forumposted Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 (edited) So my ex and I broke up 4 months ago. I was the one who begged and pleaded, etc... and I saw lots of articles online that said the only way to salvage your self respect was to just completely go NC, move on, etc. So I did, and I unfollowed her off everything ( she didn't unfollow me ) and put up pictures of myself having a great time with my friends and one night I uploaded a really revealing photo and she unfollowed me... figured that was us completely done and I felt myself finally moving on My ex and I (both girls) had been in college together only we moved on to do post graduate degrees and I'm going to a seperate college this year with some of her friends who don't like me... but I figured, what the hell, I'll just hold my head up and do my thing. About a week ago, I get HORRIFIC news from a friend of mine that my ex is now suddenly transferring to my new college and going to be in the same building as me every day for the next year... she isn't doing the same course as me, I won't see her in a classroom setting but she'll be THERE (and her friends are in my class so it's highly likely she'll be involved some way or another) Anyway, I get a phonecall from her two nights ago out of the blue and she says she's phoning me "because she doesn't know if I heard but she'll be coming to my college" Just to clarify, she was the one who told me it's best we don't talk and in other words I was to "f off" 4 months ago. She could've easily text me to tell me the news but instead phoned, and she knew that I would've heard through mutual friends at some point or another because we share friends. So I tell her I've heard, it's all good, I try to appear as chill and happy as possible. She tells me she misses me, she's saw that I'm doing well for myself on social media and she got jealous of my "hot" pictures and unfollowed me. She was trying to flirt with me and I was just sitting on the phone in surprise. She accidentally called me babe during a sentence and then was like... let's pretend that didn't happen. She also brings up the relationship, says she was an idiot and apologised for all the things she said to me and said at times she regretted ending it but too many people got involved ( they did) and that was that. She also was super nice during the phone call, saying her life was a mess and she felt lonely and hated the way we ended things. She text me after telling me she was depressed about life at the moment but I had cheered her up a bit. I was determined not to let her know I'm still thinking of her and was like... I'm glad then. Keeping it short and sweet. But now I'm in a dilemma because I have no idea if she still has feelings or if this is all just an attention seeking thing because she knows we'll likely run into each other at college at some point and she doesn't want it to be weird. Did she use the college thing as an excuse to phone me or do you think she genuinely just wanted me to know? All the things she said could just be lies and this is why I'm trying so hard not to get caught up in it, but I'm honestly heartbroken because a) I was doing SO well not contacting her and just moving on b) I was looking forward to my year ahead at college knowing she wouldn't be lurking around and I wouldn't need to see her and now it's all ruined because either way she's going to be back in my life at the same place, and I know we have to be civil for other people's sake, but do you think that phonecall was just messing with me or does it sound like she genuinely regrets the breakup? I have no idea. I just need advice on this situation. :( Edited July 22, 2017 by forumposted
Maldives Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Yes I would say tread carefully. She mentioned her life is crap at the moment would she have contacted u if her life was great say? Be aware or that.
staggerlee71 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 "saying her life was a mess and she felt lonely" This statement is key. This is how she feels at the moment. She is just looking for emotional support at your expense. She dumped you. Stay NC for as long as you can. Take that time to prepare for time at college. How are you going to handle that? I'm sure she has feelings for you. But not to get back together. She will use those to manipulate you if your not careful. SHE WILL BE CLEAR WITH HER INTENTIONS!! Get back to NC
Author forumposted Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 Thank you for your replies. I have no idea about college, I haven't even thought about it and to be honest, I considered even not going which is stupid but honestly getting over her has been the hardest months of my life and knowing I need to see her again or that she's gonna be in the same community for the next year is really hard. And yeah, I know she's always been really emotional. She's the kind of person who wouldn't ever admit to me she still has feelings because she's stubborn. When we first started dating, it took me a whole month to get her to admit she was actually not sexuality straight, even though she'd kissed me. It was crazy. Have to be super careful I'm not getting used here, but it's hard hearing she misses me and just being her old self again, because neither of us are gonna be vulnerable enough to say we want each other back.. and honestly, I don't really because I know she's bad news but it's gonna be much harder letting go now that we're going to see each other, as I'd planned to literally be across the other side of the country in my healing process. It sucks.
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