The Urbanyst Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 A woman who is over pursued will lose interest. 1
BryanSmiley Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 I think he means 8-10 altogether in the evening exchange. He said he texts her in the evening, not all day long. I think you'd be the exception on this. I've yet to meet a woman who didn't prefer daily contact after the first few weeks. OP, my guess is that she's one of those believes that women aren't supposed to initiate. I suggest you change that by having a talk and letting her know that you want a fully reciprocal relationship. Then slow it down to every other day, invite her to text you first anytime, and see if she texts you first on the off days. If you wait the same length of time that it takes her to text you before you initiate another exchange, she will be determining the frequency. Women will tell you what they think they want, but the reality is that if you are a little less available it makes attraction stronger. People crave what they can't get enough of, and grow complacent if something is in too much supply. I've always found it better to be attentive when you're together, but somewhat unavailable when you're not. You also find out a lot about her personality that way. But there is an art to the dance, so no rules are written in stone. I've found this to be the case most often, but not always. My most recent ex was to the other extreme and even after a few months would feel smothered even if we had light contact daily, or saw each-other more than 2 times per week. Yet if I pulled back I found she'd start contacting me daily and couldn't wait to see me next. Says a lot about the psychology of it all - I think you've captured it well here. Communication is key, I would say try to keep initiating as close to 50-50 after awhile - if you've had a light hearted convo around what you consider nice/normal. It's a shame to have these loose rules in the background - over time through good communication any small % of games should decrease. If they aren't - that in itself is a red flag.
elaine567 Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 It seems to me that many especially men it appears like to have "rules" and formulas in place so that they feel more secure and they then know what to do and what comes next, but life, especially our emotional life does not tend to like rules. That is why many get blind-sided and confused as things were "not supposed to work like that". Every woman is different just like every man is different. Flexibility is key, tailor actions to the reactions you get back, let it develop naturally, and not because some rule says this or that.
salparadise Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 It seems to me that many especially men it appears like to have "rules" and formulas in place so that they feel more... [whatevva] Ha, I'm pretty sure it's the opposite. Women are the masters of irrational beliefs, expectations and rules... like, never message first, wait for the guy to ask you out, playing coy, feigning demure, gauging his interest (persistence in response to resistance), you only pay if you're not interested, withhold sex if you are interested, never call a guy, never approach, never go his place unless you're ready to schutp. Just a few off the top of my head, and there are certainly more. I'm not saying guys don't have any, just we have very few comparatively.
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