Cali1978 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 (edited) Just looking for thoughts... I am in no way heartbroken over this situation but just interested in what people's opinions are about what happened. I met a guy online who asked me out pretty quickly. We went for cofffee and it went very well with a nice kiss at the end. We went for dinner the following day and again plenty of kissing and attraction. I didn't feel he was asking lots of questions about me but the trading back and forth was good. We had planned the movies a few days later and in between he iniated most contact. But he seemed to want me to confirm that I had fallen for him. I mentioned I don't always kiss on the first date and he replied "yesssss I'm the best!" Then he'd ask "do you miss me?" I'd say "oh yes immensely, do you miss me"-just going along with it. He'd reply "a bit, but you miss me more". Etc etc. He was very affectionate at the movies and I wouldn't say I was majorly comfortable with it as I felt I didn't know him enough to be acting almost like a couple. He knew I wasn't big into PDA. Plenty kissing in private afterwards was great and he texted so straight after the date almost like he wanted confirmation. A few chatty texts since but no reply to my last text and obviously ghosted. So I'm just wond ring what is this all about? I'm not going to feel that I wasn't affectionate enough or I did anything wrong. I believe the issue is with him. I'd just be interested in other people's opinions so I'm a bit more informed for the future. He's in his 40's and profile states he wants a relationship. Edited July 25, 2017 by Cali1978
Redhead14 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Just looking for thoughts... I am in no way heartbroken over this situation but just interested in what people's opinions are about what happened. I met a guy online who asked me out pretty quickly. We went for cofffee and it went very well with a nice kiss at the end. We went for dinner the following day and again plenty of kissing and attraction. I didn't feel he was asking lots of questions about me but the trading back and forth was good. We had planned the movies a few days later and in between he iniated most contact. But he seemed to want me to confirm that I had fallen for him. I mentioned I don't always kiss on the first date and he replied "yesssss I'm the best!" Then he'd ask "do you miss me?" I'd say "oh yes immensely, do you miss me"-just going along with it. He'd reply "a bit, but you miss me more". Etc etc. He was very affectionate at the movies and I wouldn't say I was majorly comfortable with it as I felt I didn't know him enough to be acting almost like a couple. He knew I wasn't big into PDA. Plenty kissing in private afterwards was great and he texted so straight after the date almost like he wanted confirmation. A few chatty texts since but no reply to my last text and obviously ghosted. So I'm just wond ring what is this all about? I'm not going to feel that I wasn't affectionate enough or I did anything wrong. I believe the issue is with him. I'd just be interested in other people's opinions so I'm a bit more informed for the future. He's in his 40's and profile states he wants a relationship. but you miss me more -- This statement from him says to me that he was on an ego trip, looking for ego boost. He's in his 40's and profile states he wants a relationship.-- Saying this on a dating site is probably just about "marketing". He knows most women want a relationship so he's gonna get "more bites". A few chatty texts since but no reply to my last text and obviously ghosted.-- How long ago since this exchange?
Author Cali1978 Posted July 25, 2017 Author Posted July 25, 2017 Good points! Last exchange yesterday morning. No reply to my text last night.
Redhead14 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Good points! Last exchange yesterday morning. No reply to my text last night. Eh, keep moving. Don't "feed this bear" I think your gut is right.
Chilli Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 l think women get their whole man ego thing ideas all wrong and nah, don't think he was after an ego boost. Besides, a date with someone you don't even know is one hard and very unpractical way to go looking for an ego boost. l think he's probably just being a bit playful and teasey saying stuff like that , a touch of fishing for clues of how your feeling too but hey we all need some clues. If he just missed one text could be anything but l'm thinking he's not really feeling it tbh.
Author Cali1978 Posted July 25, 2017 Author Posted July 25, 2017 Yep I've zero interest. It's just fascinating how these men operate. You wonder what they want in the very end.
Redhead14 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Yep I've zero interest. It's just fascinating how these men operate. You wonder what they want in the very end. You wonder what they want in the very end -- Sometimes they don't know themselves. But, in the moment, it's usually sex and/or ego stroking
Author Cali1978 Posted July 31, 2017 Author Posted July 31, 2017 To update, he texted hello six days after I texted him. I didn't reply but e texted again asking if he should stop texting me. I said I assumed he wasn't interested in me as he hadn't replied to my message last week. He said he was busy and forgot. I didn't reply so he text again asking was it goodbye so? I left it vague. I guess I did the right thing? I wasn't sure he really wanted to get to know me on the dates and then this disappearing act turned me off. Just hope I haven't missed an opportunity- just don't want to be of low value-I'm a catch!
coolheadal Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Just looking for thoughts... I am in no way heartbroken over this situation but just interested in what people's opinions are about what happened. I met a guy online who asked me out pretty quickly. We went for cofffee and it went very well with a nice kiss at the end. We went for dinner the following day and again plenty of kissing and attraction. I didn't feel he was asking lots of questions about me but the trading back and forth was good. We had planned the movies a few days later and in between he iniated most contact. But he seemed to want me to confirm that I had fallen for him. I mentioned I don't always kiss on the first date and he replied "yesssss I'm the best!" Then he'd ask "do you miss me?" I'd say "oh yes immensely, do you miss me"-just going along with it. He'd reply "a bit, but you miss me more". Etc etc. He was very affectionate at the movies and I wouldn't say I was majorly comfortable with it as I felt I didn't know him enough to be acting almost like a couple. He knew I wasn't big into PDA. Plenty kissing in private afterwards was great and he texted so straight after the date almost like he wanted confirmation. A few chatty texts since but no reply to my last text and obviously ghosted. So I'm just wond ring what is this all about? I'm not going to feel that I wasn't affectionate enough or I did anything wrong. I believe the issue is with him. I'd just be interested in other people's opinions so I'm a bit more informed for the future. He's in his 40's and profile states he wants a relationship. You gave in too fast with his gestures of love. Now you wait on his text or him. Like he tried you out and see what your made of. What a good thing you didn't go and have full sex with him. Everyone is strangers takes time to develop any relationship. But you too had short dating experience. He had pushed you and you guard drop and you gave him what he wanted. A few NO's to his EGO would have cool him down a bit. Now you don't know where you stand with such a controlling guy like him. He my want a relationship but what type. Short or long term dating. Sounds like short with a needy ego. You gave him what he wanted. Are you happy? Think about you for a chance. Not about his needs your needs? Where they met or what? 1
Zahara Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 To update, he texted hello six days after I texted him. He said he was busy and forgot. Funny how in the beginning they're all over you and then they get busy and forget. It's lame and ludicrous. Move on from this one. He's likely entertaining other women and you're likely on his rotation list. 3
rie39 Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 To update, he texted hello six days after I texted him. I didn't reply but e texted again asking if he should stop texting me. I said I assumed he wasn't interested in me as he hadn't replied to my message last week. He said he was busy and forgot. I didn't reply so he text again asking was it goodbye so? I left it vague. I guess I did the right thing? I wasn't sure he really wanted to get to know me on the dates and then this disappearing act turned me off. Just hope I haven't missed an opportunity- just don't want to be of low value-I'm a catch! Yeah I really don't think he's interested. If a guy is really interested in you he wouldn't just say is it goodbye. Nor would he in the first place say he was "busy and forgot" it's just not an excuse. Don't worry about missing an opportunity. If he really liked you he'd try harder. 1
coolheadal Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 To update, he texted hello six days after I texted him. I didn't reply but e texted again asking if he should stop texting me. I said I assumed he wasn't interested in me as he hadn't replied to my message last week. He said he was busy and forgot. I didn't reply so he text again asking was it goodbye so? I left it vague. I guess I did the right thing? I wasn't sure he really wanted to get to know me on the dates and then this disappearing act turned me off. Just hope I haven't missed an opportunity- just don't want to be of low value-I'm a catch! You got a message like that from him, no need to reply to him. If he was interested you wouldn't be here asking us for advise. Never crawl to guys like this. Since I am a guy this wouldn't be like this. Now you know how some guys are. Just have to be on the look out next time to spot these advances for him and not for you.
SammySammy Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I think he was just running a game down on you. That's exactly what this is. Rudimentary game. I know what he's trying to do, but he's very clumsy and amateurish.
rushed Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Funny how in the beginning they're all over you and then they get busy and forget. It's lame and ludicrous. Move on from this one. He's likely entertaining other women and you're likely on his rotation list. This. I don't think he was talking to/dating you for an ego boost. To me it seemed like he was just being playful like Chilli said. But I'd put my money on him talking to other women, hence the hot and cold. When I was on OLD, I definitely used that "Oh, I'm sorry, I was busy" text (yeah, busy texting other guys) in reply to guys whose texts I ignored. He'll probably text you again when he's bored. Definitely next him.
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