jerrygordon3 Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 (edited) So- I've dated this girl for 6 months and the last post was about her. So more or less the point is. My most recent gf was kind, supportive, wonderful and we got along great. She was more or less healthy and would make a good wife. But I had to constantly wonder why I wasn't as crazy about her as I was or am still about my ex. ( my most recent gf is more beautiful too). My ex of two years whom I broke up with a year ago still is in my daily dreams, I think about her constantly, I miss her often... but more or less I feel like I'm still in love with her. I wanted her and I to end up together but we had an unhealthy relationship, made mistakes that ruined trust, and ultimately dragged it on for two years. She was also bat **** crazy. Not from me just in general. She had an obvious chemical imbalance. Which brings me to the point. Unless I'm a ****kkkkkked up addicr addicted to pain and bad relationships .... Why am I still seemingly in love or loving my ex... when I've had a more recent relationship that was mainly healthy with a better looking woman.... I'm stumped. And I've been feeling this way for an entire year. It isn't going away. Wtf. I'm on the verge of contacting my ex and telling her how I feel. She wanted to make things work more than I did... but only because I finally had enough of the fighting. So I moved on. But... now I feel like there's something drawing me back to her... even if it's stupidity. Halllllllpppppp Edited July 21, 2017 by jerrygordon3 Just because 1
BaileyB Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Things always look better than they were with a little time and distance. If you want more drama in your life, contact your ex. I will be that it won't take long for you to remember why you ended your relationship...
smackie9 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 That is why this new girl doesn't have a chance...your heart is somewhere else which means you are not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. How would you like it if you were with your ex and found out she was obsessing over her ex? It would be deviating. Let this poor girl go because you are just living a lie....so unfair to her and you are being selfish. As for the ex, don't reach out until you end it with new girl. Once you clear the slate, reach out and meet her in person. Suggest you both get couples counseling to fix whatever was so broken between you and start over. Either that or get proper closure that it is truly over. Then give yourself another year to get over her before committing to someone. IMO 6 months is not long enough to be ready to start a new relationship....basically your GF is a rebound, a crutch to get you through the pain of your loss. Obviously it's not working, so do her a favor and cut her loose.
preraph Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Sometimes the way we were brought up and our parents and even siblings, even sometimes there not so great qualities are things we learn to cope with and then as adults that may seem familiar and comfortable to us on some level even when it is toxic. That may or may not be the case here but it's something to just think about. Ask yourself the question who is the first person that acted like she did or affected me like she did or annoyed me like she did. Sometimes if you can pinpoint it then you can realize it's not necessarily a healthy connection but just something you are skilled at dealing with and that gives you a level of comfort.
LivingWaterPlease Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 jerry, it's possible you're an emotionally healthy guy and just plain liked her personality but couldn't deal with her dysfunctions. Not sure I'd get involved with crazy again just to be with a great personality, though, but that's your decision.
Author jerrygordon3 Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 My parents always fought growing up. Cops coming. Swat. Taking my dad to jail. My mom was verbally and physically abusive. She couldn't handle so much stress I don't think. She's a good mom and was always involved. But I've gotten my ass beat my entire life and talked down to a lot. Now I'm a fitness model, bodybuilder, successful, nurse, traveled the world. I have tons of confidence to two year ex was the one person to ever ..... get me under her thumb. We had a very unhealthy relationship. I poured a lot into it. She was crazy about me. And she was good to me in a lot of ways too. Point is- she the only one I've ever been able to say I wanted to marry. I was 100% about. I ****in miss that girl. My new girl is wonderful and beautiful and patient. She is supportive and low maintenance. But she also has two kids and comes with a lot of baggage which has been intimidating only because I can't really be sure if I love her or not. We broke up once and I was like whatever. Since then... idk I just see her once a week cause she loves and it's cute and fun... but I'm not in love w this newer woman anymore and honestly it's kind of sad.. devastating even. She's wonderful and I don't want to hurt or or much worse, lose her and realize that I totally ****ed up... but. Regardless my ex of two years is on my mind day in and day out and it's dragging be down idk wtf this is happening I've been so focused on my goals and my career and suddenly my heart aches for this girl I used to imagine my life with.
LivingWaterPlease Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Maybe it's time to think of the well being of your girlfriend. Does she know you think about your ex all the time and that you aren't really in love with her? It may be hard for her to go through a break up with you but it seems from how you write about her that may be the best thing for her in the long term. 1
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