ironpony Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Sometimes on a first date if I think it went well and I liked the girl, and want to give her some more incentive to see me again, I wonder, should I do it? But not sure if it's a good idea or not, or if I will give the impression of moving too fast. For example, I met a woman for a drink on a first date, and during the date, she talked about how it would be hot to give a guy... pardon my language, I'll phrase it like this -- a BJ under the table on a first as she has never done that before, and she said it in a such a seductive way too. So that was kind of an ice breaker and I thought maybe the date was going well in it's own way, if she were to say that right away. But then later, when we are both leaving and I go in for the kiss, she not only rejects me but she does it in a negative way, as if I did something really inappropriate and crossed a line. So I feel that maybe no matter how a date talks about subject matter wise, maybe a kiss at the end of the date is a bad idea in general. What do you think?
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 If there is a real connection with plenty of affection, touching, I get a pretty good sense that a kiss during or at the end of the date is probable. For me, I know and it's not always b/c the date is going south, rather, b/c I get a feel of the comfort level the lady may have. But, regardless, the one thing I ALWAYS do is ask if I can kiss her. ALWAYS.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Sometimes on a first date if I think it went well and I liked the girl, and want to give her some more incentive to see me again, I wonder, should I do it? But not sure if it's a good idea or not, or if I will give the impression of moving too fast. For example, I met a woman for a drink on a first date, and during the date, she talked about how it would be hot to give a guy... pardon my language, I'll phrase it like this -- a BJ under the table on a first as she has never done that before, and she said it in a such a seductive way too. So that was kind of an ice breaker and I thought maybe the date was going well in it's own way, if she were to say that right away. But then later, when we are both leaving and I go in for the kiss, she not only rejects me but she does it in a negative way, as if I did something really inappropriate and crossed a line. So I feel that maybe no matter how a date talks about subject matter wise, maybe a kiss at the end of the date is a bad idea in general. What do you think? Your instincts were right on this one....sounds like she was just sending very mixed messages. Very odd to talk about giving a BJ under the table and then refuse a kiss. I personally do not love being asked if it's OK to kiss me. I think I do a decent enough job of sending the appropriate signals if I'm feeling it or not.
kortz Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 I never try it on a first date unless she's invited me back to her place or has indicated she wants to come to mine and usually these end up as one night stands...otherwise no matter how well the date went I think it's always good to keep them waiting and keep them curious. I think a girl respects you more if you don't try anything during the first date and is then certainly more receptive to it on the second date (its clear by this point she's interested as she's agreed to a second date). If you try it on a first date I think it sends the message that your intentions maybe don't match up with hers (as innocent as it might be). However in your particular case she was definitely sending some funky mixed signals!
SammySammy Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Missed opportunity. She would have done the blow job and more. For the right guy. The guy that "goes for a kiss" at the end of the date gets nothing. Have to change your mindset.
Author ironpony Posted July 25, 2017 Author Posted July 25, 2017 So was I suppose to undo may pants at the table then? 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 So was I suppose to undo may pants at the table then? LOL! No . But....maybe....hard to say without being there what her motive was in telling you that!
mortensorchid Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 So she said something sexual to you and you didn't respond, so she went cold on you when you were ending the evening. Here's what happened: She felt that you rejected her advances so she rejected you. But don't be bent out of shape about it. Because a gal who says that to someone at a first date like that is a trashy ho. Move on. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 A kiss -- or even any form of sex -- on a 1st date is a personal preference. Some people will think it's great. Others will think it's too much. It needs to be what is right for those 2 people in that moment. 2
smackie9 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 BOTH having strong attraction/interaction/chemistry/touching/smiling/emotional connection is when it's a good time to kiss....you both need to be really digging each other......IMO Don't kiss just because. Got to be feeling something from the girl. 2
SevenCity Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 BOTH having strong attraction/interaction/chemistry/touching/smiling/emotional connection is when it's a good time to kiss....you both need to be really digging each other......IMO Don't kiss just because. Got to be feeling something from the girl. Meh. I've had shocking success kissing girls on the first date - like to the point where it surprised the hell out of me as sometimes I was sure I was going to be rejected but was instead almost assaulted. Kissing on a first date is a great litmus test to see how she is feeling about you. Moreover, a lot of guys don't do it and it makes you stand out. I never asked a girl - ever. That's wimpy and a turn off for most women. It also puts them on the spot - it's like asking for sex. If given the chance to think it may appear like a bad idea. If going in the moment they will often do it because it "feels" right. This BJ girl sounds like she could be fun, but I would be weary of putting my junk in her after a comment like that. Always go for the kiss and then decide if you want to go out with her based on her reaction. Oh and there is no rule saying you have to wait until the end of the date. If you're getting signals go for it.
whatnot Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Sometimes on a first date if I think it went well and I liked the girl, and want to give her some more incentive to see me again, I wonder, should I do it? But not sure if it's a good idea or not, or if I will give the impression of moving too fast. For example, I met a woman for a drink on a first date, and during the date, she talked about how it would be hot to give a guy... pardon my language, I'll phrase it like this -- a BJ under the table on a first as she has never done that before, and she said it in a such a seductive way too. So that was kind of an ice breaker and I thought maybe the date was going well in it's own way, if she were to say that right away. But then later, when we are both leaving and I go in for the kiss, she not only rejects me but she does it in a negative way, as if I did something really inappropriate and crossed a line. So I feel that maybe no matter how a date talks about subject matter wise, maybe a kiss at the end of the date is a bad idea in general. What do you think?You don't let a woman talk trash without confronting it......"Is that an offer?" is the correct response to that remark. (It's the only way to get to know *anyone*). Kissing on the first date.....it depends on how *I* feel. sometimes? I want one the moment we meet .... or no free movie...
act00 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 I am always happy to get a kiss on the first date, and there's usually a mutual attraction when it happens. I've had some bad dates, and no one attempts it. I don't think it's wrong or forward, but everyone is different.
Miss Spider Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 I loved when this one guy kissed me on the first date. HE WAS SO HOT
RecentChange Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 Damn.... If I like the guy I would always want a kiss / make out on the first date. I am adventurous gal.... But talking about a bj under the table as "first date hot" I agree with some others, that is straight up trashy. She sounds a bit nuts 3
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