WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Hey all - I've been talking to this girl for a couple of weeks and we'll be having our first date this weekend. What are your opinions on giving her a small boquet of flowers (I know, not roses) when I see her? We talk for 3+ hours every night, and have had several conversations well over 5 hours, so obviously we feel very comfortable with each other. Do you think this would be a nice idea, or is it always better to just show up with yourself on a first date? Thanks in advance!
Marshbear32 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Yes. Way to much...
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Yes flowers on a first date are too much...
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 no flowers and no phone conversations longer than 10 minutes you've probably already put yourself into "friends" category due to the long calls good luck
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 I think flowers might get you out of the friend category. A small bouquet of daisy's would do.
Author WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale you've probably already put yourself into "friends" category due to the long calls I'm proud to say you're wrong this time. She is completely crazy about me and says she see us being together for a long time. Our conversations are primarily romantic/flirty more than anything else. In general, I agree that phone conversations should be kept short initially. Ok, so no flowers. Even if she thinks I'm incredibly romantic, though? I know there will be plenty of time for things like that if all goes well, but I thought it would be a nice idea.
Author WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 I think flowers might get you out of the friend category. A small bouquet of daisy's would do. I am definitely not in the friends category. I am all too familiar with that, and this is purely romantic. I was just thinking of a small boquet of flowers from Wal-Mart or something - nothing expensive or groundbreaking.
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam I'm proud to say I've proven you wrong. She is completely crazy about me and says she see us being together for a long time. even though you have yet to go out on your 1st date? if you believe this then I have a slightly used bridge in brooklyn to sell you...
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam I am definitely not in the friends category. I am all too familiar with that, and this is purely romantic. I was just thinking of a small boquet of flowers from Wal-Mart or something - nothing expensive or groundbreaking. Save the flowers for your 2nd date... Just bring your smile
Author WhereSpiritsRoam Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale even though you have yet to go out on your 1st date? if you believe this then I have a slightly used bridge in brooklyn to sell you... I agree with a lot of what you say, but love is not science. I think each situation has to be handled on a case by case basis. There is not always a concrete cause-effect relationship when it comes to this stuff.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 If she thinks you are romantic, then seal the deal with flowers and have some small romantic gesture ready for every single date you go on. Shut up guys!
Marshbear32 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam I agree with a lot of what you say, but love is not science. I think each situation has to be handled on a case by case basis. There is not always a concrete cause-effect relationship when it comes to this stuff. Very true WSR. You have to look at each relationship individually but as a whole Alpha is right on..
loony Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam I'm proud to say you're wrong this time. She is completely crazy about me and says she see us being together for a long time. Our conversations are primarily romantic/flirty more than anything else. In general, I agree that phone conversations should be kept short initially. I don't know, if someone whom you don't know at all says these kind of things on the phone then I'd say she's not quite kosher... Originally posted by alphamale even though you have yet to go out on your 1st date? True. You may not like what I will tell you now, but I think you're the typical nice guy who clings too much. And these are the ones who will worry too much in advance about their date thus putting way too much pressure on things. This in return will be manifested in bad vibes that the girls pick up quite easily. Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam I agree with a lot of what you say, but love is not science. I think each situation has to be handled on a case by case basis. There is not always a concrete cause-effect relationship when it comes to this stuff. Nice guy + additional evidence => bad ending All the cases include you and you are the main factor when people judge a situation. They know the kind of girls that nice guys feel attracted to, they know what these nice guys tend to do wrong. There might be nothing wrong with bringing flowers to a date when you're a self-confident guy who had great conversations with a nice gal who is nuts about him and he about her and when he decides spontaneously to bring her flowers as a surprise it's ok, but you as a nice guy are walking on thin ice with this gesture. You should better not do too much.
scratch Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam What are your opinions on giving her a small boquet of flowers (I know, not roses) when I see her? I've posted the following before, and it usually ends the conversation. Here is the way the whole idea of flowers breaks down: If the girl likes you a lot, flowers are fine. But, there's really nothing to gain by doing it, because your objective in giving flowers is to make her like you. If the girl is not interested, or on the fence about you, flowers will be over-the-top and will cause her attraction to lessen. In short, giving flowers can only hurt you in your aim to win or increase her interest. Best possible case, you don't lose. Don't give a girl flowers, or any gifts, except at appropriate gift times. Focus on planning dates that she'll enjoy - that reflects a sufficient level of thoughtfulness to please a woman genuinely interested in you.
Outcast Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Oh yes. Please please do listen to single men about how to treat a woman because they for sure know. See how well it's working for them? By all means take her flowers. Don't arrive with an armful of flowers but a small arrangement (5-6 ) of some seasonal flowers would be very nice. If she watches any dating shows (and if she's a living breathing female she does) she'll get the idea that a small gift on the first date is not unusual, 'too nice' or anything wierd. I don't think looney lives in the US and I'll bet none of those guys watch the shows.
scratch Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast By all means take her flowers. Don't arrive with an armful of flowers but a small arrangement (5-6 ) of some seasonal flowers would be very nice. cross-posted with edit
loony Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by scratch I've posted the following before, and it usually ends the conversation. Here is the way the whole idea of flowers breaks down: If the girl likes you a lot, flowers are fine. But, there's really nothing to gain by doing it, because your objective in giving flowers is to make her like you. If the girl is not interested, or on the fence about you, flowers will be over-the-top and will cause her attraction to lessen. In short, giving flowers can only hurt you in your aim to win or increase her interest. Best possible case, you don't lose. That's absolutely correct. Even though if she likes him already and he brings her flower she will like him even more, but ok maybe you don't need it this far. Originally posted by Outcast Oh yes. Please please do listen to single men about how to treat a woman because they for sure know. See how well it's working for them? I'm not a single man and I still would not recommend him to bring her flowers.
alphamale Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast By all means take her flowers. Don't arrive with an armful of flowers but a small arrangement (5-6 ) of some seasonal flowers would be very nice. a "small" arrangement of flowers is worse than giving her no flowers or a huge $100 arrangement of flowers. "small" = "cheap" in a woman's eyes. and BTW, OUTCAST....since you've never dated a female (unless you are gay) you can give little useful advice on the subject. alpha
loony Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale a "small" arrangement of flowers is worse than giving her no flowers or a huge $100 arrangement of flowers. "small" = "cheap" in a woman's eyes. No, I think it would be ok. If a guy was really into brought me a small bouquet I would find it sweet. If he brought me a big flower arrangement I'd think he's trying to impress me with his wealth. Or maybe I'm not high-maintenance enough, I don't really expect expensive dates. Wherespiritsroam doesn't strike me as someone who dates this kind of girl and this kind of girl very likely would not feel attracted to him either. and BTW, OUTCAST....since you've never dated a female (unless you are gay) you can give little useful advice on the subject. alpha I think he's a guy. I confused him with MWC... (don't ask me why). I think Outcast could bring flowers, Wherespiritsroam should better leave this out. He won't have problems letting her know that he likes her. His problem is avoiding to come across as needy and clingy. So, no flowers, please.
UltimateZen Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Why not something different than flowers? I got some strawberries for this girl once, because in our conversations I knew she was crazy about them. I am now marrying her this Saturday....... Rules are meant to be broken depending on the circumstances. Go with your gut feeling because it very rarely lets you down.
loony Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by UltimateZen Go with your gut feeling because it very rarely lets you down. He doesn't have gut feeling. That's why he's posting here.
Outcast Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 If a guy was really into brought me a small bouquet I would find it sweet. If he brought me a big flower arrangement I'd think he's trying to impress me with his wealth. Exactly. If you turn up with a dozen red roses, yes that would be a big mistake but a few simple summer flowers are perfectly fine.
loony Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast Exactly. If you turn up with a dozen red roses, yes that would be a big mistake but a few simple summer flowers are perfectly fine. I think scratch explained it quite well why it's better not to bring flowers and I also stated my reasons why Wherespiritsroam should surprise not his girl with any flowers. Are you the woman here or me?
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