jerrygordon3 Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 So my last post I posted about a girl who I was dating with two kids who had an amazing qualities and would've made an amazing life but I feel like I kind of hung onto the fact that she had broken up with me and we had been in some fights and kind of talked myself out of the relationship and ended up breaking up with her yesterday. For the last three weeks I've kind of emotionally checked out of the relationship mainly because I struggled with seeing her as a continuous love connection and didn't really see us getting married anymore so she brought it up over text and I confirmed that I've been feeling different so she blocked my number. I think that I'm a nice guy and I work really hard and I have a lot of things on my plate but one thing I don't really focus on is how to better myself as a person so that I can end up in a long-term healthy relationship. Somethings I've noticed about myself though as I vent to off in about my significant other. People have mentioned that I'm all over the place and don't really seem to know what I want. What I do know is that I've been really really in love twice in my life and one of those women was a very unhealthy person. I'm not physically or verbally abusive I don't cheat on every girlfriend I've had although I have cheated. I'm a renounced player I guess you could say and used to sleep around quite a bit. But when I'm in a relationship I'm respectful however it seems to be that all find someone who looks really really good on paper and seems to be a great marriage partner but then I go and break it off with her and I end up in a relationship for two years with an unhealthy person that I love more than I've ever loved anybody . So at this point I'm starting to wonder if I just have really unhealthy traits or should I work on specific areas or am I kind of OK. Is it OK to end a relationship if you have mixed feelings or is it starting to seem like I'm just not a healthy person for relationships. Today I plan on scouring the Internet for information and going in and checking out books at Barnes & Noble's about how to be a healthy person in relationships and have healthy habits and make smart choices because I just feel like I keep getting it wrong. Any advice would be a huge help thank you
leogirl876 Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 It's hard to say based on your post, but in my experience, I'd say learn how to pick a good partner to be in a relationship with. I used to pick people based on attraction and chemistry as being at the top of the list, and never could figure out why I got burned because these people were always wrong for me. Also decide what you want in a partner, and become that person. If you're wanting someone who's got a master's degree but you didn't finish high school, then you might wanna go back to school and get that education. Or if you want someone responsible with money, then get your finances in order, etc. And pick someone based on common background and goals instead of just attraction and chemistry. It's really hard finding someone, someone who has their stuff together, has limited baggage and who you have fun with. If you can't find it, better to be alone then miserable with someone.
Author jerrygordon3 Posted July 28, 2017 Author Posted July 28, 2017 Thank you so much. I'm really having one of those moments where I'm confused and down on myself. Feeling like a screw up cause I'm single and keep breaking up with people.
her2 Posted August 2, 2017 Posted August 2, 2017 Hello jerrygordon, it is quite normal to question yourself after a breakup whether the problem is with you or with your ex(es). And I believe you are doing the right thing by seeking out information and building your character in this aspect. This will help you have healthier relationships in the future. Keep on! All the best, Her
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