Kazie15 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 So what would you think about this situation. First off, I'm not mad or upset and actually thinks it comical but when I told my girlfriend this story she had a different reaction then me so now I'm throwing it out into the universe... So me and my boyfriend have been together for a few months, in love and the whole shabang and I, being my mushy self said, "did you ever imagine when we were first talking before we met that we be here today all in love and everything?" He replied, very candid and honest, "no, to be honest I'd imagined you would be a one-night stand, maybe we'd be friends then drift apart over time..." I was like "Whaaa? Because when we first texting it was like we were teenagers and you told me you haven't ever texted a girl like that before and you never indicated that's what you were after but I specifically did state that's not what I wanted." He said "well I'm pretty good at talking girls out of their panties and then out of my bed. But then you intrigued me and well my one-night stand turned into what we have now." So my question is what if your boyfriend that you are in a happy committed loving relationship with told you that you were supposed to be a one-night stand? Just curious how different people would take this....
basil67 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 I'm a woman. I joke that my partner of 25 years is the world's longest one night stand. To clarify, I didn't intend that it would be a one night stand....but nor did I have any thoughts to the future. 2
Miss Spider Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Honest or not, seems really sleazy to me. Doesn't seem like a joke. He's actually trying to brag about how great he is at 'talking girls into bed" and how lucky you are he kept you around. Wow. Throw in how he seems to be hiding you from friends and fam, you got yourself a red flag at full mast. 7
caveman621 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Well, it depends. Yeah, no answer, I know. But I got together with my current GF (of two and a half years now!) as FWB. We agreed that's what we both wanted and it was fine. But, I'll be darned! We are 100% compatible in ALL ways and are getting married soon. So what started as a one night stand or FWB can develop into something more. If you love him and he loves you, what does it matter how you first got together? 1
Woggle Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Nothing wrong with it. My wife while not really a one night stand was supposed to be somebody I messed around with then moved on from but she showed she was worth so much more than that.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 The fact that he wasn't sure if he saw things becoming serious in the beginning isn't that concerning. However, I would have an issue with the way he spoke about his conquests in general. If I was in a relationship with a guy who openly admitted that he was the type of guy to mislead women to get them in bed only to toss them aside when he is done, I would be disgusted. It's comes down to his character and integrity. I just could picture a future with someone who basically boasts that he is player and has no shame in misleading other people to get laid. Maybe you can look past this, but personally, I could never look at him with the same level of respect or trust again. 10
I AM HERE Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 The fact that you find it comical could mean you are perfect for each other, personally I'm disgusted by his lack of character concerning women. 1
5x5 Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 I'm a woman. I joke that my partner of 25 years is the world's longest one night stand. To clarify, I didn't intend that it would be a one night stand....but nor did I have any thoughts to the future. My wife and I are the same we had no plans or intentions for anything long term together, yet 21 years later we're still having fun together.
kendahke Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 So what would you think about this situation. First off, I'm not mad or upset and actually thinks it comical but when I told my girlfriend this story she had a different reaction then me so now I'm throwing it out into the universe... So me and my boyfriend have been together for a few months, in love and the whole shabang and I, being my mushy self said, "did you ever imagine when we were first talking before we met that we be here today all in love and everything?" He replied, very candid and honest, "no, to be honest I'd imagined you would be a one-night stand, maybe we'd be friends then drift apart over time..." I was like "Whaaa? Because when we first texting it was like we were teenagers and you told me you haven't ever texted a girl like that before and you never indicated that's what you were after but I specifically did state that's not what I wanted." He said "well I'm pretty good at talking girls out of their panties and then out of my bed. But then you intrigued me and well my one-night stand turned into what we have now." So my question is what if your boyfriend that you are in a happy committed loving relationship with told you that you were supposed to be a one-night stand? Just curious how different people would take this.... I'd be proud of my superpower 2
elaine567 Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 He essentially said he is a player and is good at lying to women to get them into bed and he is hiding you away from his parents and his old friends at home. I get that his ultra strict Catholic family may not like a divorced mother who is also an atheist, but his wife and kids may not like you very much either... Be very careful here. 3
central Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 He didn't expect you to be wonderful, and instead became smitten. Lots of people play the field until they find someone special. Looks like you're it! 3
Simple Logic Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 It could be worse - he could have originally thought you were wife material and later decided you were a one night stand. 2
Redhead14 Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 "no, to be honest I'd imagined you would be a one-night stand, maybe we'd be friends then drift apart over time..." -- sometimes women end up having a string of one-night stands, she just doesn't realize it . . . You asked a loaded question and he gave you a moving target . . . Kazie, your other thread indicates a level of insecurity on your part and, at first blush, when I read you other thread, I was telling you to curb it. But after reading this thread, I think you may have reason to be feeling the way you do. Have you ever had a conversation with him about what he wants for himself out of his dating journey overall? Do you know that you two are on the same page in terms of life goals? Does he want marriage and children, etc.? Is that what you want too? On the surface, this sounds like a cute little exchange and it may very well be just that . . . but get some clarity about where he's at right now in terms of overall goals. Frankly, when he said this: "well I'm pretty good at talking girls out of their panties and then out of my bed. But then you intrigued me and well my one-night stand turned into what we have now." I would have asked "how do you view what we have now and do you see a future in it?" 1
Versacehottie Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 So what would you think about this situation. First off, I'm not mad or upset and actually thinks it comical but when I told my girlfriend this story she had a different reaction then me so now I'm throwing it out into the universe... So me and my boyfriend have been together for a few months, in love and the whole shabang and I, being my mushy self said, "did you ever imagine when we were first talking before we met that we be here today all in love and everything?" He replied, very candid and honest, "no, to be honest I'd imagined you would be a one-night stand, maybe we'd be friends then drift apart over time..." I was like "Whaaa? Because when we first texting it was like we were teenagers and you told me you haven't ever texted a girl like that before and you never indicated that's what you were after but I specifically did state that's not what I wanted." He said "well I'm pretty good at talking girls out of their panties and then out of my bed. But then you intrigued me and well my one-night stand turned into what we have now." So my question is what if your boyfriend that you are in a happy committed loving relationship with told you that you were supposed to be a one-night stand? Just curious how different people would take this.... I also think it's mostly comical albeit very candid....sounds like you are even MORE charming than he is
Zahara Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 He said "well I'm pretty good at talking girls out of their panties and then out of my bed. But then you intrigued me and well my one-night stand turned into what we have now." You must be dating an ex of mine. In my early 20s, young and dumb, I remember earlier on into the relationship, a comment he made that was similar to this. My ex was talking about his dating history and he said, "I didn't have to do much to get them to drop their panties. But with you, it's different." Of course I chose to look past it. He ended up being a cheater and a misogynist. That comment should be ringing bells. Be careful. Eyes and ears open. 3
mortensorchid Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 HA! How old are you both? Because whether or not that was/wasn't true on his part thinking, I would never say that to someone. But because we have been Oprahed to death we have been encouraged to do/say whatever we feel. Which is bad because the world is made up of two types of people : 1) Those who can do and say anything they want and get away with it and 2) Those who can't. You find out very quickly which ones are in the 2nd (which I am) and those who are in the 1st. Why? That's another thread. But I digress ... This may have been true on his part when you first met, but it isn't anymore. Now he is vested in you. He should have been more classy about it, but he has none. Consider this factor as well about him. Unfortunately this is a bad sign about him. Think about it. 1
tetrahedral Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 It's perfectly normal. Telling you is strange, and bragging about it like that to you, is weird at best and alarming at worst. But at face value, he's saying he knew he wanted to have sex with you, sooner than he knew he wanted to date you. That's just common sense. Studies have shown that people of both genders place people as potential sex partners (would I or would I not) within 15 minutes. What's weird about it is that he evidently thinks he's complimenting you. There's an implicit "I chose you, not the other way around" there that makes it sound like he's keeping score. Same with the bit about being pretty good at getting girls out of their panties. Those aren't things you say. So there's nothing wrong with it, but the story is skeevy for other reasons.
Recommended Posts