LordRorek Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Hey it has been a year and six months since my break up and while I have healed and moved on I still occasionally get "flashbacks"and I was wondering if you guys have any advice? P.S I call them flashbacks but they aren't like the ones that accompany PTSD. Basically I get a powerful rush of bad memories and it feels a bit like I have been struck by lightning. 1
Chin Up Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Acknowledge them, validate them, accept them,but don't wallow in them. It sounds really stupid and simple, but it works for me. The other day something about my ex popped in my head and I was reeeally ticked off all of a sudden. So I sat down and thought "I'm mad because abc, and he never xyz'd! In fact, all those times I 123'd he never even said thank you, and that's not cool!!!" Sudden bouts of longing, sadness, anger, etc I do that. I think the "flashbacks" happen as a result of trying to emotionally/mentally sweep things under the rug. 2
fieldoflavender Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 I get them too. Then comes anger, sadness, etc. And then I ask myself the same question - would I want him in my life again? Does he ACTUALLY care about me not to hurt me? I evaluate his last actions and how he never even apologized for them. And then what is the point? After I go through it with less emotion, I am able to move on. In the beginning, each flashback was so painful - now it is just a fleeting thought. I'm getting better at moving on. Some triggers will be worse than others - and allow you to feel, but ask yourself honestly whether this person actually cared - otherwise why are you alone?
Zul Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 I don't suffer from exactly that, but I do get terrible dreams about my ex. She haunts me in my dreams. I know exactly how you feel. The best way that I cope with it is that I tell myself that we didn't work out and that my dreams are filing these terrible things away to hopefully never be seen again. It is something that unfortunately we cannot avoid, but they do lessen with time.
sorano Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 I still get those. I just accept them, analyze them to why this is happening and I try to tell myself if she really loved me and were meant to be, we would still be together. I look at the bad times we had. Like how ****ty she treated me. And I start to feel better.
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