2Dokie5 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Hello wonderful Loveshack people, Once more I am gonna ask for your help and support as I don't have anyone else to turn to and discuss these matters. What triggered my current emotional state was the break up with my gf after 1 yr we've been together. As you can guess I experienced once again a well played scenario where she says she loves me,doesn't wanna leave me and all the sweet talk in the world and suddenly since the day she went on vacation two weeks ago, the exact same day she stops being the person I care for and love. She doesn't call and when she does she has nothing to say, she never says I missed u or I love u during that time and in general she doesn't seem to care at all and I'm standing confused wondering why the sudden change? Long story short I ended the relationship but it didn't feel good. On the contrary something cracked inside of me. I've never felt such emotional pain before and I've had plenty experiences and break ups in the past. I'm not proud of myself anymore since I've been crying like a little child for the last 2 days, almost non-stop, but not because I want her back no! I'm in that state because I've lost faith in people. I am turning 29 in 2 days and I'm afraid I will not be able to find someone to love me back. I'm blessed to be a good looking guy and have all the sex in the world when I want it but that's NOT what I'm after! Why is it so hard to love someone and truly mean it and do everything for that person? All I've found so far is lies,psychological issues caused from past relationships and people who act selfishly and hurt you! I just can't pick up my pieces and move forward at this point. I would be really grateful if some of you could share your thoughts and experiences if you will on this matter and help me past this point. Many thanks in advance
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 The lost of any relationship is a blow to the ego. Your upcoming birthday is also a stressor for you at this point. The combo especially sucks. That said, it's not the end of the world. You will find somebody (even if it's not before your birthday.) Do find something fun to do with your friends that night to celebrate. Grieve the loss of your relationship. When you're ready, pick up the pieces & move on. You will be OK 2
Author 2Dokie5 Posted July 26, 2017 Author Posted July 26, 2017 Many thanks for the reply, I appreciate it a lot!
Amas5750 Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 I know it might not mean alot but you are still quite young . Lots of time to choose wisely 1
Maldives Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 I can kinda relate about the loss of faith not so much in people but relationships. The last one said all these wonderful things never leave me ur my soulmate but in the end left. I too have have lost a lot of faith and trust in relationships I won't say woman because I've seen on these forums they hurt just like us but cope very differently to men. They seem to be able to not look back wth any regrets whereas men don't. I think what I'm coming to learn from my recent break up well it's not recent anymore it's coming almost into a yr now and the lessons I've learnt is we act out our baggage in our relationships or new relationships and haven't processed the damage that was inflicted from the past and carry it forward into the next relationship and either sabotage or hurt that person. I'm coming to learn thru seeing a psychologist and may I add I feel like I'm only scratching the surface when it comes to my lot Lol, that once we really are healed and processed and unravelled all that baggage then I believe we make better choices with our relationships. When I reflect on my past relationships something attracted me to these woman which in still trying to work out but noticed the red flags early in the price but was blindsided by my feelings for that person. I think if we can identify the red flags early on and leave and choose better it may help with choosing a better suited longer relationship that can work out for life hopefully. A lot of my friends seem to have found life long partners they don't know how lucky they are but they are also more committed and less uncertain about there choice then I have been so maybe that's why there still together. I know for me because of who I've gotten involved with it's always been a challenge wth strong feelings wth that person but not seeing the kind of future if like to have wth them because of there situation or what they come with as in my most recent ex had kids and I have goals and dreams that kinda don't align too well wth someone wth kids for example want g to teach English in Laos for instance. It's possible but u can't just get up and catch a plain and go there
Sweetfish Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 Hello wonderful Loveshack people, Once more I am gonna ask for your help and support as I don't have anyone else to turn to and discuss these matters. What triggered my current emotional state was the break up with my gf after 1 yr we've been together. As you can guess I experienced once again a well played scenario where she says she loves me,doesn't wanna leave me and all the sweet talk in the world and suddenly since the day she went on vacation two weeks ago, the exact same day she stops being the person I care for and love. She doesn't call and when she does she has nothing to say, she never says I missed u or I love u during that time and in general she doesn't seem to care at all and I'm standing confused wondering why the sudden change? Long story short I ended the relationship but it didn't feel good. On the contrary something cracked inside of me. I've never felt such emotional pain before and I've had plenty experiences and break ups in the past. I'm not proud of myself anymore since I've been crying like a little child for the last 2 days, almost non-stop, but not because I want her back no! I'm in that state because I've lost faith in people. I am turning 29 in 2 days and I'm afraid I will not be able to find someone to love me back. I'm blessed to be a good looking guy and have all the sex in the world when I want it but that's NOT what I'm after! Why is it so hard to love someone and truly mean it and do everything for that person? All I've found so far is lies,psychological issues caused from past relationships and people who act selfishly and hurt you! I just can't pick up my pieces and move forward at this point. I would be really grateful if some of you could share your thoughts and experiences if you will on this matter and help me past this point. Many thanks in advance Stop dating individuals who are using you to raise their own self esteem. You might not realize it.. but you will learn who these people are and these people are not in love with them selves.. so how can they recip the love you offer... if they will run to the next big thing.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 (edited) Just to clarify, did you break up with her for not giving you enough attention while she was still on vacation? I hope not because that would be extremely dramatic and I can almost guarantee you will regret it. Edited August 4, 2017 by Scarlett.O'hara
SammySammy Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 Just ... stop. Being triggered, emotional, crying, unable to move forward and all of that dramatic mess. Stop it already. It doesn't help you or her.
Chilli Posted August 4, 2017 Posted August 4, 2017 Yeah , you just gotta soldier on from here she's obviously out of it so , nothing else you can do. But hey , your good lookin , you can get the stuff if you want it you say , could be a lotttttt worse. Besides , 29 , your comin into absolute prime of life between now and 40 for anything you want in life including marriage or something like that when the right lady comes along sooooo, who knows what the future holds. Stay single for awhile , clear your head , live. you'll be fine.
Recommended Posts