of a first and it took awhile for guys to learn what to do with it.
Steve51 Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 The number one thing is sending them dick pics followed by looking at other girls rather than the one you are with and being a total jerk. Those are the top three. 2
spiderowl Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Lack of personal hygiene is a big thing that turns me off. Not smelling clean, bad breath, failing to freshen up during the day after exercise or eating. Domineering or controlling behaviour. Yes it is nice if he takes the lead sometimes but always assuming it or telling me what to do is not fun. Sexual comments or everything geared towards that so he is incapable of seeing the person. Gets pretty tedious. Criticism - I'm sure most women are looking for someone kind, protective, supportive and caring, not critical. Trying to be too controlling about who she sees or are talking to from the start. Starting dating is getting to know the other person, not taking over their lives.
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