Mindfulmoomin Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 I'd really appreciate your advice on this and I thank you all in advance. I'm in a serious relationship with a man who is a Sailor, he is currently on deployment and is also due to go on another for 6 months in November. I support him 100%, write to him, send him morale boosting stuff, we email, talk lots and he says that he is mine and I am his, he plans on marrying me after deployment. I'm 38 and he is 42. However, He won't stop giving his number out to women he meets online, Twitter, snapchat, Facebook, I even caught him on Plenty of Fish (which he has since deleted). He says it's all innocent and he is just friends with them but I know he confides in them, tells them his problems and talks about me to them (as a few of them have blocked me on social media). He favourites their selfies, some really flirtatious stuff openly, some really sexual comments, private messages them and seems to think this is all perfectly normal. Supporting a man in the military and maintaining a relationship long distance is hard enough without the knowledge that he is doing this. Unfortunately I've found myself when I question him sound like I'm some jealous control freak, he added one woman from Twitter yesterday to his Whatsapp and he was messaging her from his bed, once again says it's perfectly innocent but surely this is overstepping boundaries? He works with loads of female soldiers and I trust him implicitly with them and when he has leave in a foreign town but his online behaviour is freaking me out. This morning he was liking women he doesn't even follow who post selfies of themselves in their bra and writhing about on their beds for all the men on Twitter to compliment them, one woman who posts constantly about her BDSM habits, he literally gives his number out to anyone and I mean it when I say there are loads. Don't get me wrong, we have an active sex life and turn each other on etc as much as we can virtually and we both adore each other but I can't help thinking that he's overstepping the mark. Your thoughts would be so welcome, thank you and have a lovely day
smackie9 Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Wow this is emotional cheating hun. So he gets scoobyed when he returns home....doesn't mean it's a committed relationship. As they say a sailor has someone waiting for him at every port. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 OP, you should not trust this guy. I would've dumped his sneaky, cheating butt to the curb a long time ago. He is at minimum emotionally cheating on you, and I would not hesitate for one hot minute to believe he's done a lot more than that. Come on, you know he's bad news. You treat this as a serious relationship, but he does not.
coolheadal Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 (edited) Until you see him in person you just have an emotional fake life with him. Fake is being very blunt with you but it's the truth. What do you get from all of this? Nothing you can feel or bite. It all words flown at you on your screen to read and hope things could be like the words say to be true. They're not as you can see your not the only one he's chatting with. Your #XX unknown number. You're still strangers he is free to do whatever he wants too. Call you Mrs, call you married, call you his wife and etc. But the blank hits your face hard to know that's made up BS. You so worried what he tells other fake woman he's seeing also like you. Everyone is fake until they can meet for real then they're real people doing real things like real love, real everything. You do not have a real life with him yet. Sounds like you'll never have it either. You settle because your lonely and you need someone like him in your life on your computer/cell to know you exist and your needed for some reason for love. But there is no love here just words on the screen. If you said you met him in person you had sex physically instead of emotionally then you could have a real life with this guy. But he's just another jerk me around type of guy. Liar and cheat, you shouldn't even be talking with him no good for you not even healthy for you to be in a situation like this. Stop and find a real man and stop wasting your days with this guy.. He doesn't care about you really if he did it would be just you and him talking. POF the rest of what he does it none of your business. You can do whatever you want too. Don't you get it, all nonsense. Not real. Until you meet in person. Took me a long time to figure out this myself. I am just like you just telling you you need to wake-up really see the true picture! Edited July 23, 2017 by coolheadal
guest569 Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 This is absolutely overstepping boundaries. I would not stick around. 2
Author Mindfulmoomin Posted July 23, 2017 Author Posted July 23, 2017 Sorry if I didn't explain myself I do know him in real life, not just virtually. I have been seeing him for a year. Until you see him in person you just have an emotional fake life with him. Fake is being very blunt with you but it's the truth. What do you get from all of this? Nothing you can feel or bite. It all words flown at you on your screen to read and hope things could be like the words say to be true. They're not as you can see your not the only one he's chatting with. Your #XX unknown number. You're still strangers he is free to do whatever he wants too. Call you Mrs, call you married, call you his wife and etc. But the blank hits your face hard to know that's made up BS. You so worried what he tells other fake woman he's seeing also like you. Everyone is fake until they can meet for real then they're real people doing real things like real love, real everything. You do not have a real life with him yet. Sounds like you'll never have it either. You settle because your lonely and you need someone like him in your life on your computer/cell to know you exist and your needed for some reason for love. But there is no love here just words on the screen. If you said you met him in person you had sex physically instead of emotionally then you could have a real life with this guy. But he's just another jerk me around type of guy. Liar and cheat, you shouldn't even be talking with him no good for you not even healthy for you to be in a situation like this. Stop and find a real man and stop wasting your days with this guy.. He doesn't care about you really if he did it would be just you and him talking. POF the rest of what he does it none of your business. You can do whatever you want too. Don't you get it, all nonsense. Not real. Until you meet in person. Took me a long time to figure out this myself. I am just like you just telling you you need to wake-up really see the true picture!
SoleMate Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 he says it's perfectly innocent but surely this is overstepping boundaries? It would definitely overstep my boundaries. You have all the info you need. Figure out where your boundaries are and act accordingly. Don't ask or expect a determined leopard to change his spots.
coolheadal Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Sorry if I didn't explain myself I do know him in real life, not just virtually. I have been seeing him for a year. So you know him in both worlds.. But do you really know all about him? You settle for his online behavior which is mostly teasing, flirting, emotional sexual talk or could be lure of X-rated pictures. Do you really know him that well. You my think you do. If it's all okay to you then you just keep on believing everything will happen for the best. He can do whatever he wants and so can you. All you two have right now is up in the air. He's on deployment he can chat with all sorts of women, that you know of but what about those you don't know of. If he was true blue honest man he would just focus on his sweetheart you. What sort of man wouldn't want you only this jerk has more than his fair share of women online. Like he's just not satisfied with you he needs more women for his ego. But again you allow this and sure you can love and over look his needs and wants while on deployment. You can't give him 24/7 of your time, you need a life and sleep as well. These women online fill in the gap, the void of his sexual fantasies.
CariVH Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 Hi *****, Firstly, let me set the record straight for your audience whom you have misled. You have never met the man in question. You came across each other on Twitter 3 months ago and you have complete catfished him. You have lied, manipulated and emotionally abused him in that time. He has begged you numerous times to meet in real life and each time, you either start a fight or find some excuse not to follow through. Fact of the matter is, this is not the first guy you have done this to. Many have come out of the woodwork after you decided to start trolling me a few days ago. You have harassed and caused untold harm to many people because of your actions. Anyone of the female sex who even chats to the men in your sights have been targeted with untold harassment and trolling. You even troll yourself to throw suspicion off of you. Men who do not respond to your advances get accused of being rapists and paedophiles etc. Secondly, your latest target is a very good friend of mine and has been for over 3 years. He is very far from the person you describe. He is a softhearted goofy puppy who just wants to please. You saw that and preyed on him and used those qualities to your advantage. You have caused him immense hurt and damage but pretty soon he will have forgotten who you were as that is my aim right now. Thirdly, should you not cease and desist with your actions immediately (especially slandering him and anyone associated with him), a legal storm will rain down on you and let me advise you now, with all the mounting evidence against you stemming back years, it's not a battle you will or can win. As you can see, I have not hidden my identity because I have nothing to hide. You sought me out and know where to find me should you want to apologise for your actions and assure all the victims involved you will leave them alone. You should also seek help for yourself. Regards.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 This is interesting...or the end of this thread. I am just wondering when my ex will show up. That would be epic and so loving on my part. No, really, it would.
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 Sorry if I didn't explain myself I do know him in real life, not just virtually. I have been seeing him for a year. You think you are serious, committed & exclusive? Does he? It doesn't sound like it. If it was me, I'd put my foot by down & say the behavior has to stop. He can look at pictures because with the internet you can't stop that but he can control who he solicits contact from. He's acting like a single man. If he wants to be one, let him. He's old enough to know how to behave properly. He's not some 18 year old kid away from home for the 1st time.
CariVH Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 That's because he is single and they have never ever met. She is a catfish troll who has wreaked havoc with a number of men on Twitter Her entire post is a lie. Please see my post above. You think you are serious, committed & exclusive? Does he? It doesn't sound like it. If it was me, I'd put my foot by down & say the behavior has to stop. He can look at pictures because with the internet you can't stop that but he can control who he solicits contact from. He's acting like a single man. If he wants to be one, let him. He's old enough to know how to behave properly. He's not some 18 year old kid away from home for the 1st time.
CariVH Posted August 8, 2017 Posted August 8, 2017 She is a serious nutjob. This is interesting...or the end of this thread. I am just wondering when my ex will show up. That would be epic and so loving on my part. No, really, it would.
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