2005tahoe Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Another good start to an OLD prospect. She is 24 I am 38, I drove 1.5 hours to meet her and take her out, we walked around the town she lives in and took a little drive, parked and had a nice little makeout session. We had so much in common and never had a silent moment. I held her hand as we crossed the streets, opened doors for her and made the move for the first kiss. We have since deleted our OLD profiles as we chose to concentrate on each other. Everything we talked about we agreed on as far as what we are looking for. She invited me to come stay with her this weekend at her place. We have gone with the flow and let things fall how they are, I don't look at it as too fast or rushing things. The chemistry is on a high level and its not just the infatuation stage. She has mentioned her high sex drive and how she likes sex. She has only been with 5 guys and me with 4 girls, she doesn't sleep around, she looks for commitment before she has sex. I am expecting it to be on the table this weekend, which leads me to a question. I want sex but I don't want it to affect the relationship or what we have going on, I want a relationship as well as her. Part of me wants to take it day by day and not read into the future and have sex with her and see if it strengthens our relationship or if it goes the other way and part of me wants to wait and build on what we have emotionally before sleeping with her because we both want more than a FWB. Part of me thinks if I don't sleep with her, she will get frustrated and next me and part of me wants to sleep with her and see what happens, I'm 50/50 on this. its been a while since I have had sex and I want it but I also want more, were 100% agreement on that. What would you guys do?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 We have gone with the flow and let things fall how they are, I don't look at it as too fast or rushing things. The chemistry is on a high level and its not just the infatuation stage. What makes you say this? You've met her once, correct? 2
BaileyB Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Another good start to an OLD prospect. She is 24 I am 38, I drove 1.5 hours to meet her and take her out. We have since deleted our OLD profiles as we chose to concentrate on each other. Everything we talked about we agreed on as far as what we are looking for. She invited me to come stay with her this weekend at her place. We have gone with the flow and let things fall how they are. The chemistry is on a high level and its not just the infatuation stage. She has mentioned her high sex drive and how she likes sex. I am expecting it to be on the table this weekend. I want sex but I don't want it to affect the relationship. What would you guys do? Slow down... You have had one date with this woman? And, you have both taken down your online profiles? At this point, you don't really know her and you don't have a relationship with her - yet. I don't know how you can say that you are not just in the infatuation stage - because you are clearly in the infatuation stage. And, you think she wants to have sex with you on the second date? Perhaps, I'm just being sceptical, but I'm still trying to figure out what would draw a 24 year old woman to a 38 year old man... I would suggest that you slow it down and use your common sense... I fear that you are excited and you have gotten way ahead of yourself with this one... 6
kidm Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Another good start to an OLD prospect. She is 24 I am 38, I drove 1.5 hours to meet her and take her out, we walked around the town she lives in and took a little drive, parked and had a nice little makeout session. We had so much in common and never had a silent moment. I held her hand as we crossed the streets, opened doors for her and made the move for the first kiss. We have since deleted our OLD profiles as we chose to concentrate on each other. Everything we talked about we agreed on as far as what we are looking for. She invited me to come stay with her this weekend at her place. We have gone with the flow and let things fall how they are, I don't look at it as too fast or rushing things. The chemistry is on a high level and its not just the infatuation stage. She has mentioned her high sex drive and how she likes sex. She has only been with 5 guys and me with 4 girls, she doesn't sleep around, she looks for commitment before she has sex. I am expecting it to be on the table this weekend, which leads me to a question. I want sex but I don't want it to affect the relationship or what we have going on, I want a relationship as well as her. Part of me wants to take it day by day and not read into the future and have sex with her and see if it strengthens our relationship or if it goes the other way and part of me wants to wait and build on what we have emotionally before sleeping with her because we both want more than a FWB. Part of me thinks if I don't sleep with her, she will get frustrated and next me and part of me wants to sleep with her and see what happens, I'm 50/50 on this. its been a while since I have had sex and I want it but I also want more, were 100% agreement on that. What would you guys do? You sound like a giddy teenager instead of a mature 38 year old. So the girl who doesn't sleep around and has only been with 5 guys has has already invited you to stay with her AFTER ONE DATE and sex is on the table. Seems contradictory.You two need to slow things down and get to know each other. How is this not the infatuation stage when you've only met her once? You two are practically strangers who have met each other's representative at this point. 3
roncollins Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 First, I want to congratulate you on your successful date. Now, as for your sex issue with her; make sure your heart tells you she is the perfect one for you before you have sex with her. If you are fully convince that she is compatible with you, then you should be afraid of having sex with her. However, don't try to rush her into having sex with you. Simply watch out for her body language to see if she is open to sex. If she wants it, then have sex with her. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 You sound like a giddy teenager instead of a mature 38 year old. So the girl who doesn't sleep around and has only been with 5 guys has has already invited you to stay with her AFTER ONE DATE and sex is on the table. Seems contradictory.You two need to slow things down and get to know each other. How is this not the infatuation stage when you've only met her once? You two are practically strangers who have met each other's representative at this point. Well, she's only 24, so 5 certainly doesn't point to a chaste woman . She hasn't had a ton of years to rack the numbers up. However, it would appear she's well on her way if signs are pointing that direction after one date with a man technically old enough to be her father. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Why did you both DELETE your profiles??! I am with others. She claims to have had sex with only 5 men, but is jumping into it with you and you've only met once?????? What?! Way too fast, my friend. You make it sound like you've found your soul mate and ready to propose. DE-ACTIVATE your profile, not delete it. One day you're feeling like you're on cloud 9 and the next, she's gone. Way too early to make any appreciable assessment of where you stand. I truly hope she isn't a player or worse. 3
No_Go Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Why did you both DELETE your profiles??! I am with others. She claims to have had sex with only 5 men, but is jumping into it with you and you've only met once?????? What?! It is very possible she's not lying. From my 'heroic' past: my first BF and I also had sex very early on after we met...Maybe 1 or 2 'official' dates. I was a bit older than her (27) and totally virgin. I've never ever even kissed a guy before him. I didn't tell him initially to save dignity, so we have had full program in bed... and then later on when I told him - he didn't believe me for a while :lmao: 1
CloudyHead Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 We all like the giddy feeling from meeting someone great. But, you do need to rein it in. I think we've all met someone on OLD and had sex quickly then the relationship ended in a few months because the relationship was more about sex than compatibility. I appreciate honesty and bluntness so tell her that you would like to see how this relationship progresses and hold off on the sex because you don't want a FWB situation with her. And, 24 years old is really young! She hasn't even had time to experience much in the world. 2
morrowrd Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Sex starts a bonding process, so if you two are going to share that, I recommend you are exclusive, which it appears you two have decided on. The problem with online dating is everyone is dating strangers. You read profiles, look at pictures, meet up and are on your best behavior.....and the "chemistry" as it's famously called, happens. Sex then naturally takes place, the relationship moves fast, and once all the dots are connected, not everyone is happy. That's why "ghosting" happens. If you are able to postpone sex until you have started to build some real trust, that would be ideal. Most of the time, people don't wait that long. 6
Author 2005tahoe Posted July 27, 2017 Author Posted July 27, 2017 First, I want to congratulate you on your successful date. Now, as for your sex issue with her; make sure your heart tells you she is the perfect one for you before you have sex with her. If you are fully convince that she is compatible with you, then you should be afraid of having sex with her. However, don't try to rush her into having sex with you. Simply watch out for her body language to see if she is open to sex. If she wants it, then have sex with her. She has invited me over to her place tonight, she lives in an apartment complex. She is the one pushing for sex early on, her text messages have backed it up and she has mentioned her high sex drive. I don't know if its inexperience on my part bc my sex life has been pretty basic but talking about it makes me shy as far as what goes on in the bedroom. She is the submissive type behind closed doors. I don't know if I'm uneasy about not having experience or of I need to step outside the box and live a little. I plan on taking condoms and want to practice safe sex, she has mentioned before that she was clean, are there any other precautions? I had thought about mentioning a blood test at the doctor that I had done recently and that the results came back great.
kendahke Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 What would you guys do? I'd slow down and quit projecting/living in the future. I'd also not be surprised after having sex when she starts talking about how how she's not really ready for a relationship, she's confused and a litany of excuses once you begin attempts to shorten the distance by being around her more. 1
BaileyB Posted July 27, 2017 Posted July 27, 2017 She has invited me over to her place tonight, she lives in an apartment complex. She is the one pushing for sex early on, her text messages have backed it up and she has mentioned her high sex drive. I don't know if its inexperience on my part bc my sex life has been pretty basic but talking about it makes me shy as far as what goes on in the bedroom. She is the submissive type behind closed doors. I don't know if I'm uneasy about not having experience or of I need to step outside the box and live a little. I plan on taking condoms and want to practice safe sex, she has mentioned before that she was clean, are there any other precautions? I had thought about mentioning a blood test at the doctor that I had done recently and that the results came back great. It's not you that you need to worry about... Perhaps you should be asking her to get tested? I just find it odd that you have had one date but you know that she has a high sex drive and she is submissive in the bedroom. I'm not discouraging you from having sex with the woman if that's what you want, but this just isn't very normal - certainly not in terms of how I would chose to date. 1
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