Zigzag17 Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 Got back in touch with a childhood friend who has moved back home from a different state, we've been chatting on IM the passed few weeks. We're both in our early 20s but I'm a few years older than her. Anyway, I've recently started developing feelings for her. I think about her all the time. She confessed to me that she's always had a crush on me as well and that it's gotten more intense since we've caught up. However, I'm not sure how much of it is true. Some of her actions don't seem to be like someone who has a crush. I'm always the one initiating contact, and she also doesn't seem to be jumping at the chance to meet up with me. I'm not so sure how to proceed. I called her and invited her out to go watch a movie, but she says she'll let me know if she's free.
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 Get off your computer / phone & make arrangements to spend time with her in person. Only gage her level of interest from your in person contact not from your insecurities which are highlighted when you only have virtual interactions.
Ajax Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 I think you're too invested in a particular outcome. It happens to all of us. Try to detach yourself from the situation so that if it goes your way, great! If not, you're fine. If you feel like you're initiating all the contact, pull back. Let her initiate. Take a hike. Go fishing... or whatever you do to chill out and center yourself. Take a day entirely to yourself. Or... don't put all your eggs in one basket. See if you can reach out to any other women you'd be interested in. If and when she contacts you, you're too busy to talk now, but if she'd like to meet up soon to let you know when she's free.
silmina Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 To me the fact she's not initiating contact means nothing. Some women prefer to have the guy chase them, just to see their level of interest. I am more puzzled about the fact she won't meet you. Either she really wants to be chased, but at this point it sounds more like a game and it's a bit immature, or she's just not that into you. If I were you I would back off and see how she reacts. And if she keeps being inconsistent, I would clearly move on. 1
Author Zigzag17 Posted July 27, 2017 Author Posted July 27, 2017 I appreciate the responses. I think backing off just a bit would be smart. I wouldn't want to come off as needy anyway. I'll wait and see if she says anything about the movies.
The Urbanyst Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 Start dating other women. I always leave at the first sign of low interest. This leads to one of two things happening: 1. The woman will chase me.. wondering why I disappeared 2. I won't hear from her.. thus confirming her low interest This will save you a lot of money, time and stress. It also saves you from dealing with women's retarded games. But most guys are too desperate, insecure and thirsty to follow this advice with any discipline. 1
GemmaUK Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 You knew each other 20 years ago so you don't actually 'know' each other right now. Maybe she does still have a crush but she is aware that a crush is all that is there right now. Your feelings sound very intense, she isn't on that page. You need to be a little more realistic about things and that this is just a potential and nothing definite. Her saying she will let you know if she is free is normal - maybe she will be, maybe not but she is hardly likely to go all guns blazing with someone she actually really doesn't know any longer.
whatnot Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 Got back in touch with a childhood friend who has moved back home from a different state, we've been chatting on IM the passed few weeks. We're both in our early 20s but I'm a few years older than her. Anyway, I've recently started developing feelings for her. I think about her all the time. She confessed to me that she's always had a crush on me as well and that it's gotten more intense since we've caught up. However, I'm not sure how much of it is true. Some of her actions don't seem to be like someone who has a crush. I'm always the one initiating contact, and she also doesn't seem to be jumping at the chance to meet up with me. I'm not so sure how to proceed. I called her and invited her out to go watch a movie, but she says she'll let me know if she's free.this isn't likely to change ... the die is being cast for the dynamics of any relationship that might develop. I've found these things get set pretty early. Your milage may vary....
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