shamen Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 I personally love getting flowers, but I do think that on the first date they might be too much. Maybe 2nd or 3rd? That I could handle without thinking that it was a little too much... But again, only you know this girl, WSR.
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by shamen But again, only you know this girl, WSR. but how could he know her SHAMEN? he's never even met her.
Author WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale but how could he know her SHAMEN? he's never even met her. Does anyone ever really know someone else? We could get technical here at nauseum. Personally, I feel she would love a small summer arrangement. I get a good vibe from that but this question was more to get general thoughts.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam Does anyone ever really know someone else? We could get technical here at nauseum. Personally, I feel she would love a small summer arrangement. I Next week you will be posting on what you did wrong.. did you come off as clingy.. I have been known to bring something small.. Like a stuffed animal before.. But I was a lot younger.. Today.. Flowers on the first date say too much to fast.. Something tells me you will hear this in the near future with her
Author WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 It's interesting that we have split opinions here. She's never had a romantic guy before, which tells me this would get me browie points. On the other hand, just taking her out to dinner and spending time together should be more than enough to show my interest on the first date. I do appreciate the female point of view on this also. It seems like the ladies don't see much wrong with a small arrangement while the guys see it as being a deathblow.
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam On the other hand, just taking her out to dinner and spending time together should be more than enough to show my interest on the first date. right...just leave the nerd outfit at home I do appreciate the female point of view on this also. It seems like the ladies don't see much wrong with a small arrangement while the guys see it as being a deathblow. how many women have given other women flowers on a date?
shamen Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale right...just leave the nerd outfit at home how many women have given other women flowers on a date? ALPHA, taking someone out to dinner on a first date absolutely shows interest... I don't get it, why does that make him a nerd? For the second point, are you asking if there are any lesbians here? What are you talking about? It doesn't matter that WSR hasn't physically met her yet, he obviously knows her to a degree, so he'll still know better than we will whether or not the flowers will be too much. But WSR has already addressed this anyway... WSR, I still think that I would prefer flowers on the 2nd or 3rd date.
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by shamen ALPHA, taking someone out to dinner on a first date absolutely shows interest... I don't get it, why does that make him a nerd? I have inside info that other LSers are not privy to.... For the second point, are you asking if there are any lesbians here? What are you talking about? what i am saying is that women can't really give advice on when to give women flowers cause they usually don't do this. Would you ask a single man advice on how to feed and change your new baby's diapers? No, you would not. You would ask a woman who has already had a baby or two.
shamen Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale what i am saying is that women can't really give advice on when to give women flowers cause they usually don't do this. Would you ask a single man advice on how to feed and change your new baby's diapers? No, you would not. You would ask a woman who has already had a baby or two. I don't think that your metaphor works... As a woman, I think that I may have a better opinion on whether or not a woman would want flowers on the first date than a man would, IMHO. And yes, I've given some of my bfs flowers. Long term ones, mind you, and quite a while into the relationship. Never short lived ones.
loony Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam She's never had a romantic guy before, which tells me this would get me browie points. On the other hand, just taking her out to dinner and spending time together should be more than enough to show my interest on the first date. She tells you she never had a romantic guy before? Pffffff..... I do appreciate the female point of view on this also. It seems like the ladies don't see much wrong with a small arrangement while the guys see it as being a deathblow. Some people are just too nice and they don't want to discourage you, that's it.
westernxer Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by shamen It doesn't matter that WSR hasn't physically met her yet, he obviously knows her to a degree, so he'll still know better than we will whether or not the flowers will be too much. Can't really know a person until you've shared the same physical space. Phone talk is just talk, and we all know that talk is cheap. Considering how inexpensive it is to make a phone call these days, it's cheaper than ever. Originally posted by alphamale what i am saying is that women can't really give advice on when to give women flowers cause they usually don't do this. I second that. When a woman really likes you, she doesn't care if you bring anyting at all, other than yourself (and maybe some latex). God-honest (to some, God-awful) truth!
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by loony Some people are just too nice and they don't want to discourage you, that's it. exact-a-mundo LOONEY....when a dude shows up at her door for a 1st date bearing any kind of gift then he is basically saying that he thinks he needs some accoutrements and embellishment to make her happy and want him. That he on his own cannot do it.
Author WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale exact-a-mundo LOONEY....when a dude shows up at her door for a 1st date bearing any kind of gift then he is basically saying that he thinks he needs some accoutrements and embellishment to make her happy and want him. That he on his own cannot do it. Or he could be saying that I care about her enough to stop and pick these up.
scratch Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam It's interesting that we have split opinions here. She's never had a romantic guy before, which tells me this would get me browie points. On the other hand, just taking her out to dinner and spending time together should be more than enough to show my interest on the first date. Reread what I wrote, and take note that as much as folks usually enjoy doing so, nobody has really disagreed with me here. Getting flowers will get you brownie points IF AND ONLY IF you don't need them in the first place. If you do need them, flowers will have the opposite effect.
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam Or he could be saying that I care about her enough to stop and pick these up. it is impossible to "care about" someone before you have even met them in person... what if you go to pick her up and she weighs 375lbs and has a face like a pit bull?
Author WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale what if you go to pick her up and she weighs 375lbs and has a face like a pit bull? Then I will send her your way. I will go with the majority and do no flowers. However, if the date goes well, I'm sending her some as a surprise. I have to give you guys something to shred to pieces.
loony Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam Or he could be saying that I care about her enough to stop and pick these up. What are you saying? You don't know this girl yet, you haven't even met her yet and you're talking about caring for her???? Wake up, this is a first time meeting. Personally, I think she's a wacko, but that's just my humble opinion. Originally posted by scratch Reread what I wrote, and take note that as much as folks usually enjoy doing so, nobody has really disagreed with me here. Getting flowers will get you brownie points IF AND ONLY IF you don't need them in the first place. If you do need them, flowers will have the opposite effect. In this case you're absolutely right.
westernxer Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam She's never had a romantic guy before... Wonder what she did to scare them away...
Author WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by loony Personally, I think she's a wacko, but that's just my humble opinion. It's exactly this kind of pessimism that explains why I rarely post anymore. You have less of a right to call her wacko than I do to say I care about her. Where are the supportive folks?
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 My last relationship was an affair and on our first date he told me he was going to bring me a flower but decided against it cuz I couldn't very well take it home with me. BUT I STILL LOVE GETTING FLOWERS and romance is very important to me. Okay, so the guy I'm seeing now gave me peas from his garden, they sorta have flowers, right?? And he made me some music CD's! He's a sweetheart.
westernxer Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam It's exactly this kind of pessimism that explains why I rarely post anymore. You have less of a right to call her wacko than I do to say I care about her. Where are the supportive folks? It's hard to lend support to something that's yet to materialize, because the odds are against you. I've been in your shoes and I learned my lesson, as have others. Thank goodness I only had to learn it once. You'll eventually find out on your own whether or not it's a go, and hopefully you prove us wrong. No doubt it's exciting, and I'm happy for you. Just be careful with what you say on the phone, because it could come back to bite you in the ass.
loony Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam It's exactly this kind of pessimism that explains why I rarely post anymore. You have less of a right to call her wacko than I do to say I care about her. Where are the supportive folks? Come back when you have met her and tell me if I was right or not. I'm absolutely against telling people nonsense so they will feel better. I see some warning signs from you wrote about her and it would be better for you to take a good look at the criteria that you use to judge people otherwise you will end up in the same trap. I just don't have enough of this cheerleader mentality to tell people things that I don't believe in just in order to be polite or to be friendly. Maybe smacking you with the harsh truth is not nice but I think you also argue way too much with people who have been in similar situations and who should have some clue what they're talking about.
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam Where are the supportive folks? Are you looking for objective advice or do you want to hear supportive opinions that back you prefabricated point-of-view?
Outcast Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Listen to me. If this gal is watching Hooking Up, Blind Date, or any of the kazillion dating shows she'll see lots of men bringing little gifts like flowers on the first date. Whether the shows are setting or following trends doesn't matter; she'll not think it's clingy and may think you're ahead of the game if it hasn't been done before. Bringing a few flowers isn't 'clingy'; showing up with an armful of roses with a declaration of love would be. This lady is already professing her liking for the guy so she's not one of those folks who has read 'The Rules' or 'Why Men Love Bitches', obviously. So he should behave on the premise that she thinks that junk is bunk and that she'll enjoy a small gift of flowers. It's not like they've never spoken or barely know each other. They've talked a lot so this is really like a second date.
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast Listen to me. If this gal is watching Hooking Up, Blind Date, or any of the kazillion dating shows she'll see lots of men bringing little gifts like flowers on the first date. Whether the shows are setting or following trends doesn't matter; she'll not think it's clingy and may think you're ahead of the game if it hasn't been done before. . if you think what is on TV and movies is reality then think again....all these shows pander to womens romantic fantasies but not to what they want in real life.
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