CarbonCopy Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Met up with a male friend after dinner last night. He knows very well that I like him and am very attracted to him, but he's unavailable and I respect that. Anyway, we chatted for a bit but then he had to go back to work. He hugged me three times lol. And by hug I mean tight, full body hugs, my chest (boobs) pressed against his. I couldn't help myself and wrapped my arms around his back. Was this totally inappropriate on both our parts?
Shanex Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 If he's taken and happily so, not too appropriate. Hugging is more a thing in America, the way you describe it it sounds very lovey-dovey and more than just a friendly hug. 5
mercy Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Met up with a male friend after dinner last night. He knows very well that I like him and am very attracted to him, but he's unavailable and I respect that. Anyway, we chatted for a bit but then he had to go back to work. He hugged me three times lol. And by hug I mean tight, full body hugs, my chest (boobs) pressed against his. I couldn't help myself and wrapped my arms around his back. Was this totally inappropriate on both our parts? c'mon you know where this is going..... And yes you can help yourself. Help yourself avoid going down this path. You care about yourself, right? 5
Author CarbonCopy Posted July 23, 2017 Author Posted July 23, 2017 If he's taken and happily so, not too appropriate. Hugging is more a thing in America, the way you describe it it sounds very lovey-dovey and more than just a friendly hug. We are American, yes. I guess we can't hug anymore!
Shanex Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 We are American, yes. I guess we can't hug anymore! Of course you can, but reading your post there's more than a friendly hug there innit? Likewise the nice girl some times back who would kiss me very close to my lips in a pub, thanking me because I gave her a smoke. I assume she wasn't taken and neither was I, but the ambiguity was there. That's all I am saying. 2
carhill Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 OP if you operate under the presumption that every straight man is up for having sex with you, interpreting hugs gets easier Everything else is just layers. 2
Author CarbonCopy Posted July 23, 2017 Author Posted July 23, 2017 c'mon you know where this is going..... And yes you can help yourself. Help yourself avoid going down this path. You care about yourself, right? What? We were on a public street. There were people around us. I'm not trying to have an affair (been there done that, never again) with him. He's always been very prim and proper when we've seen each other before.
Author CarbonCopy Posted July 23, 2017 Author Posted July 23, 2017 OP if you operate under the presumption that every straight man is up for having sex with you, interpreting hugs gets easier Everything else is just layers. What lol. I'm confused.
mercy Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 What? We were on a public street. There were people around us. I'm not trying to have an affair (been there done that, never again) with him. He's always been very prim and proper when we've seen each other before. You made it sound very sensual. And now he's not so prim and proper. 3
Author CarbonCopy Posted July 23, 2017 Author Posted July 23, 2017 You made it sound very sensual. And now he's not so prim and proper. Well that's why I'm confused. When we've seen each other before we've always greeted one another with a kiss on the cheek. This time he initiated 3 hugs and like I said, they were nice tight hugs and I wrapped myself around him, which I probably shouldn't have done. I don't really see him often but I think as long as we don't put ourselves in precarious situations it should be ok. I don't want to lose his friendship over something silly. 1
mercy Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 I don't want to lose his friendship over something silly. It isn't just something silly. You two have each stepped over a boundary. And so it begins. Remember in your first post you said, you couldn't help yourself. When my h hugs me like that, it's foreplay. 4
stillafool Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Does a hug mean anything? C'mon you're a grown woman, was in an affair so I think you know perfectly well what it means when another married man presses his body against yours and you return the favor 3 times. Do you really need LS to explain this to you? 8
mercy Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 .....presses his body against yours and you return the favor 3 times. Someone turn the air on, it's getting hot in here....
thefooloftheyear Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Practically all my female clients hug me..Some even kiss me(cheek:p)...I think some of them brawds just want to cop a feel.... TFY
mikeylo Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 They teach the right kind of hug beteeen boys and girls in Grade school.
Author CarbonCopy Posted July 23, 2017 Author Posted July 23, 2017 Does a hug mean anything? C'mon you're a grown woman, was in an affair so I think you know perfectly well what it means when another married man presses his body against yours and you return the favor 3 times. Do you really need LS to explain this to you? OK. You're right. I guess we definitely both overstepped boundaries then.
Author CarbonCopy Posted July 23, 2017 Author Posted July 23, 2017 It isn't just something silly. You two have each stepped over a boundary. And so it begins. Remember in your first post you said, you couldn't help yourself. When my h hugs me like that, it's foreplay. Foreplay? Really? I didn't think of it that way lol.
d0nnivain Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Some people are huggers. Since this was in a public place assume it was just friendly but do keep your eyes open
knabe Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I don't think you'd be mulling this over so much unless you were HOPING it meant something. If you respect him, his SO, and yourself, I'd back off. 4
mrs rubble Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I hug all my friends, one of my girlfriends always lifts a leg and wraps it around my waist just for a laugh. If it's out of character for him to dish out hugs, then yeah it's a little odd.
GorillaTheater Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I don't think you'd be mulling this over so much unless you were HOPING it meant something. Exactly. I work with 2 or 3 women who are huggers (one of them, a university Provost, explains it by saying "I'm from Mississippi! It's what we do!"). Never once have I wondered whether those hugs were anything more than a friendly greeting. 1
Author CarbonCopy Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 I don't think you'd be mulling this over so much unless you were HOPING it meant something. If you respect him, his SO, and yourself, I'd back off. Honestly, whether he has feelings for me or not is irrelevant. I've been in that situation before and I will NEVER do it again. I just thought it was odd when he asked to hug me three times. Oh well.
whichwayisup Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Met up with a male friend after dinner last night. He knows very well that I like him and am very attracted to him, but he's unavailable and I respect that. Anyway, we chatted for a bit but then he had to go back to work. He hugged me three times lol. And by hug I mean tight, full body hugs, my chest (boobs) pressed against his. I couldn't help myself and wrapped my arms around his back. Was this totally inappropriate on both our parts? Not a good idea to let yourself get into this situation. He's a friend yet you're interested and have feelings for him. He isn't available to date you. (I take it he's either married or in a relationship already..) the more you see him the more you're going to read into everything he says and does (hence the hug, wondering if it means more than just a friend to friend hug) and being around him will also allow your feelings to grow. My concern is, the more you're around him the more attached you'll become and the lines will be crossed (at least emotionally) and you'll get hurt. I hope for your sake he respects the boundary and doesn't cross the line with you.
whichwayisup Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Honestly, whether he has feelings for me or not is irrelevant. I've been in that situation before and I will NEVER do it again. I just thought it was odd when he asked to hug me three times. Oh well. Are you friendly with his wife as well? Meaning see her on occasion too. If not, and you say you've been in that situation before, why even bother hanging out with him? Even more so since you have some feelings for him. He knows you're interested and is flirting. He may be testing to see how far he can cross the lines, testing YOUR boundaries to see what he can or can't get away with. It really is up to you how this plays out from now on.
whichwayisup Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Well that's why I'm confused. When we've seen each other before we've always greeted one another with a kiss on the cheek. This time he initiated 3 hugs and like I said, they were nice tight hugs and I wrapped myself around him, which I probably shouldn't have done. I don't really see him often but I think as long as we don't put ourselves in precarious situations it should be ok. I don't want to lose his friendship over something silly. How long have you known him? Why is the friendship so important to you? It isn't purely platonic on your end and he knows you "like" him so the hugging you three times (because you let him) and as you said "wrapped yourself around him tightly" he isn't stupid, he read the signals you were giving him (the green light). I have male friends and I don't hug them 3 times, let alone wrap myself tightly around their body. You two are playing with fire. I think you know this otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. If you lose the friendship it'll be because you two end up getting too involved/too emotionally attached or even make out and take it too far.... Does his wife know of your friendship with him?
Recommended Posts