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Posted

I've skimmed through several threads after reading through the arguments on my "she didn't mention boyfriend" thread.

 

It seems like there is always one piece of critical information missing from every thread: are you and the person you are interested in good looking? If so, HOW good looking?

 

There is some subjectivity and variation from city to city, so ask yourself a few basic questions:

 

1. are you approached? If so, how often.

 

2. do people (strangers) linger in your presence? If so, how many people, and for how long?

 

3. do people pay you compliments on your appearance? If so, how often?

 

4. do people regularly stare? If so, how many people and for how long?

 

5. do people give you contact information without your asking?

 

6. are people quick to forgive or laugh off minor social errors?

 

7. do people tease you and joke with you?

 

 

The more questions you can answer 'yes' to, and with a higher number, the greater your chances will be that the answer is 'yes' to the main question people are asking on this forum: "is he or she interested?"

 

It seems obvious then, that the fastest, most efficient, surest way of garnering attraction is to work on your appearance and your physical fitness.

 

The higher you are on the attractiveness scale, and the closer you get to the apex, the greater your options will be.

 

If you choose to ignore this most obvious of principles, the more difficulty, confusion, stress and rejection you will experience in the dating process. Conversely, the better looking you are, the more ease, clarity and success you will find in the dating process.

 

Your appearance and physical fitness are not the ONLY factors you need to work on, but they are the MOST IMPORTANT.

 

If few or no women show interest in you, and you

a) are overweight

b) have bad skin

c) lack muscle tone or definition

d) dress sloppily

e) have some other physical, visible problem

f) some combination of the above

 

Then try clearing up these problems. You will find the women who showed lukewarm or zero interest will magically become much more interested. Maybe not all of them but the percentage will increase significantly. And word will get around about your transformation making it easier to meet new women.

  • Like 1
Posted

You should want to look good for yourself firstly. If you're putting in effort for someone else then you're missing the point because you live with you 100% of the time....others will come and go but you will always have yourself to rely on.

 

Be your own best friend

  • Author
Posted

There is one additional factor to mention when evaluating appearance: youthfulness. This is a critical factor in evaluating your attractiveness rating.

 

Women in their late teens and early 20's are the most attractive.

 

Men, however, can remain physically attractive not just years, but even decades longer. Some signs of aging can even be considered in men (salt and pepper hair or a few wrinkles as a sign of distinctiveness).

 

Women have a window of opportunity therefore, which is far narrower. If she does not marry in the first third of her life, her dating value drops precipitously. Her dating pool gets smaller and smaller with each passing year after this 'first third.'

 

As an example, a woman who is 30+ can expand her pool quantitatively, but not qualitatively. That means, in order to keep her pool large, she must include more and more men who are socially and/or physically undesirable.

 

That means she will flirt with physically unattractive men or socially awkward men to create the appearance (some would say illusion) of dating value in the numerical or statistical sense, but she still will not be able to generate interest from high value men: ie good looking, socially confident men (yes, there is a huge overlap).

 

If a woman does not get married by her late 20's or early 30's, she will enter a twilight zone of frustration. Ironically, by her mid 30's or even early 40's, women of average or above average attractiveness can attract MANY men. However, these men will almost never be good looking, or at least socially confident. These men will almost uniformly be below average in looks and confidence.

 

This is why the cosmetics and diet industries are so popular. They hide or at least claim to hide or even (ostensibly) reverse, signs of aging.

 

The bottom line is that women have far less time to find an ideal attractive mate: good looking, confident, high social status (income, occupation, family in good social standing). This means a few things:

 

1. women must focus on and maintain their appearance starting at a very early age. There is a hard and fast timeline within which to get married to a high status male.

 

2. after the ideal window of opportunity passes, she will have access to far fewer high status prospects. This likely means she will have to string along MANY lower status men to create the artificial appearance of a large dating pool. However, she will be constantly frustrated and angry by all of the low status, low value men in her life. Ironically, it is she herself who has created this pool in order to create the same large dating pool she enjoyed in her late teens/early 20's. But the same pool quantitatively is not the same pool qualitatively.

 

The message is very clear:

1. max out your physical attractiveness early.

2. date often

3. MARRY when you have found a partner of the same or of higher dating value (by 30 if you are a woman, later if you are a man).

 

4. all rules fly out the window for outlier cases (miss america, miss universe, billionaire teenager), which as a general rule of thumb by definition apply only to a few cases.

  • Like 1
Posted

What if as a male, you dress well - typical fitted jeans and tshirt, are physically fit, above average height, have good skin and haircut, talk well, and generally look good.. but still don't get approached?

Posted
What if as a male, you dress well - typical fitted jeans and tshirt, are physically fit, above average height, have good skin and haircut, talk well, and generally look good.. but still don't get approached?

 

It's about presence. Show us a video and we'll give you our opinion ;). Just kidding....but it is about presence and the energy you give off.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
What if as a male, you dress well - typical fitted jeans and tshirt, are physically fit, above average height, have good skin and haircut, talk well, and generally look good.. but still don't get approached?

 

That's a good question. Being approached is just 1 of the multiple criteria you can use to assess attractiveness.

 

The more questions you can answer 'yes' to, the higher you are (generally speaking) on the attractiveness scale. Of course, if you are a hermit and never interact with anyone or go out to social events, you can't use the scale.

 

So let's say there are two guys (or two gals) who go out to the same social event, stay for the same amount of time, are both sociable, both dressed fashionably etc, then obviously the more attractive guys and gals will receive more attention.

 

If you don't go out and can't use the sociability scale I posted, here's another test: take a look in the mirror!

Posted

Not miss universe or teenage billionaire ? but I happen to attract much more quality men in my 30s. Reasons:

 

1) I was not dating in my 20s. I didn't have social circle to pool from because I was in school/lab 95% of my awake hours

 

2) Men that I'm attracted to (generally nerdy, quirky type) - same story. They were not yet actively dating in their teens/20s because of other responsibilities

 

3) I look better! Sure youthful appeal is gone but I know how to style, use high-end cosmetics and wear brands that I couldn't dream of in my 20s

 

4) I'm way more confident now, I'm not (that) scared of being approached and reciprocate

 

5) My circles generally consist of professionals that I wouldn't cross paths in my 20s

 

The only con for women about dating later in life is the obvious one: the short fertility window. The rest is urban legends.

  • Like 6
  • Author
Posted

Interesting response.

 

Generally, nerdy, eccentric men are lower on the PAS scale (average or below average in physical attractiveness).

 

As a result, nerdy/eccentrics will have to go for less physically attractive women, i.e., women in their 30's and 40's, or women in their 20's who are average or below average in attractiveness. Multi billionaire Mark Zuckerberg married a rather plain looking woman for example despite being one of the wealthiest men in the world.

 

In other words, I would say your 'success' conforms to the dating model I have outlined: looks and age are determinants of success or lack thereof.

 

It's quite likely that those average or below average in attractiveness on both sides will gravitate towards another.

 

They can also boost their value slightly by wearing nicer clothes, wearing a lot of makeup on the women's side vs. offering financial stability on the men's side (nerdy men who have good paying jobs).

Posted

You seriously think Mark couldn't land a drop dead gorgeous young woman if he chose so? :lmao:

  • Like 3
Posted

If you're this huge authority of attractiveness then what are you doing posting your wisdom on a relationship forum on a Friday night in summertime?

  • Like 4
Posted
Generally, nerdy, eccentric men are lower on the PAS scale (average or below average in physical attractiveness).

 

As a result, nerdy/eccentrics will have to go for less physically attractive women, i.e., women in their 30's and 40's, or women in their 20's who are average or below average in attractiveness. Multi billionaire Mark Zuckerberg married a rather plain looking woman for example despite being one of the wealthiest men in the world.

 

I wouldn't say this is entirely accurate, as men who are not physically attractive can attract physically attractive women by showing off other attractive characteristics, and vice versa.

Posted
If you're this huge authority of attractiveness then what are you doing posting your wisdom on a relationship forum on a Friday night in summertime?

 

:lmao::love::D

  • Like 3
Posted

As a result, nerdy/eccentrics will have to go for less physically attractive women, i.e., women in their 30's and 40's, or women in their 20's who are average or below average in attractiveness. Multi billionaire Mark Zuckerberg married a rather plain looking woman for example despite being one of the wealthiest men in the world.

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

You are joking right? That some beautiful gold digger wouldn't be willing to marry him because he is "nerdy"?! :laugh:

 

What about these men? A list of the richest in America... most of their wives are quite "plain". Is that because they were too "nerdy" to get a "hot" wife despite their billions? Or could it be that these successful men value MORE than just a nice body and face on someone they are going to share their life with?

 

Jeff Bezos:

http://elitechoice.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/mackenzie_bezos.jpg

 

Warren Buffet

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/01/13/article-2086406-0F734EFF00000578-879_468x382.jpg

 

Bill Gates:

http://media2.s-nbcnews.com/i/streams/2013/January/130130/1B5790255-tdy-130130-billmelindagates-1-930a.jpg

 

Michael Bloomberg:

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2269825.1435173213!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_1200/mike.jpg

 

Serge Brin:

http://tech.pnosker.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Sergey-Brin-Wife.jpg

 

Sheldon Adelson:

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2014/09/18/ap404573130152_wide-840f417225460e9b19f533267486a35c7707132d.jpg?s=1400

  • Like 3
Posted

Well I find nerdy men very attractive but even abstracting from that - there are some very good looking nerds, sorry to break the bubble but there are physically attractive nerds and bad looking mentally challenged dudes, there is no correlation IQ/physical attractiveness.

 

Plus sorry to brag but I'm lucky to be passing on most societal norms for attractiveness so I have no worries for my own appearance :lmao:

 

Oh and don't forget women can provide financial stability too and guys can dress up /groom. Your model is flawed :p

 

Interesting response.

 

Generally, nerdy, eccentric men are lower on the PAS scale (average or below average in physical attractiveness).

 

As a result, nerdy/eccentrics will have to go for less physically attractive women, i.e., women in their 30's and 40's, or women in their 20's who are average or below average in attractiveness. Multi billionaire Mark Zuckerberg married a rather plain looking woman for example despite being one of the wealthiest men in the world.

 

In other words, I would say your 'success' conforms to the dating model I have outlined: looks and age are determinants of success or lack thereof.

 

It's quite likely that those average or below average in attractiveness on both sides will gravitate towards another.

 

They can also boost their value slightly by wearing nicer clothes, wearing a lot of makeup on the women's side vs. offering financial stability on the men's side (nerdy men who have good paying jobs).

  • Like 1
Posted

As for myself... I am not single... but...

 

I am 38, I take care of my health. I exercise, I am a crazy stickler about sunscreen, and avoiding skin damage... so I am lucky in that my face / body looks quite a bit younger than my years.

 

And I get hit on more these days than ever before. Is it because I look better than I did when I was a 20 something? Mmmm maybe.

 

I have CONFIDENCE now that I didn't used to have. I have embraced SEXY, I know how to give a look that will melt a man. Like No Go mentions I have better style, clothes, hair cuts and make up than I did in my "youth".

 

Also like her, I hob knob in different circles now. Ones full of young, single, highly successful professional men (I split my time between Silicon Valley night life, and events with business professionals - attorneys, investors, finance in San Francisco).

 

I get approached by men with good jobs, great bodies and good looks from their 20's to their 40's.

 

When I was younger I blended in, these days, my confidence, my sexy vibe allow me to work a room.

  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted
:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

You are joking right? That some beautiful gold digger wouldn't be willing to marry him because he is "nerdy"?! :laugh:

 

What about these men? A list of the richest in America... most of their wives are quite "plain". Is that because they were too "nerdy" to get a "hot" wife despite their billions? Or could it be that these successful men value MORE than just a nice body and face on someone they are going to share their life with?

 

Jeff Bezos:

http://elitechoice.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/mackenzie_bezos.jpg

 

Warren Buffet

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/01/13/article-2086406-0F734EFF00000578-879_468x382.jpg

 

Bill Gates:

http://media2.s-nbcnews.com/i/streams/2013/January/130130/1B5790255-tdy-130130-billmelindagates-1-930a.jpg

 

Michael Bloomberg:

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2269825.1435173213!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_1200/mike.jpg

 

Serge Brin:

http://tech.pnosker.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Sergey-Brin-Wife.jpg

 

Sheldon Adelson:

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2014/09/18/ap404573130152_wide-840f417225460e9b19f533267486a35c7707132d.jpg?s=1400

 

Excellent! These examples prove my point perfectly. Average and below average looking men marry average looking or below average looking women despite millions or billions of dollars in wealth.

Posted
:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

You are joking right? That some beautiful gold digger wouldn't be willing to marry him because he is "nerdy"?! :laugh:

 

What about these men? A list of the richest in America... most of their wives are quite "plain". Is that because they were too "nerdy" to get a "hot" wife despite their billions? Or could it be that these successful men value MORE than just a nice body and face on someone they are going to share their life with?

 

Jeff Bezos:

http://elitechoice.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/mackenzie_bezos.jpg

 

Warren Buffet

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/01/13/article-2086406-0F734EFF00000578-879_468x382.jpg

 

Bill Gates:

http://media2.s-nbcnews.com/i/streams/2013/January/130130/1B5790255-tdy-130130-billmelindagates-1-930a.jpg

 

Michael Bloomberg:

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2269825.1435173213!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_1200/mike.jpg

 

Serge Brin:

http://tech.pnosker.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Sergey-Brin-Wife.jpg

 

Sheldon Adelson:

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2014/09/18/ap404573130152_wide-840f417225460e9b19f533267486a35c7707132d.jpg?s=1400

 

Oh Oh Owned !!!

Posted (edited)
Excellent! These examples prove my point perfectly. Average and below average looking men marry average looking or below average looking women despite millions or billions of dollars in wealth.

 

What about Richard Branson?:

https://images.successstory.com/img_people/family/620Xauto/richard57_1462959047.jpg

 

Okay so they have to be a HOT billionaire. Got it.

 

What if they are hot with no billions?

 

And where does your expertise derive from?

Edited by RecentChange
Posted
Excellent! These examples prove my point perfectly. Average and below average looking men marry average looking or below average looking women despite millions or billions of dollars in wealth.

 

Excuse me but our President is an orange out of shape old person but his wife is very attractive.

 

How do you explain that?

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted
Well I find nerdy men very attractive but even abstracting from that - there are some very good looking nerds, sorry to break the bubble but there are physically attractive nerds and bad looking mentally challenged dudes, there is no correlation IQ/physical attractiveness.

 

Plus sorry to brag but I'm lucky to be passing on most societal norms for attractiveness so I have no worries for my own appearance :lmao:

 

Oh and don't forget women can provide financial stability too and guys can dress up /groom. Your model is flawed :p

 

1. Most engineers and gamers are male, nerdy and average or below on the PAS. There are exceptions, but it is not true for the vast majority.

 

2. You can provide for a woman financially but this does not translate into physical/sexual attraction. A wealthy average or below average looking man who marries a hot wife has less leverage, has to invest more, and is more likely to be cheated on. Don't ask me how I know.

 

3. You can dress and groom yourself well, but they can only go so far. You can still tell the difference between, say, Rosie O'Donnell and Miss Universe even if both are dressed and groomed to a 't'.

  • Author
Posted
As for myself... I am not single... but...

 

I am 38, I take care of my health. I exercise, I am a crazy stickler about sunscreen, and avoiding skin damage... so I am lucky in that my face / body looks quite a bit younger than my years.

 

And I get hit on more these days than ever before. Is it because I look better than I did when I was a 20 something? Mmmm maybe.

 

I have CONFIDENCE now that I didn't used to have. I have embraced SEXY, I know how to give a look that will melt a man. Like No Go mentions I have better style, clothes, hair cuts and make up than I did in my "youth".

 

Also like her, I hob knob in different circles now. Ones full of young, single, highly successful professional men (I split my time between Silicon Valley night life, and events with business professionals - attorneys, investors, finance in San Francisco).

 

I get approached by men with good jobs, great bodies and good looks from their 20's to their 40's.

 

When I was younger I blended in, these days, my confidence, my sexy vibe allow me to work a room.

 

SF is a sexual paradise for women.

 

1. Many, many, many desperate, single, wealthy men.

 

2. A scarce supply of hot women.

 

I understand your situation perfectly.

Posted
Excuse me but our President is an orange out of shape old person but his wife is very attractive.

 

How do you explain that?

 

I think she's "hot", but not particulary pretty, tbh :-)

  • Like 2
Posted

 

You can provide for a woman financially but this does not translate into physical/sexual attraction. A wealthy average or below average looking man who marries a hot wife has less leverage, has to invest more, and is more likely to be cheated on. Don't ask me how I know.

 

 

The last time I heard, Charles was the one who cheated on Diana.

  • Author
Posted
Excuse me but our President is an orange out of shape old person but his wife is very attractive.

 

How do you explain that?

 

Donald Trump has been an alpha male his entire: tall, good looking, intelligent, very wealthy, and very aggressive. Now he is president of the United States.

 

He has upgraded wives every decade or so and kept his billions. Kudos to him. :-)

  • Like 2
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