Im walking on a thin line with this relationship here....but i want differently.

[hmmm101]

well, this past wek i would have to say was the worst i've felt in about 3 and a half years, maybe the worst ever......and im serious.

 

i am just in high school, but ive been goin out with this girl for about 9 months, and its gotten very very serious. honestly, i really do think that we should spent the rest, and if not, a huge portion...of our life together.......and she thinks that way 2. acctually, she said all of this kind of stuff before i did.

 

anyways, last thursday, i spent the day with her, and we had an awesome time, one of the best days, acctually. you could tell that we both enjoyed eachother's company. however, when the night was over and i was talking to her online, her mood comletely changed. she told me to call her, which i did, and she was crying hysterically. I asked her what was the matter, and she tells me that she is falling out of love.

 

now dont get confused, because i got confused here, and i still might be. she also say that it isnt a constant feeling, like she loves me completely at times too. we talked about it, and figured out that theres a pattern. she is comletely in love with me when we are phisically together, but when we are talking on the fone or online, she is very distant and not as loving.

 

Now, i think ive ruled out that there is another guy, because the first thing she said on the fone that night was that she's scared of being alone, which basically says she doesnt have anybody in mind for another relationship.

 

so we both agreed we wanted to try and fix it, and we think that spending more alone will help, but we havent gotten a chance to get together because we are busy, and frankly, she doesnt seem to be trying to make time either.

 

I'm really scared for our relationship, because just the other day we both were talking about going to prom, getting pictures done, future-like stuff, ya know? so this all of a sudden non-love came as a shock to me, even though she said on that night that she had been feeling the on and off feelings for a few weeks.

 

any advice is greatly appreciated, because i really dont know what i would do without her in my life. she has taken my heart, completely.

 

Thanks

[Saidar]

I'm so sorry for you, all I can say is, if you really love her that much, put every effort into making sure the relationship is going to last. If you got things to do, scrap it and go see her, show her how much you care about her. Make her feel that she's the only thing that matters to you in life.

Good luck

[C Mee]

Originally posted by Saidar

I'm so sorry for you, all I can say is, if you really love her that much, put every effort into making sure the relationship is going to last. If you got things to do, scrap it and go see her, show her how much you care about her. Make her feel that she's the only thing that matters to you in life.

Good luck

 

Do that and he'll push her right into some other guys arms. She'll think she has him on a string and can come and go as she pleases.

[kitkat826]

Originally posted by C Mee

Do that and he'll push her right into some other guys arms. She'll think she has him on a string and can come and go as she pleases.

 

Wow. I really love this site. Its nice to hear the guys point of view on these things (you are a guy , right? )

 

Well here's my main take on it: you say you are in high school, so my instinct says that it is a case of what many, many, many people go through in their first serious relationship. Heck, it what goes on in relationships in general: like she says, shes falling out of love. When its your first, it is just that more impactful because you really don't know anything else and its the first time youve ever connected with someone on that level. This doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid, its just that you perhaps don't have the experience to see the big picture and see what is truly best for you in the long run. I think you should start to prepare yourself for moving on from her, because at your age I don't know if you are ready or capable of doing whats necessary to "save" a relationship from this type of situation. She will always be an important person in your life and TRUST me, you will meet and connect with many other people in different ways. But you need to learn to let this go, I think, because you will only suffer a lot more heartbreak without ever getting that initial greatness of the relationship back. I really don't mean to sound harsh, but thats been my experience and, well, the experience of 99% of everyone I know.

[Saidar]

Kitkat, you are so right, but I don't agree with Cmee. This isn't a case of using each other. The girl he is in love with sounds like she trusts him, 'cause he said she told him there's no "spark" anymore.

 

So I agree with Kitkat, if you are between 15 and 19, then think about what you are doing. If she doesn't love you anymore, you can try to gain her love again by showing her how much you care about her. If you can't get her to love you again, then it's over.