Black Cement Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 Here's what's going on, been following this girl on Instagram for a couple of years but she doesn't follow me back. She's kinda famous, & I feel like I have no chance. Yet I decided to send her a message and was surprised she answered back. We small talked for a while then I sent a flirty joke and she laughed at it. I stopped talking to her so I don't seem like I'm thirsty. I don't know if she's just being nice, not interested or playing hard to get, but all I know is that I want to date her. What should I do?
basil67 Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 I would assume she's being nice. If she was remotely interested, she would have followed you back. 9
AHopelessRomantic Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 Okay. I'm not famous. People still refer to me as an IG model for some reason. I don't have that many followers, but honestly, I NEVER reply to people. I only reply to those who start off the conversation interestingly before I even open the chat box. Some people, I respond to to be nice and just make conversation. I only follow back pages that can benefit me in some way or people I actually know or just care to see because they post something unique (memes, dance vids, etc.) You definitely have a chance. Especially if she responded to you. Just show a genuine interest. Don't be lame or generic. We get "can i take you out" a million times a day. Just be yourself. Don't make it a date. Make it a friendly outing. Somewhere unconventional that won't seem like a date. Makes us know you're interested, but not pushing hard like every other dude is. It sparks our curiosity. Most guys want us immediately because of how we look. By not "dating" her, you're telling her, her looks aren't all that's important to you. Her looks aren't going to win everything she wants like she's used to. So it sparks curiosity. Hmmm someone who isn't phased by my looks? If THAT doesn't amaze him, then what does? Move slowly. Let her see your personality first. Hell, have regular conversation with her and never ask her out until you're 100% sure she's interested (which you'll know if she offers her contact or talks to you for more than a week lol). Women (especially IG models) are used to being chased. As narcissistic as it sounds, we're actually put off by someone who DOESN'T chase us lol 2
Author Black Cement Posted July 27, 2017 Author Posted July 27, 2017 Okay. I'm not famous. People still refer to me as an IG model for some reason. I don't have that many followers, but honestly, I NEVER reply to people. I only reply to those who start off the conversation interestingly before I even open the chat box. Some people, I respond to to be nice and just make conversation. I only follow back pages that can benefit me in some way or people I actually know or just care to see because they post something unique (memes, dance vids, etc.) You definitely have a chance. Especially if she responded to you. Just show a genuine interest. Don't be lame or generic. We get "can i take you out" a million times a day. Just be yourself. Don't make it a date. Make it a friendly outing. Somewhere unconventional that won't seem like a date. Makes us know you're interested, but not pushing hard like every other dude is. It sparks our curiosity. Most guys want us immediately because of how we look. By not "dating" her, you're telling her, her looks aren't all that's important to you. Her looks aren't going to win everything she wants like she's used to. So it sparks curiosity. Hmmm someone who isn't phased by my looks? If THAT doesn't amaze him, then what does? Move slowly. Let her see your personality first. Hell, have regular conversation with her and never ask her out until you're 100% sure she's interested (which you'll know if she offers her contact or talks to you for more than a week lol). Women (especially IG models) are used to being chased. As narcissistic as it sounds, we're actually put off by someone who DOESN'T chase us lol Lol perfect, I'm talking to an IG model! So it's basically like picking her brain. I guess I do have a chance, she wouldn't even give me the time of day knowing that a lot of guys hit on her. She didn't follow me back because she's following 2 ppl only, lol. Yeah, I genuinely like her. Not just her looks, but her sense of humor, style, and hobbies. So our conversation was just me complimenting her, and her appreciating it. At least I made her laugh when I said she needs work on being a model, lol. I didn't want to chase her because I thought it would be a putt off. So I cut off the conversation and haven't engaged with her in over 2 weeks. But I don't know where to take it from here...
SevenCity Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 If you have a working penis and she has a working vagina, she is not out of your league. Proceed as if all women are lucky to have you (because you are awesome) and if they don't want you it's their loss. Believe it. Live it. You'll find that you can get women that your previous beliefs had you thinking you couldn't. And if she rejects you so what. You won't regret the failures in life, only the times you didn't try. 5
Sunlight72 Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 "She's out of my league, should I go for it still?" If that's how you feel (she's out of your league) - No. Instead, spend 6 months or 2 years making yourself into someone in that league. By then you'll not be too concerned with her as you will have a lot going on in your life and social field. Don't go into a relationship where you think you're second. Best Wishes, Sunlight 3
preraph Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 I have celebs who reply back to me but certainly aren't "interested." They're just being nice to fans or answering a question or whatever. I'm not saying that a celebrity never dates a nonceleb, but as Basil said above, she can follow you back if she has interest. And maybe she will. Also, you should be aware that any big like music artist or actor usually has marketing people deciding what to write on their behalf, who is safe to be polite to, who seems stalkery, etc. So many times when you write a celeb it is never them who are keeping their own account. Wendy Williams, for example, openly tells people her staff do her social media. When I worked for a label group, a marketing person in NY did it for some of the artists. 3
O'Malley Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 (edited) As Preraph said, she might have consultants assisting her with her images and comments, especially if she is somewhat famous. If some of her income is earned from instagram, she has to maintain a rapport with followers in order to bolster her personal brand. She might have found your comments interesting and funny but most of those conversations still have the element of marketing behind them. Social politeness and nothing more. There's nothing wrong with the casual talk and, if you ever have lengthier conversations, mentioning that you'll be at a (specific) event and would love to meet. Just be realistic that it's a long shot and don't invest too much time or thought into it. Edited July 27, 2017 by O'Malley 2
whatnot Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 Here's what's going on, been following this girl on Instagram for a couple of years but she doesn't follow me back. She's kinda famous, & I feel like I have no chance. Yet I decided to send her a message and was surprised she answered back. We small talked for a while then I sent a flirty joke and she laughed at it. I stopped talking to her so I don't seem like I'm thirsty. I don't know if she's just being nice, not interested or playing hard to get, but all I know is that I want to date her. What should I do?outward appearances are not inward reality she may not be good at connecting with people herself. She's going to like anyone she can genuinely connect with. She may be wondering if it's you.
elaine567 Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 I didn't want to chase her because I thought it would be a putt off. So I cut off the conversation and haven't engaged with her in over 2 weeks. But I don't know where to take it from here... Neither do I. YOU had a very short conversation with a "celebrity", who no doubt has such conversations many times daily and you then decide to cut her off dead... What makes you think she even has any idea of who you are? Why would she feel the need to chase you...? Unless you have something amazing or special to offer, she will have forgotten you in an instant. She no doubt needs to keep her fans happy so I guess that is why she messaged back and you did catch her attention, but when you "lost interest", she hardly knew you, so why would she feel the need to get back in touch with you. YOU had her undivided attention for a short while, and then IMO you played a stupid game and lost your advantage... 2
smackie9 Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 Famous people don't mingle with their fans. They date other famous, or very successful people or their nanny. 2
spiderowl Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 Chat and be a friend to her. I'm sure plenty of guys flirt with her so she probably doesn't get many genuine-sounding guys contacting her. But, watch a few episodes of Catfish too. The 'catfish' frequently look like models or someone famous, have fake webpages or profiles, and it is hard to tell if these people are real. You need to check she is who she says she is first before getting too emotionally attached to her. 1
Author Black Cement Posted July 27, 2017 Author Posted July 27, 2017 Okay guys, she's not that famous, like celebrity status. She's a model, who appeared in a few magazines. I work in the same field as a freelance photographer. Maybe I should ask for a shoot? I guess her being out of my league isn't a big deal, it's just trying to make a move with out being like every other guy out there and her curving me.
preraph Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 Models may be famous enough and are certainly sought after enough that they may have their social media handled. I'm sure they attract a lot of nuts. All you can do is not overdo it and see what happens. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 It's good that she is replying to you. Keep your own personal banter going. I think you have a chance. Just treat yourself as her equal for sure. TBH, I'd be more concerned (and you should be) that she only follows 2 people. That usually seems like something only narcissists and people who think far too highly of themselves do. Even if she is marketing herself and modeling type stuff via instagram, she would follow the clients, brands she reps etc. I mean she would have a handful of others that she follows. So maybe she has reason to be cautious because she believes you are not in her league and maybe you have reason to be cautious that she is full of herself. Whatever you do don't act like you are not in her league. good luck 1
O'Malley Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 She's a model, who appeared in a few magazines. I work in the same field as a freelance photographer. Maybe I should ask for a shoot? I'd avoid that kind of approach, if you value professionalism and you want to stand out from the typical come ons - "Hey, you're gorgeous and I'd love to photograph you" - that models get. Better to chat with her and see if you can establish a rapport over common interests. 3
Author Black Cement Posted July 28, 2017 Author Posted July 28, 2017 I'd avoid that kind of approach' date=' if you value professionalism and you want to stand out from the typical come ons - "Hey, you're gorgeous and I'd love to photograph you" - that models get. Better to chat with her and see if you can establish a rapport over common interests.[/quote'] Right, I want to avoid that. We do have something in common, art at least.
coolheadal Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 Here's what's going on, been following this girl on Instagram for a couple of years but she doesn't follow me back. She's kinda famous, & I feel like I have no chance. Yet I decided to send her a message and was surprised she answered back. We small talked for a while then I sent a flirty joke and she laughed at it. I stopped talking to her so I don't seem like I'm thirsty. I don't know if she's just being nice, not interested or playing hard to get, but all I know is that I want to date her. What should I do? We men settle for anything we can get our hands on, but if you think for one second you can get this one, then try. What do you have to loose. Shes popular so can you be if you wanted too. Anything is possible today just don't know you could strike it rich hit 239 million or you can come out with zero!
Miss Spider Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 (edited) I agree that everyone should try for people that they think are "out of their league"...You would be surprised that some people don't even believe in leagues... Maybe she is lonely herself, even though she has lots of "followers" And even she turns you down, oh well, at least you won't be wondering. I think if you are not getting shot down occasionally by women you probably aren't aiming high enough. Edited July 28, 2017 by Cookiesandough
soyou Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 I'm not a celeb but I do receive a lot of texts, messages, and invites from guys. I only reply when the person triggers my interest in some way. So in this case, she definitely has an interest in you. Dont think that because somebody is so beautiful or so well-known that she's out of your league. Everyone needs and looks for love too regardless of their status. Whenever I walk down on streets or go to cafe or restaurants, I always see a lot of guys looking/staring/ checking me out. Some are totally cute, good-looking, and my type but nobody dares to come to ask for my number or ask me out. Please ask her out to do something fun. You stand a very big chance. Good luck! ;-)) 1
CptInsano Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 I used to work in sales. They have a saying in sales, "Don't ever spend the customer's money." Basically, whatever you are selling, you don't determine the value of it, the customer does. In your case, you think this girl is out of your league, and she may be, however, it is up to her to decide that, not you. I used to date a girl who worked as a bikini model for motorcycles. I am just an average looking guy, and she was a solid 10. If you dig this girl, go for it. Fortune favors the bold. The problem is that the OP has already made that determination, meaning he considers her out of his league. I wouldn't pursue her with that mindframe. 1
SevenCity Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 It's good that she is replying to you. Keep your own personal banter going. I think you have a chance. Just treat yourself as her equal for sure. TBH, I'd be more concerned (and you should be) that she only follows 2 people. That usually seems like something only narcissists and people who think far too highly of themselves do. Even if she is marketing herself and modeling type stuff via instagram, she would follow the clients, brands she reps etc. I mean she would have a handful of others that she follows. So maybe she has reason to be cautious because she believes you are not in her league and maybe you have reason to be cautious that she is full of herself. Whatever you do don't act like you are not in her league. good luck Are Twitter / Instagram habits now used for diagnosing people? I've never logged into or looked at either site / app. Does that make me a sociopath? 1
Author Black Cement Posted July 28, 2017 Author Posted July 28, 2017 I'm not a celeb but I do receive a lot of texts, messages, and invites from guys. I only reply when the person triggers my interest in some way. So in this case, she definitely has an interest in you. Dont think that because somebody is so beautiful or so well-known that she's out of your league. Everyone needs and looks for love too regardless of their status. Whenever I walk down on streets or go to cafe or restaurants, I always see a lot of guys looking/staring/ checking me out. Some are totally cute, good-looking, and my type but nobody dares to come to ask for my number or ask me out. Please ask her out to do something fun. You stand a very big chance. Good luck! ;-)) I guess you're right. I just about the time I tried to get with a girl in high school, prom queen, popular, smart, etc.. I got shot down, but a few years later I tried again, and what do you know, we end up in a serious relationship. Never thought it would happen but it did. I guess I shouldn't assume someone is out of my league, and go for it. I feel confident.
anthonywatts Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 Here's what's going on, been following this girl on Instagram for a couple of years but she doesn't follow me back. She's kinda famous, & I feel like I have no chance. Yet I decided to send her a message and was surprised she answered back. We small talked for a while then I sent a flirty joke and she laughed at it. I stopped talking to her so I don't seem like I'm thirsty. I don't know if she's just being nice, not interested or playing hard to get, but all I know is that I want to date her. What should I do? There is one critically important piece of information here which you did not address. How good looking are YOU? Not having seen any photos of the instagram model, you seem to make it clear she is highly attractive; or at least you find her to be. Therefore, she is "high value" in the dating market. Where do YOU rank in the looks department? Low, middle, above average or exceptionally good looking? Take a look at my "are you very good looking?" thread for a realistic appraisal of where you stand. There's no telling how this particular situation will turn out, but if you start with a realistic assessment and then work your way up in the looks department, you will have more success overall.
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