patooks Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 I've been single for around year and a half now. My ex and I were engaged, lived together and it was a very intense relationship that fizzled after 8 months, but we crammed years of a relationship in that short time. She ended it, and basically I left my job, her and my life in the town she lived in, and returned home to pick up the pieces of my life. I dated straight after, to be frank looking to fill the void of her not in my life ( tinder and a local dating site. All dates failed, and I haven't tried dating in the last 6 to 8 months because of the failures. I think I'm over her, but still have dreams about her from time to time, and she does pop into my head consciously from time to time. I know I'll never see her again, but I still think about key events we were together, and I basically threw in my job etc to be with her. It was an instant attraction, like instant. I've never experienced anything like that before, I loved her very much. I guess I'm asking the experienced people here is, how do I get back in the game. I have my own place, a good job, an awesome 3 year old I have every Sat night, 2 cool dogs, I think I'm a catch and I have my head on my shoulders but I feel like I'm still missing something in my life, like a huge hole is there but I don't know what it is. Any advice. I haven't had luck on Tinder either. Cheers.
coolheadal Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 You have to give it some time before you go out and date someone else. You have 3 year old where you married prior? Can you give some history of your life cycle and why did the prior end? Tinder is not the best way to meet anyone serious.. OKC was good but those are becoming players village of flirts, tease and all else goes for married people who want their cake and their pie (you). You need a break from all dating for a long time. You are still not over the prior woman. You may never be over her. Depends how deeply involved you were sounds like you were. That sucks because your life now without her will be tough.
act00 Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 You're not going to meet Ms. Right right away. Take it one step at a time and don't let the failures get to you. You'll go through a few before you meet the one that you want to take with you into the future. It's harder with children because obviously you're "shopping" for mommy material as well. Just enjoy and understand that as you meet and date, you're also learning what things you want and don't want in a relationship, you get out of the house, have some fun, some affection and intimacy, and eventually the right one will come around. Did your 3-year-old come from a prior marriage? Are you jumping from one long-term relationship to another? Maybe you just need to date casually for a period of time and not look at anything long-term or maybe not at all until you can sort out your feelings for the ex. If you start out casual and hit it off with one of them, then you can move forward from there.
d0nnivain Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Your last relationship all happened too fast -- meeting, moving in, getting engaged, breaking up all in 8 short months. That whirlwind left you with unrealistic expectations about the pace of a relationship. You then admit that you tried rebounding with no success. You probably gave off a bit of a desperate vibe so women probably picked up on that. When you are at peace with yourself you will be able to reconnect with somebody 1
smackie9 Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 ok so it's time to start dating again.....but this time sloooooow doooown! Do go out there with the strong intent of meeting someone to fill the void. Just relax and enjoy meeting new people, maybe making new friends along the way. Keep the "unreal expectations" at bay. 1
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