deesw8 Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 I have been thinking a lot about this guy, whom I met just over a month ago. He has already indicated interest over an email. I'm confused because I was thinking of rekindling something with a past acquitance whom is back in town, whom is someone I had a crush on for years... Now, This new person came into the picture all of a blue, and he is not the typical type of guy I normally like-in fact, very far from it; yet I don't know why I feel both a physical attraction and personality attraction to him. I in fact try to fight it very bad...I know it sounds strange but I am not ready to be over with my past crush yet, and I intellectually know I can do better than this new guy (with my looks, job etc), though I know it's kind of mean to say it. What should I do?
d0nnivain Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 Because you think you can "do better" don't date this guy. You think he's beneath you & that is not a healthy foundation for a relationship; at best it's settling. Before you said that I was going to suggest you give it a try. Especially if he's against type, the change may be good for you. To date dating your type hasn't worked out so doing something different may have caused better results. 4
Simple Logic Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 I have been thinking a lot about this guy, whom I met just over a month ago. He has already indicated interest over an email. I'm confused because I was thinking of rekindling something with a past acquitance whom is back in town, whom is someone I had a crush on for years... Now, This new person came into the picture all of a blue, and he is not the typical type of guy I normally like-in fact, very far from it; yet I don't know why I feel both a physical attraction and personality attraction to him. I in fact try to fight it very bad...I know it sounds strange but I am not ready to be over with my past crush yet, and I intellectually know I can do better than this new guy (with my looks, job etc), though I know it's kind of mean to say it. What should I do? You do realize dating is an experiment. Date both, you may kick both to the curb in the end. 3
smackie9 Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 You date as many as you want, no one said you had to choose at this time. 2
maxi105 Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 looks and job may be important to you, but is someone that might be good for you as important. if so? why not give them a chance. maybe if you spend a little time together you might get a better idea of how compatible you are (or are not).but at least if it doesn't work you can stop pining or fooling yourself that there can be more together. this person has got you thinking and it sounds like that is making you think about him and therefore you are finding him that bit more attractive: but if he has got you thinking about him as you say he has, then maybe he is not that bad looking or is not that unintelligent either? only you know that...just be sure it is not just flattery that is making you attracted to him and get too carried away flirting when in reality you are not that interested back - especially as you already know he likes you! because that "would" be really mean of you!!!! love doesn't always fit into neat liitle packages or offer the promises or imagined/hoped for partners. what is it that you like about the new one, what is it that you like about the old one. don't waste time trying to tell the right one how you feel otherwise you might end up with neither one. maybe the fact that you are fighting how you feel is a sign you ought to at least give the new one a chance to spend a bit of time with you. did you ever go out with the old one socially and if so are you sure they would want to actually go out with you now, are they single even? I don't mean that in a rude way, I'm just asking if there was a spark there with the old one, and if so how long have you been thinking about asking the old one for a date or night out etc. does the old on have a good job and is good looking? what is it that you don't want to give up on the old one yet? are they nice people? can you talk to them with ease? ok, that's my small thought on it. good luck:) maxi.
Imajerk17 Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 (edited) Should you date this guy.....so, you're asking US to decide? On such little information too? Tell you what OP I'll flip a coin for you. I just always find it bizarre that people trust complete strangers on the Internet--going by only one paragraph of information too--to make their life decisions for them. Edited July 30, 2017 by Imajerk17
Miss Spider Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Don't date him if you think you can do better..if you get in deep with him you'll have that nagging voice in the back of your mind say 'You can probably do better than this guy' nope. Not gonna end well
TheFinalWord Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 I have been thinking a lot about this guy, whom I met just over a month ago. He has already indicated interest over an email. I'm confused because I was thinking of rekindling something with a past acquitance whom is back in town, whom is someone I had a crush on for years... Now, This new person came into the picture all of a blue, and he is not the typical type of guy I normally like-in fact, very far from it; yet I don't know why I feel both a physical attraction and personality attraction to him. I in fact try to fight it very bad...I know it sounds strange but I am not ready to be over with my past crush yet, and I intellectually know I can do better than this new guy (with my looks, job etc), though I know it's kind of mean to say it. What should I do? Opposites attract. My mom and dad are total opposites, but just celebrated their (multi-decade) anniversary. Looks and career aren't everything. IMHO its better to find someone that cares about you, interested in you, and is willing to compromise. Yes, physical attraction should be there, but sometimes we are physically attracted to someone that doesn't make sense. That's just called life throwing you a curve ball. Why can't you go out with both? I'm not saying to get physical or anything, but would going on a few dates hurt anything?
The411 Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Don't date him if you think you can do better..if you get in deep with him you'll have that nagging voice in the back of your mind say 'You can probably do better than this guy' nope. Not gonna end well Going to disagree here. Understand that dating a guy doesn't mean you have to commit to him. Doing better is cutting off someone who might be a great fit for you. With that being said if doing better means he's a dope fiend, ex-con etc. then you have a good reason to think that dating him isn't prudent, but if it is an issue of looks money etc. you are probably going to struggle because having impossibly high standards will keep you alone.
coolheadal Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 I have been thinking a lot about this guy, whom I met just over a month ago. He has already indicated interest over an email. I'm confused because I was thinking of rekindling something with a past acquitance whom is back in town, whom is someone I had a crush on for years... Now, This new person came into the picture all of a blue, and he is not the typical type of guy I normally like-in fact, very far from it; yet I don't know why I feel both a physical attraction and personality attraction to him. I in fact try to fight it very bad...I know it sounds strange but I am not ready to be over with my past crush yet, and I intellectually know I can do better than this new guy (with my looks, job etc), though I know it's kind of mean to say it. What should I do? What I don't get is the fact you already answered your question! Don't settle and don't make this harder for you than it is... 1
Miss Spider Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 (edited) Going to disagree here. Understand that dating a guy doesn't mean you have to commit to him. Doing better is cutting off someone who might be a great fit for you. With that being said if doing better means he's a dope fiend, ex-con etc. then you have a good reason to think that dating him isn't prudent, but if it is an issue of looks money etc. you are probably going to struggle because having impossibly high standards will keep you alone. That she feels like she can do better than this guy is the kicker for me because every time I have thought that to myself it's because I knew the guy was not as good as what I could typically get even if he was attractive/nice. So I did not pursue for his sake. Yes. it is for superficial reasons. I don't think you should date someone you feel that way about because I don't believe those superficial reasons will go away( I am assuming they are superficial because she said she is intellectually and physically attracted to him) I believe if anything the more comfortable and deeper you get in with the guy, the more appealing other options look, what you could have had and missed out on for him, the more discontent. Some women even check out of the relationship, leave, cheat right about that time or when something better comes along. Not saying it has to lead to commitment but that is most likely what she's ultimately looking for Edited July 30, 2017 by Cookiesandough
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