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Posted

I realize as I am typing this that the question I am about to ask was featured in the movie "High Fidelity" but I will ask it anyway ...

 

I've known this woman for about six months and started seeing her casually for a few weeks. Nothing serious so far, just a few dates and a few hugs and pecks on the cheek thus far, and while I think I've made my interest pretty obvious, it's hard for me to gauge how interested she is in me.

 

The other day we were having a conversation during which she said, "we haven't slept together ... yet."

 

Is it safe to assume that her adding the word "yet" to that sentence means she is interested? I really like this woman but I am usually terrible at figuring out whether people are interested in me. I usually need to be smacked over the head before I figure it out.

Posted

As a woman who has used that line myself in the past...yes...it usually is an indication that I am open to the idea of having sex provided things continue to move along smoothly and without issue.

 

If I had no desire to have sex with you, or have no real plans any time soon to have sexual relations with you, I would never include the "yet" part. It sends a message of hope.

 

Why do that unless you're both 'hoping' for more?

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Posted

Well if she's still dating you then I assume the plan is to eventually have sex with you...

 

If you've known each other for 6 months, why are things so slow? Does she not seem interested?

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Posted
Well if she's still dating you then I assume the plan is to eventually have sex with you...

 

If you've known each other for 6 months, why are things so slow? Does she not seem interested?

 

We've known each other six months, only dated a few times though. We were both with other people when we met.

Posted
We've known each other six months, only dated a few times though. We were both with other people when we met.

 

So, you both cheated on your previous partners?

 

Okay, so what is a few times?

 

This is my not-so-obvious take.

 

You have dated and you've received hugs and pecks. I hardly would see that as meaningful evolution towards sex. I am wondering if she is wondering if it will become more. It could be that she is stating the obvious, but your post is w/o context. I doubt that this is something that just came out of the blue. No one makes such a statement w/o some prompting. What did you all say before she made this statement and what happened immediately after?

 

Otherwise, it is all too dubious as to what she meant.

Posted

It certainly more positive then not.

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Posted
So, you both cheated on your previous partners?

 

Okay, so what is a few times?

 

This is my not-so-obvious take.

 

You have dated and you've received hugs and pecks. I hardly would see that as meaningful evolution towards sex. I am wondering if she is wondering if it will become more. It could be that she is stating the obvious, but your post is w/o context. I doubt that this is something that just came out of the blue. No one makes such a statement w/o some prompting. What did you all say before she made this statement and what happened immediately after?

 

Otherwise, it is all too dubious as to what she meant.

 

No. There was no cheating. I'm not sure where you got that idea. We were both in relationships when we met. Then we weren't. Then we started dating. We've seen each other four times over the past few weeks.

 

The conversation that led to her comment was a sort of half-joking thing about taking a road trip together to see a mutual friend and whether they would assume that we'd want to share a room.

Posted

Don't read too much into it. Could mean anything. Just get to know each other for now.

Posted

Poster #2 gave the perfect female mind answer with explanation.

Posted
We've known each other six months, only dated a few times though. We were both with other people when we met.

 

Thanks for the clarification. The statement bolded and underlined above was not clear in terms of timing of your previous relationship and when you started dating.

Posted (edited)

 

The other day we were having a conversation during which she said, "we haven't slept together ... yet."

 

Is it safe to assume that her adding the word "yet" to that sentence means she is interested? I really like this woman but I am usually terrible at figuring out whether people are interested in me. I usually need to be smacked over the head before I figure it out.

 

You get "un-terrible" by asking for clarification in the moment. It's the most direct route out of the fog you choose to stand in.

 

her: we haven't slept together... ...yet.

 

you: is that something that you'd like to have happen?

 

The word "yet" is your entre into this conversation.

Edited by kendahke
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Posted
You get "un-terrible" by asking for clarification in the moment. It's the most direct route out of the fog you choose to stand in.

 

her: we haven't slept together... ...yet.

 

you: is that something that you'd like to have happen?

 

The word "yet" is your entre into this conversation.

 

You're right that simply asking would have solved the whole problem. Trouble was, her comment totally caught me off guard and instead of asking, I just kind of stopped, smiled/winked and then continued with the conversation b/c I was a little stunned by it.

 

Incidentally, I tried to be Rated PG in my original post. When this took place, she actually said "f**ked" not "slept together" but of course the meaning was the same. But the use of the F word was part of what kind of caught me off guard b/c it's not a word she uses much if at all.

Posted

No offence OP but the way you are asking us to analyse one 3-letter word of a text you kinda sound like a woman :laugh:

 

She is interested...but the way you find this out is by making moves and seeing how she responds. Not by trying to figure out the nuances of her texts.....

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