sanne Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 I've been keeping up with NC for about 2-3 weeks so far, and I was doing better until this weekend. I was out with some friends going to clubs and bars, and it just seemed like I couldn't connect with anyone. I must have talked to at least 10-11 girls but none of them were appealing to me at all, only physically attractive. From there it's been a downward spiral, and I sometimes have thoughts I'm not going to find someone I click with that well ever again. I've been missing my ex a whole lot now, and I had to stop myself twice from sending a drunken text message. I guess it's good that I've learned some restraint, but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out. I guess my willpower and motivation is at a low right now, and I'm finding it very difficult to keep this up.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Until you don't feel this way anymore, there is absolutely no reason to contact her. As long as you have this agonizing "missing" feeling, you are 100% susceptible to being reeled right back in to the hell you just barely have gotten yourself out of. 'No contact' is for you to work through your business until you reach a stronger point. When you begin to feel more clear headed, and find that you can connect with other people, and find that you really are indifferent to your ex - then, and only then will contact become something that satisfies a curiosity - and does not crush your heart under the weight of a thousand bricks. Right now you aren't running to her so much as you are running away from this perceived loneliness you are feeling. Right now she seems like the answer to your problems, because she is the only option you are allowing yourself to see. You are still addicted to her. The reason you aren't finding anyone to 'click' with, is because you don't want to find anyone like that. I think what it is you want is to have her back. As long as you feel that way, you will not find anyone to 'click' with. You have to find a way to break this addiction. I can tell you what won't break it and that is to feed it. Exert an iron will power and do not contact this girl in any way, shape or form. If you need to - reread all those older threads of yours and rip those hurts wide open again.
Author sanne Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 I know everything your saying is true, I just had a setback this weekend and it has thrown me off quite a bit. I'm glad I have restrained myself enough to not contact her anymore, I know she is not the answer to my problems. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I am realizing that I do not miss her at all, I just miss that closeness that I had with her. As always, thanks for the advice, I needed that to get me back on track again.
NightsEcho Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 What it is, ninja? Look man it's been awhile since i posted here. I just wanna tell you man, I have been broken up for damn near half a year. I went through the entire process of trying to find a girl I would "click" with. Never happened. I was getting frustrated. I thought I missed my ex more then everything. Then I went to San Diego (I'm from Canada) and met the most amazing girl ever. We had everything in common and had that connection instantly. Dude, my ex was entirely erased from my head. It was an amazing summer fling, nd now I am trying to figure out how we can see each other again, and we talk everynight(yikes phone bill) anyway, dude just live your life the way you want and you will find someone, I promise.
Author sanne Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 yea this whole thing just sucks bigtime. the only reason i was going out was because I thought it would help me get over my ex, but it seems to be doing the opposite to me.
dogood4urself Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Honestly, the only thing that will help you get over your ex is time... It sucks but you just have to wait it out. I am almost over my ex, its been 5 months since our break up, and I took it f***cing hard... She still has the ability to hurt me, which is why I won't go near her with a 10 foot pole... BUT really it does get better though... I missed her for so long, and I though my life was empty with out her, and that I wasn't going to find someone ever again... Not true.... since then I have hooked up with some hot wonderful people, I have learned to embrace my singleness. I have also gained interest in new things, and have spent more quality time with myself. Its fantastic, you too will get here, its just really fresh for you right now, and I can't lie to you, it gets worse before it gets better, but when that day finally comes, its the most refreshing thing in the world.... Just stay strong and don't contact her, take this NC time to reflect and work on your own sh*t, take the best that you can out of this experience, your life will be yours again, and I guarantee you will meet someone again, and you will do it for the right reasons, and not because you are lonely and hurting. Take care of yourself and keep posting and reading, it helps a lot...
Author sanne Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 i suppose the hardest thing about this is coping with the loneliness. there is this girl i am seeing, but it's purely a sexual thing, and I find it not completely satisfying. i just need to learn how to be happy without having that kind of companionship in my life.
Author sanne Posted August 9, 2005 Author Posted August 9, 2005 i screwed up guys. sent her a txt message, but honestly I do feel a lot better now. at the end of our relationship i said some pretty nasty things to her which were inappropriate at the time and never apologized for them. i basically told her in the text i was sorry for saying those things and that i hope she is doing better and that everything in her life is well.
pippen_2k Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 If you get a reply from her that says 'its ok', or 'your forgiven' , dont look too deep into it and please dont reply to her again... accept that she forgives you and move on. I find when Im drunk, im the most vunerable in attempting to contact my ex.. even though I aint done that in months now... Alcohol makes us very emotional at times and is a depressant, so if you feel the urges to call her or msg her, either leave your phone at home and turn it off, or give it to a friend and tell them to mind it for a few days... Anything to stop you contacting her while you been drinking, cause when you sober up you will regret it
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