Luvs2much Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 I had previously put a post about a person whom I've been crushing on for the past 2 1/2 months on another forum.To make a long story short he's my stepcousin( but not blood) we never talked before, just hi and bye once a year. Now I'm getting more hints but I don't know if I'm looking at them correctly..but I definitely feel something's up..he's 42 I'm 33. I don't see this as negative because of the title,I just see him as a man who im starting to really like.. Out of the blue while I'm steadily going about my life, he contacts me out of nowhere and we just hit it off from there. I thought he wouldn't continue to persue communication but he did and hasn't failed since. I feel naive but how do I know he's interested? It's been 10 years for me, affection wasn't expressed freely on my ex part in my last relationship,so simple things like casually flirting again feel a lil foreign to me, I feel since I'm back in the dating game that I might misinterpret his signs. Plus I don't want to come on too strong if he is showing signs, I'd rather take things at a steady pace no rush. ...:love:He was always saying we had alot in common and how come we never did this before(chatting) He sends me links to songs, sometimes their deep lyrics resonate like he's hinting something. (We're both big rock fans) Every morning I get a good morning message and he stays in touch with me throught the day. if he sees anything he likes or he thinks i'll like he sends me a pic etc. Hes always talking like "when you come to visit we'll go here,go there, do this and that', I'll take you to my fav spot etc" He recently sent me pic of an old couple in a VW(his fav) it said "I know my passion for cars will never end, and more so if I have someone by my side till the very end"(got a second opinion with my mother, didn't tell her who it was from, she just said it sounds like the person has a crush) We also play this cute game were he asks me if I want to go out, I say yes and he asks were, so I'll say to the zoo and we'll talk about zoo stuff, as if we were really walking around together. Haha a virtual date? Idk And finally just last week he said "wow,you love animals, classic cars, rock and can cook.your the perfect woman.. too bad you live far away or else I'd take you out" (that made my tummy-butterflies go crazy lol) He got a little nervous when I had mentioned chatting with an old male friend of mines, he quickly asked if he lived in my city or near me. I said the guy is married and has a family as to ease his mind, he changed the subject by asking me how my brothers doing I follow my instinct and I do feel like somethings up(the way he came into my life so suddenly like he had radar lol) this would be the first older man I crush on..ever. so im wondering if the signs are the same when an older man likes a woman, is it more intense idk. I'm just afraid to fully reciprocate in case I'm reading his signals wrong and he's just trying to be nice.
elaine567 Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 And finally just last week he said "wow,you love animals, classic cars, rock and can cook.your the perfect woman.. too bad you live far away or else I'd take you out" (that made my tummy-butterflies go crazy lol) Trouble is that you DO live far away and whilst this is a great virtual "romance", how realistic is it? Can you turn this into real life or is this just going to be a nice little safe long distance jaunt that leads nowhere? Is he even truly single? A lot of people waste years of their life in just this sort of a fantasy and at 33 you have little time left if you want to have kids, you cannot afford to waste any time here playing games online. 1
act00 Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 He contacts you out of the blue in a non-familial way - he likes you. He has taken you (and said out loud) on "virtual dates," and said if you lived close, he'd take you out for real. He tosses out songs and things of interest. There's not a lot to miss here. He likes you. I suspect there has been some (mutual) attraction at family events that you ignored, but it was there. Distance is an issue. These types of relationships are difficult. They do happen and work out, but the odds are against you. Someone has to be willing to relocate at some point and spending time together is expensive and difficult with no guarantees that when you actually spend a lot of time together, daily even, when you actually live in the same area, that it's going to work out. I guess you can just enjoy the ride and see what happens. Try not to get too overly invested. How far away is he? On a side note, you're kind of mixing "business with pleasure" here. If things were to not work out, you'll see him at family events in the future, and perhaps with a woman in tow, as you may bring around a guy, and this could get awkward and ugly even, so question if this is a "friend zone" you wish to breach. Just like dating a coworker, it might not be the best idea.
kendahke Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 The distance makes this all safe. Let's see if he'd do the same if he lived in the same area. 4
Author Luvs2much Posted July 28, 2017 Author Posted July 28, 2017 (edited) He lives in Texas, when ever he can he comes with his mother and sister to visit us, like twice a year,but my dad loves to visit often so my folks drive down there quite often.(which I'm now planning to go with them whenever I can,given my newfound freedom lol) He's been divorced for 10 yrs, single for 4yrs, no kids but definitely wants them. The last time i saw him I wasnt in a good place emotionaly so I was pretty closed off to anyone else except my immediate family(mom,dad, younger bro) I was trying to keep things private, but I do remember when he gave me our usual hug,when I pulled away he felt like he hesitated to let me go....and he had tried to reach out a couple of times, a few years ago but he was going thru things with his ex girlfriend, so I'm guessing that's why he never continued the conversations we'd have,he'd always leave me hanging. afew months later I ended my relationship and then my extended family found out. That's when he started communication. My parents don't see anything wrong with it since they know were not blood, his sister (mynon-blood cousin) has been super sweet and excited when I talk to her, so I'm guessing he's talked to her? Thank you all for your points of view, it helps me to really see the picture, I do need to be careful since it would be a little akward at family functions if say things went sour lol I'm not the jealous, start drama in public places or in private at that, but there are alot of points I need to really think about���� Edited July 28, 2017 by Luvs2much
Recommended Posts