Getting a little weirded out at how much H reiterates just how beautiful his D is!

[Mapper71]

H doesn't see his daughter very often. She's 19 now and lives 3 hours away. Actually we haven't seen her in about 10 months. They are on good terms now, although they went through an extremely rough patch between about 16 and 17.

 

Anyways she put up a new profile pic on Facebook last night and she is pretty in it, but the amount of time he spends saying how beautiful she is and how much she's matured just wigs me out. And when she's here sometimes he will just stare at her and put his hand through her hair and tell her just how pretty she's become and how she'll have to fend off the boys. She even gets weirded out by it and will say "Stop looking at me dad" and he'll go "I'm sorry, I just don't see you very often and you've gotten so pretty". She's gone through several phases. She's been the goth girl who is dressed in all black about 4 years ago, to dressing up as a geisha when we'd go out to, now, someone who is very fashion and makeup conscious.

 

Gee, I wish he's stare at me that way and tell me how beautiful I am!

[AriesDude]

Sounds like you guys need to do lots of outdoor activities as a family.

1. Will get H's mind off of "admiring" his D too much (sounded better in my head) lol

2. Huge personality gap between 16 and 19. She might have changed some perspectives of life a lot, H will need to really get to know her again. Might stop him from making weird future comments.

3. Will give you a chance to hold hands with H more often and see where you guys really stand on the whole "why my H doesnt wanna tell me im pretty" ordeal

 

Hope I helped

[knabe]

You hate your step daughter. You don't like your husband. You don't like your coworkers. You never make any changes.

 

The problem in your life is you.

[JHandy]

Just another way to look at it, your husband may be trying to piece together a 3-year history he wasn't a part of.

 

The daughter went from a goth 16 year old to a 19 year old conventional girl.

 

3 years and a complete change in appearance. She's probably more professional and outgoing. She's a completely different person. I got to believe he's processing.

 

Otherwise it is creepy.

 

I like the first response. Try to normalize things asap. It may help him learn about this new person. He may get a chance to get glimpses of his little girl of long ago.

 

I lost my kids in a divorce for four critical years. It's hard to process the "instant" changes you see after very minimal contact for such a long time.

[Mrs. John Adams]

your husband is amazed...that the same little girl who has gone through many different stages in her appearance has now become a beautiful woman. He missed out on some of the transformation....and he hasn't seen her in 10 months....

 

I dont think he is having inappropriate sexual thoughts about his daughter which is what you seem to be insinuating...

 

and if you expressed to him your concerns...he would probably be hurt and embarressed and then feel guilty about something that he never meant to be an issue.

 

I sometimes stare at my son...and i think what a handsome, good man he has become...so much like his father. I look at him and still can visualize that little tot he was and how much he made me laugh...and the man now standing before me...is that same little boy in my heart and he always will be.

 

I think your husband is looking at his daughter...visualizing the little girl she used to be...and so proud of the young lady she has become.

 

Dont make it about you...becasue it isnt.

[preraph]

He sounds like he needs someone to talk to him about boundaries for sure. What about the daughter's friends? I'd be afraid of him going after one. There's plenty of old guys slobbering after their daughter's friends and if they can do that, I think they can also cross the line with the daughter under the wrong circumstances.

[knabe]

He sounds like he needs someone to talk to him about boundaries for sure. What about the daughter's friends? I'd be afraid of him going after one. There's plenty of old guys slobbering after their daughter's friends and if they can do that, I think they can also cross the line with the daughter under the wrong circumstances.

 

If you read this thread in larger context, there is nothing to worry about. It's just another drama.

[olivetree]

Well this was unexpected.

His beautiful "D" is his daughter.