KandM73 Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 (edited) I'm so lost on what to do and I'm tired of crying and hurting and trying to figure it out on my own. I hope this forum will give me some type of advice to help. I really need it. To start off my boyfriend and I have been together since highschool, I was 16 and he was 15. When I went to my first year of college he started doing things I didnt like. He would rarely contact me and when he did he would tell me about the drugs he had started doing. Eventually I heard from him less and less and I decided to end it until he could see what he was doing wrong and grow up. Being that it was my first year of college I went to alot of parties and started to hangout with people that brought out the worst in me. I drank alot and ended up not finishing my classes. I was so heartbroken over him not being with me and his drug problem that I started to turn to drinking and other men to get my mind off of him and numb what I was feeling. He was the love of my life for close to 3 years and I didnt understand how he could pick drugs over me. I ended up sleeping with other guys and making bad decisions that I regret but I didn't know how else to get over him and to move on with my life. After I had went thru both semesters of college I decided to take time off and recollect myself back home. We ended up talking again and he had confessed that he was clean now and for me. I told him about what had happened while we were apart and how it was truly the worst time of my life and I mentioned the other men. I'm still the only person he has ever slept with and after telling him this he couldn't even look at me the same anymore. I didn't cheat on him because we werent together but he still acts like thats what I did. He says that he could never even touch another girl after me and he doesnt know how I could do such a thing. I do understand that its hard for him but now its been almost 2 years since then and he still brings it up and says that he will never get over it. He doesnt treat me like he used to, he doesnt want to call or text me, he gets mad at me over the smallest things and can be so rude when he does, he has no trust for me and is always questioning me, he doesnt put me as a priority and worst of all im 6 months pregnant with his baby and he still feels this way about me. I regret what happened in college and I am shameful for letting things happen the way they did but Ive realized I cant take back what happened I can only try to move forward with him and show him I only love and want him. It seems like nothing I do will change his mind or make him love me like he used to. I feel like hes just with me because of the baby sometimes. Please someone tell me what to do. I DO NOT want anyone else and I dont want to break up all I want is our happy little family. I would do anything to have that with him. Edited July 28, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Kellens Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 Hi Kand, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I think your boyfriend's view of you changed and I'm not sure if it can change back. You should be focusing on the well-being of your child right now. If you guys can't be happy in a relationship because of past actions, maybe it's best just to be co-parents. I know this isn't what you want to hear but in my experience you can't revert a relationship or person back to who or what they were before. If you don't think he's with you because he loves you, it will be very painful for you to continue to be with him. Once your child is born, he or she will be able to sense that pain and unhappiness as well.
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