M_abrc Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he has told me a lot of times that I am the first women that he has ever loved and I believed him because he told me that he never felt like that before and that he did not love his ex even if they were together during 2 years. But recently I saw some old posts in his Facebook where he said that he loves her (his ex girlfriend) and they seemed happy together. Why he would lie about that?
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 What he feels for you may be different from what he felt for her & now he thinks whatever he felt for her was a pale imitation of love. OR He could be a player who says what he thinks you need to hear to have sex with him. You know his character. Which do you think is more likely?
Author M_abrc Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 Also, I do not think that is just playing with my feelings since he invited me to with him for 3 months to Spain.
Miss Spider Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 My guess is that he just wanted to make you feel special 1
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Also, I do not think that is just playing with my feelings since he invited me to with him for 3 months to Spain. 4 months into this new relationship & he has invited you to go to Spain with him for 3 months. Waaaayyyyyy tooo fast. Remember what starts out hot & fast ends hot & fast. Be very careful of things this guy says. I don't see sincerity at all but I could be wrong. 2
Author M_abrc Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 4 months into this new relationship & he has invited you to go to Spain with him for 3 months. Waaaayyyyyy tooo fast. Remember what starts out hot & fast ends hot & fast. Be very careful of things this guy says. I don't see sincerity at all but I could be wrong. Yes and we also went to Mexico, I do not know, he is always doing this kind of things for me and we spend a lot of time together. Also I checked his ex and she is ugly so I do not care.
girlinNYC Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he has told me a lot of times that I am the first women that he has ever loved and I believed him because he told me that he never felt like that before and that he did not love his ex even if they were together during 2 years. But recently I saw some old posts in his Facebook where he said that he loves her (his ex girlfriend) and they seemed happy together. Why he would lie about that? He might not have wanted to upset you or make you feel insecure about another women especially if their relationship has ended. Most guys would think there's no point going on about past relationships especially if there's nothing there anymore, adds pointless fuel.
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Yes and we also went to Mexico, I do not know, he is always doing this kind of things for me and we spend a lot of time together. Also I checked his ex and she is ugly so I do not care. Now I'm confused. You posted this thread because you ostensibly caught your new guy in a lie. He told you that you are the first woman he ever loved but you found him publically saying I love you to his EX on FB. While I gave you a possible explanation that reconciles those things, the more you post, the more likely it seems to me that he's the type who will say what he thinks the new girl (you ) needs to hear. You have only been together 4 months but you already went to Spain together for 3 months & have taken a trip to Mexico? Wow. What a whirlwind jet set romance. That seems all the more reason to proceed with caution; he may have relationship ADHD & always want the new shiny relationship rather than a commitment. This whole thing screams Player & not in a good way to me. Now you are also saying that you are willing to discount anything he said/wrote/posted to his EX simply because you think she's ugly. That type of superficial assessment doesn't seem particularly valid to me, but if you are happy, that is all that matters. Best wishes. Keep your passport up to date.
Author M_abrc Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 Now I'm confused. You posted this thread because you ostensibly caught your new guy in a lie. He told you that you are the first woman he ever loved but you found him publically saying I love you to his EX on FB. While I gave you a possible explanation that reconciles those things, the more you post, the more likely it seems to me that he's the type who will say what he thinks the new girl (you ) needs to hear. You have only been together 4 months but you already went to Spain together for 3 months & have taken a trip to Mexico? Wow. What a whirlwind jet set romance. That seems all the more reason to proceed with caution; he may have relationship ADHD & always want the new shiny relationship rather than a commitment. This whole thing screams Player & not in a good way to me. Now you are also saying that you are willing to discount anything he said/wrote/posted to his EX simply because you think she's ugly. That type of superficial assessment doesn't seem particularly valid to me, but if you are happy, that is all that matters. Best wishes. Keep your passport up to date. Of course I was a little sad because I believed that I was the first girl that he has ever loved and I was a little confused, still... that is why i did this. Mayeb is too fast but we are young and we are happy together so if we have this opportunities we are going to take them and yes we travel a lot but who would not do that if they could? And yes that makes me happy because she is not only ugly and fat she is also a biych that tried to sabotage our relationship. 1
SammySammy Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 He could be telling the truth. Being in a relationship with a person does not mean you love them. Saying you love them does not mean you do (or did). It's also possible he could have thought he was in love at the time to only realize later it was not love. That has happened to me. Reflection leads to interesting insights sometimes. 3
Redhead14 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he has told me a lot of times that I am the first women that he has ever loved and I believed him because he told me that he never felt like that before and that he did not love his ex even if they were together during 2 years. But recently I saw some old posts in his Facebook where he said that he loves her (his ex girlfriend) and they seemed happy together. Why he would lie about that? Because it's not a good selling point . . .
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he has told me a lot of times that I am the first women that he has ever loved and I believed him because he told me that he never felt like that before and that he did not love his ex even if they were together during 2 years. But recently I saw some old posts in his Facebook where he said that he loves her (his ex girlfriend) and they seemed happy together. Why he would lie about that? Because he's a player. Because he doesn't want to lose you. Because he isn't honest (clearly). Because he is hiding something.
basil67 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 she is not only ugly and fat This is quite unnecessary. I understand you being angry at her previous actions, but personal attacks like this reflect very poorly on you. As for why he said it, I too have experienced the revelation of finding that a new love has been a much deeper feeling than what previously thought was love. 3
act00 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Don't get yourself wrapped up in the past. The past is the past. At my age, there is no getting around it. Every man I meet has been in love (married), has had sex (children), has had wild and wooly days (heavy partying, sex, etc.), and probably engaged in activities that could bother me, a lot, if I pressed the issue on knowing all the details. You don't need to know these things. Everyone has a past. Some things are important to know (addiction, abuse, health issues, drama) and some things are not...just NOT. Does it matter that he was once in love? No, it does not. He's probably trying to make you feel less insecure by stating it wasn't, and maybe it wasn't. Maybe he thought it was, and it was on some level, but not the same love that would have kept them together for the next 50 years. No one knows. The reality is, he had a serious girlfriend, and they were probably in love, at least at first...and then they weren't. Life goes on. You don't need these details. This is not a competition. If you are constantly having to live up to his ex, cut bait. Otherwise, accept it as it is...a past. He's not with her now. He's with you. Everyone has a past. Don't ask for details. Just know it happened.
smackie9 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 I thought you broke up with this controlling a-hole? This guy is bad news....he is a con artist, and with lies like this he is mentally manipulating you into staying with him....get with the program here....he's a jerk. 1
kendahke Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 (edited) I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he has told me a lot of times that I am the first women that he has ever loved and I believed him because he told me that he never felt like that before and that he did not love his ex even if they were together during 2 years. But recently I saw some old posts in his Facebook where he said that he loves her (his ex girlfriend) and they seemed happy together. Why he would lie about that? could be what he meant to say is what he feels for you may be the first time he's felt love on that level. also, why rub your face in what he felt for someone in the past? Also I checked his ex and she is ugly This says way more about you than it does her. Edited July 25, 2017 by kendahke 2
Zahara Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 I read your other thread. This is the least of your problems. But I do think he has the potential to tell people what they want to hear and is a great pretender. Lying and keeping up appearances is indicative of his insincerity. I think you have much dysfunction and heartache ahead. This guy is bad news.
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