Heartbrokenandhurt Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 I originally went on a date with this guy back in early spring, met on a dating app. I really wasn't over my ex, it was still very raw and thought going on a few dates would help. The date was fine, nothing amazing, just a friendly drink, didn't mention the ex. Afterwards, he messaged to say he'd like to see me again, I said sure and to have a think where we could go (because the first date venue was my choice) and i'd let him know when I'm free. He never did let me know... which was bizarre considering he said he'd had a great time and wanted to meet again. I didn't hear from him for about a month. I wrote him off. Until he started messaging me again. I wasn't very happy with him, I told him we won't go on another date now because I can't deal with hot/cold behaviour and that my ex had put me through all that towards the end of my relationship. He told me he did like me but had become busy with work. (He did start a new job) Which is why he hadn't messaged me atall. Contact became a lot more frequent despite me saying no to another meet up. I'd get all sorts of random messages such as 'Hows your weekend going?' to letting me know about things that might interest me. I would sometimes just ignore the messages or reply briefly. I eventually blocked him on WhatsApp. So he text me instead. His persistence paid off, and I thought I would give him another chance afterall. But I made it clear I had since stopped dating because I wasn't over my ex, although we wouldn't be getting back together. He said that's fine and he still wanted to meet, date or not. We met last weekend and had lunch, it was fine. again nothing that set my heart racing, but it was pleasant enough. He messaged me after saying he'd had a nice time and wanted to see me again. He suggested meeting up on Friday, so I met up with him for dinner and drinks. I started to get to know him more and actually had a nice time, it was getting really late so he said he was Sorry but had to go because he was knackered having worked all day. We had spent all evening together so it was fine. He messaged me that night, even though it was late saying he'd had a nice time and said it was a shame about the weather. (It had been terrible) I replied saying I was going to sleep and agreed it had been a nice night. He responded to my message and said Goodnight at the end of it. The next day, I responded to that message, he replied later on, but very brief, and not making any further conversation. I left it. Today I've had no contact from him atall, although he has been online all day. (He actually isn't usually) So that's weird. My guess is that maybe he is now talking to someone else and disappearing AGAIN?! Although he didn't message me every single day before, you'd think he might have the few days after our date? Thoughts?
meeji Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 It has only been one day. If he doesn't contact you in another few days I wouldnt give him the time of day. Mat be he is busy. Another thing is that you are not dating this guy, which he k knows. He can do what he wants. If he never contacts you again there nothing wrong it. You guys are not building a romantic relationship and he owes you no explanations. If you changed your mind and you want to date him let him know. 3
coolheadal Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Your a victim of being GHOSTED.. He's lost interest in you.. But you need to know the truth.. Stop wasting time over this jerk and move on and find a guy that wants to share his life with you. Why do you settle for guys like this. Doesn't make much sense to me why would you want too. You sit and wait or his text to come in just the OK, Hey, HI, Hello, How are you? This is all BS and what the heck to you get out of this, HOPE, what HOPE there is nothing to grab hold too nothing. I being blunt again but you need to see the real picture in this situation. Don't do this try to move on and find that prince charming in your life who want to be with you and love you so much. And even text you like you like!
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 If he doesn't message within the next few days I plan to block.
Miss Spider Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 This is why you don't take resurrected dudes back. It's a headache and yes, they will do it again. First time they ghost or even act sketch, you block and delete so you can make room on your phones hard drive and also not be bothered in the future by a persistent nuisance. They made the decision and they need to live with it, as difficult or easy as that may be for them 1
hercules22 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 (edited) sounds like u want to stay in touch on regular basis he seems to act like a low key friend since you said to him you are not looking to get back out there dating wise . He could either be busy or have other potential girls that he is dealing with who knows the dating world in all sorts could also hope to have you as backup when you do get ready or something if he doesn't succeed with others?? Edited July 24, 2017 by hercules22
Miss Spider Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 sounds like u want to stay in touch on regular basis he seems to act like a low key friend since you said to him you are not looking to get back out there dating wise . That's a good point. You did tell this guy you weren't interested in dating, so can't exactly fault him for not keeping in touch as if you were and possibly moving on to other options. But regardless, don't give ghosts second chances!
MiracleGift Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Anybody who does this is a coward! Do not give second chances to people who abandon you! It's the absolute worst feeling in the world, and you deserve better! Move on to somebody who appreciates you and won't toy with your emotions!
Redhead14 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 (edited) I made it clear I had since stopped dating because I wasn't over my ex Your thread indicates you are really confused about what you want. You tell him that you haven't been dating because you aren't over your Ex. So he more or less says he's OK with casual. And, now you're expecting him to pursue you like he's/you're looking for more than that. The guy has/had low interest anyway. Either you're OK with seeing him once in a while or you aren't. If you aren't, you don't entertain anymore contact with him. Let it go. He's just showing you that he's consistently inconsistent. Edited July 24, 2017 by Redhead14 1
Blanco Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 To be fair, you have made it clear that you aren't over your ex. Were I in his shoes, I would probably be playing things close to the chest, too, for fear of getting too attached to someone who's going to determine that building something isn't possible because she still isn't over her last relationship. Given your other thread, I think maybe dating isn't the best idea right now. I commend you for giving it a shot, but your thoughts are still all over the place regarding your ex. It's probably best for those to be a bit more tempered before you go searching for the next guy.
kendahke Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Although he didn't message me every single day before, you'd think he might have the few days after our date? Thoughts? did you not say: I made it clear I had since stopped dating because I wasn't over my ex, The question now becomes: are you are aren't you? Because your question above bends toward you being over your ex and you were using that line to manipulate him. Has is occurred to you that he is giving you the space you said you needed because you're not over your ex and he doesn't want to intrude?
kendahke Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Your a victim of being GHOSTED.. No she's not. She told the guy: I made it clear I had since stopped dating because I wasn't over my ex, He is honoring her position, not ghosting. One can have a nice time out and still honor and act accordingly when someone says they've stopped dating because they're not over their ex. 1
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 I can understand all the points of view here. I think we both were aware that it was actually a date despite what I said... he insisted on paying for the meal. (I did offer) Although I did pay for some drinks after. Which is why im now wondering if just blocking would be abit mean. He did pay afterall.
Redhead14 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I can understand all the points of view here. I think we both were aware that it was actually a date despite what I said... he insisted on paying for the meal. (I did offer) Although I did pay for some drinks after. Which is why im now wondering if just blocking would be abit mean. He did pay afterall. You don't have to do anything right now. If he reaches out again, tell him you're moving on because you're still confused about what you want. Or simply don't respond.
Miss Spider Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 (edited) I can understand all the points of view here. I think we both were aware that it was actually a date despite what I said... he insisted on paying for the meal. (I did offer) Although I did pay for some drinks after. Which is why im now wondering if just blocking would be abit mean. He did pay afterall. Theres nothing mean about it. There are guys like this one in which the block was made for. Some people are too nice and if a guy they have lukewarm interest in comes back after ghosting (he did ghost, not this time but the last time, you asked him to let you know a place and no response) they will give in because if they reject them they will become more persistent. He went into hunt mode. Once he caught, it went back to the same. I know how you feel because I can't stand ignoring people. It makes me feel really bad. But there is not room in your life for everyone. The block feature takes away that stress and the hardship of having to explain again and again(you told him. he was too hot/cold). Also, this person had no qualms about ignoring you so you should not feel bad. Blocking is no different than ignoring except that you wont be tempted to respond out of kindness. They cannot even see you've blocked most of the time. Edited July 24, 2017 by Cookiesandough
Recommended Posts