Justme28 Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Long story short my ex and I broke up and I had left him a few different times as he had a drug problem (pills).. and he also sold large quantities of pot behind my back... Not only did he lie to me A LOT. He used me by living with me and NEVER paying a penny for rent electric groceries ect. . He had also stolen money from me (10.00 three diffrent times) and always used the excuse of it being an accident. . . Anyways 3 years on and off every couple of months I cared about him and wanted him to do better and had faith that he could change... Anyways enough became enough 3 months ago and I broke it off with him for good. I know I deserve better but I still love him and I ran into him last week at the store. Wanted to just walk away but had a brief conversation because i knew that he had gotten into a new relationship and lost custody of his son.. which is another reason why I left him. Who doesn't give a crap about their own kid?! Anyways he messaged me last night and told me how he missed me ext (of course he did! He used me and I was SO good to him ) his new rebound didn't work out for him because the new girl he was seeing was also a drugvuser and she cheated on him.... so last night he was complaining to me about how hurt he was from that. WTF... I just don't understand why he would do that to me. Anyway I told him he needs to get himself together on his own and not jump from relationship to relationship to battle his own problems AND THEN find someone.. wished him luck in life and blocked him as it HURT me so bad. Whyyyyy in the world would he do that to me. I've done NOTHING but support and encourage him throughout EVERYTHING. And here he goes again. I know I deserve better. It's just I care about him so much. Why I have no idea he doesn't care for me if he did he wouldn't have done things in the relationship to me like that AND after we broke up.. 3 months no contact he continues those behaviors.. I hate that I care but I just wanted to vent. I haven't found anyone yet as I'm trying SO hard to work on myself and heal from the felationship5.. i have a good job and I'm trying to lose weight to feel better about me. But ugh. I had to vent . It hurts! And why do I still care :{
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 I am sorry you're feeling so down right now, OP. This guy is toxic and a general disaster. For your own well-being, you need to block his number and not allow him any access to you. You can see how even one conversation sent the dominoes falling and now you feel horrible again. I wouldn't even think about finding anyone else yet. You're not ready, which is perfectly okay. You first need to heal and work on your self-esteem so that you never allow someone to use you in this way again. If you don't, you are unfortunately likely to attract similar guys in the future.
Maldives Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Yes I can relate to this im the same as u. The reason u still care is because ur a good person. U also dont have mental issues like ur ex lol. Mine is work wth and she's just a biatch. After breaking it off wth me she starts seeing someone else in the office and rubbed it in my facell. She's also lost custody of her kids but chose to not be wth em long story that alone I think speaks volumes about there character. I like u have taken time out of relationships I've been so burnt from themy and betrayed im now gun shy and just wanna heal and move on and not jump into another relationship. I actually view relationships now as pain. All the issues of being wth someone else there baggage there issues that they put on u. I now equate relationships to pain it's sad becausee all i really want is someone to share my life wth security and love and especially that u can trust em In most of my relationships the other party has cheated. I can never relate to this because I would never do this. I've had a close friend cheat on me wth my ex. The most recent ex just when I thoughthink things couldn't get more challenging the one who lost her kids decides to work wth me in the same Co. She's basically almost destroyed my hopes and dreams but I been hanging in there but it is very difficult working wth her and unfortunately this a great job and career and not easy to walk away from. U would think she would leave and go back interstate to be wth her kids no chance. It was her daughters birthday yestur day and she's here interstate and not wth her daughter. Next week she's on holidays for 2 weeks and I don't think it's to be wth her kids how unfortunate for those poor kids such a selfish person. I often wonder why in this life I've suffered so much particularly wth relationships I don't get it. And this recent ex use to tell me how loyal she was lol how good a person she was after having her own friend cheat on her. Here's her true colours exposed. I just have to beat this and her wth gods help. I pray everyday. I feel like we're similar. We got involved wth people that took advantage of us. We both couldn't believe the way they turned out because we ourselves cld not fathom doing something like this like they have. And yes the ex looks for men to solve her problems and her deep void that she's created In her life. Me and u just need to be strong and not let these bad choices sidetrack our progress. We're both on the right path not jumping into another relationship. As much as I crave one i hope I can spot the red flags better next time and the manipulation of that's present. Most of em have been manipulative. Now I know own wat it means when they get so insecure about u cheating it's because they probably are.
Finlandia Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 You have a kind heart. Which is why you put up with him for so long and why you want to see him do better. It's not a bad trait to have but in the hands of the wrong person, in this case your ex, it can be bad. Enjoy life, go on a girls night out or find a new hobby. Keep your mind occupied in some way. Keep focusing on yourself before jumping into another relationship. Hope it all works out. xx
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