mortensorchid Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 I was thinking about some of these things recently. This is not just in the dating world, but with a lot of other things in general. Am I the only one who has experienced things like this? It's about risk taking in life. I am surprised at how many cowardly people I have encountered in life, when it seems that we were told by a variety of sources in life to take chances and experience. Since I was a kid, I feel that we have been exposed to a variety of things that have encouraged us to do and think and experience things in life - be it traveling, having a good time, meeting new people, leaving your comfort zone and discovering things about yourself. And I have done that, very much so. I have traveled to exotic lands, met wonderful and exotic people, learned a lot of things, etc. And I encounter and have encountered many people who all out refuse to take chances in life. Some will apply that to finance - I can't afford to take a trip somewhere. Ok, maybe, but what about going to a party on Saturday night with no one you know? That won't cost a thing. They still refuse because they don't know anyone. I've been in this situation many a time in life, I am not afraid to talk to others. Even if they themselves are not receptive to talking, I try to make others feel happy and comfortable because I know what that's like to be uncomfortable. So a majority of people do not take chances, miss out on things, and refuse new opportunities. And they're angry or regretful about it. I have no regrets, I do what I want to do and no one says otherwise about things. If anything people have said they envy how fearless I am. I might be scared to death sometimes but I don't show it, I want to experience things. And part of this cowardice results in people treating others badly - because they are jealous of your being able to take chances or fearlessness. Any thoughts on this as well? 1
Simple Logic Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 You take a risk when you cross a street, but you mitigate by looking both ways and listening before you step off the curb. You avoid not using a cross walk on busy streets, wear light colored clothing at night, and be that chicken crossing the road. The rest of life is like that -ID the risks and mitigate them.
SammySammy Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 This is another example where I believe it's good to have balance. It's like the difference between investing and gambling. I take risks. But they are calculated risks with the odds stacked in my favor. Never jump without a parachute, so to speak. Always have a plan and a backup plan. You have to be aggressive and take risks when investing - particularly real estate investing. However, if you go about it conscientiously you minimize the risk while reaping all of the rewards. That's the goal. Minimizing the risk while reaping the reward of aggressively taking action. We can use that in many areas of our lives. Take risks, but calculated risks. 3
Starswillshine Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Different people have different personalities and different priorities. Judging someone because they don't see the fun in the things you do is pointless. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 (edited) Call me old fashioned and un-enlightened, but as a confident 230+# lb built up guy, it sure is pretty easy to say I can take risks, because almost nothing is really going to happen...I do business in some areas that most people wouldn't be caught dead in without two loaded guns and a bodyguard, but its really not that much of a big deal to me.. I still exercise prudence in many other areas...If I sense something could go wrong, I won't do it...I do take risks with business and finance, but again, the risk is somewhat limited because I usually don't do anything without at least some deliberation and risk assessment.. I like women with an edge and some fire/adventurous spirit, but I also think most average women without UFC level fighting skills need to be extra careful what situations they put themselves in...Women are victimized by the thousands each and every day, and most often it becomes a case where it wound up being a situation where some thought and street smarts has to take precedence...I can't blame most women for being extra careful and not just throw themselves into any situation...The consequences can be disastrous.. TFY Edited July 24, 2017 by thefooloftheyear
CptInsano Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 The fear of the unknown is one of the most basic human fears. It's what makes people avoid transaction costs, buy useless life insurance and useless warranties, even if the risk is calculated. It's very easy to exploit, actually. Going out alone is a risk, but depending on the venue it's nothing to be afraid of, even for a woman, I wholeheartedly agree. Yet people seem to focus on the worst case scenario, and not on the likely one. It's just human nature.
Els Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I don't think I would extrapolate the reason for anyone not doing anything as 'fear'. Yes, fear may be the cause of some decisions, but not necessarily the cause of others. I do travel as much as I can personally (and that is one of the areas in which I actively fight my fear - I HATE flying, with a passion), because I love traveling. I love experiencing new places and cultures and food and broadening my horizons. But I acknowledge that some people just don't LIKE traveling. They're not afraid of it, they just don't enjoy it so they don't see the point in spending their limited money and vacation days in traveling. That is their prerogative IMO. Personally, the reason I don't attend parties much isn't fear, either. I just genuinely have no interest in attending parties. If I absolutely have to, like it's a close friend or family throwing it, or the SO is obligated to attend... then yes I suck it up and attend it. But I never enjoy it. It's possibly one of the worst ways to spend a Saturday evening IMO. I much prefer to go out on a dinner date with the SO, just the two of us, then come home for sex and play games or watch TV together. If I was single, I would prefer to spend it either at home relaxing, or with my close circle of friends. NOT by partying.
tetrahedral Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I was thinking about some of these things recently. This is not just in the dating world, but with a lot of other things in general. Am I the only one who has experienced things like this? It's about risk taking in life. I am surprised at how many cowardly people I have encountered in life, when it seems that we were told by a variety of sources in life to take chances and experience. Since I was a kid, I feel that we have been exposed to a variety of things that have encouraged us to do and think and experience things in life - be it traveling, having a good time, meeting new people, leaving your comfort zone and discovering things about yourself. And I have done that, very much so. I have traveled to exotic lands, met wonderful and exotic people, learned a lot of things, etc. And I encounter and have encountered many people who all out refuse to take chances in life. Some will apply that to finance - I can't afford to take a trip somewhere. Ok, maybe, but what about going to a party on Saturday night with no one you know? That won't cost a thing. They still refuse because they don't know anyone. I've been in this situation many a time in life, I am not afraid to talk to others. Even if they themselves are not receptive to talking, I try to make others feel happy and comfortable because I know what that's like to be uncomfortable. So a majority of people do not take chances, miss out on things, and refuse new opportunities. And they're angry or regretful about it. I have no regrets, I do what I want to do and no one says otherwise about things. If anything people have said they envy how fearless I am. I might be scared to death sometimes but I don't show it, I want to experience things. And part of this cowardice results in people treating others badly - because they are jealous of your being able to take chances or fearlessness. Any thoughts on this as well? This reminds me of some thoughts I've been having. Lately, I've feel keenly aware of how nervous all the people around me are. It's as if there's always some element of danger, that isn't "real", but present due to their primal instincts. Everyone is, deep down, seemingly a nervous wreck. And I've become more aware of it in myself as well. I think the most helpful thing you can do for people is often to quell that fear. And the best way you can do it is by example. Whereas when you are yourself nervous, you're reaffirming their instinct to be cautious and guarded.
JustGettingBy Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Ok, maybe, but what about going to a party on Saturday night with no one you know? That won't cost a thing. They still refuse because they don't know anyone. That sounds more boring than risky. 1
mrs rubble Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 That sounds more boring than risky. I can assure you it was not boring in my experience. I went to party about 10years ago and didn't know a soul. I made loads of new friends that night. One of them even came and lived in my house for about a year sometime later.
cocorico Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 I like to make informed choices. I look at potential risks and potential benefits. If the potential risks cross my invisible line (like - losing a R that matters to me; losing money I can't afford; losing a job I need, etc) or heavily outweigh any potential benefit, I won't take the risk. If the potential benefits are minimal, I may think, what's the point? But as I get older, I find I'm less risk-averse - probably because my kids are independent and I'm not stuck having to be dependable single mom.
Els Posted July 26, 2017 Posted July 26, 2017 I can assure you it was not boring in my experience. I went to party about 10years ago and didn't know a soul. I made loads of new friends that night. One of them even came and lived in my house for about a year sometime later. It's boring to some of us, depending on what we enjoy or don't enjoy. In general, it's best to make friends through methods you personally find interesting, because those friends are more likely to share your interests. I mean, I made friends via video games ("LAN parties") over a decade ago, many of whom I'm still friends or at least still in touch with. One of them is my SO. I still wouldn't insist that everyone should go to LAN parties, or that anyone who doesn't is "afraid" to do so.
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