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I care about this girl so much..

MiracleGift

By MiracleGift
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MiracleGift Member

MiracleGift

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We have been casual friends for a couple of months now and I have developed such strong feelings for her. She is really sweet with me and she seems like she is a little bit shy, but I'm wondering if she's just being nice to me because we have to interact during work. But it seems like she genuinely feels something for me but I really can't be sure. The thing is, she is 15 years younger than I am, and I don't want her to feel awkward. The biggest problem is that she is going off to college so I literally have a couple of weeks before she is gone and I won't see her for a really long time..

 

I'm having troubles because it's not in my nature to reveal my feelings to anyone. I honestly can't remember the last time I have done so. But I refuse to live regretting not telling her how I really feel about her for the rest of my life, and time is running out. And it's not that I want to tell her that I'm madly head over heels in love with her, I just want her to be a true friend in my life. I have never been much about making friends, I've always just naturally became friends with people all of my life, but with her, I really want to be open and honest with her. I don't want any secrets between us because it feels like she is the best friend I have been waiting for my entire life, and these feelings are not going away, they just keep getting stronger and I need her to know. Please help me tell her? She is 18 years old.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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She's too young for you & you are at vastly different life stages. She is going off to college soon. For now she's being friendly because you work together.

 

 

If you must say something wait until she's about to leave but don't expect a positive reaction & really don't expect to start an LDR. She needs to be free to explore as she grows up.

  • Like 4
Bastile Established Member

Bastile

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but with her, I really want to be open and honest with her.

 

Don't do that! :laugh:

 

Build sexual tension. Then make a move. Aim to sleep with her before she leaves.

 

Then, keep in contact with her afterwards from the position of it being a sexual relationship.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Don't do that! :laugh:

 

Build sexual tension. Then make a move. Aim to sleep with her before she leaves.

 

Then, keep in contact with her afterwards from the position of it being a sexual relationship.

 

 

 

He's 33 & she's 18.

  • Like 6
OatsAndHall Established Member

OatsAndHall

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Dude.. She's a teenager.. What do you think you'll have in common with someone who just graduated high school?

 

Back off on this one or you'll be risking your job. You will absolutely ruin your reputation at work.

  • Like 7
Bastile Established Member

Bastile

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He's 33 & she's 18.

 

I can read.

 

I'm not judging him. I'm telling him my opinion of how best to get what he wants.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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You say you want to be friends for life, but that is a lie. You are romantically interested in her and you're too old for her. I doubt seriously she thinks of you in that way -- and she's about to go off to college and you will be the last thing on her mind. Just leave it alone. It's your workplace and it's inappropriate.

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MiracleGift Member

MiracleGift

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Dude.. She's a teenager.. What do you think you'll have in common with someone who just graduated high school?

 

Back off on this one or you'll be risking your job. You will absolutely ruin your reputation at work.

 

I have a stellar reputation at work but that means nothing to me. I have quit a job for a girl who was a co worker because they treated her like dirt and we are great friends now. So if you have me as a friend, I will go down fighting for you! But she is the only friend I consider a close enough friend to do that for.. Well, until now! You do make valid points altho...

 

She's too young for you & you are at vastly different life stages. She is going off to college soon. For now she's being friendly because you work together.

 

 

If you must say something wait until she's about to leave but don't expect a positive reaction & really don't expect to start an LDR. She needs to be free to explore as she grows up.

 

Great points too but we have had a couple of amazing interactions where she's been so eager to find out things about me, just straight out asked me with no hesitation! And whenever she needs help, I drop everything and run straight to her and she's always so appreciative! And I make her smile every single day I see her! I have done everything to make her feel welcomed because we have so many temp people, the regulars tend to ignore them. But she's an awesome worker, and just an absolutely beautiful person who loves to take care of people. And if everyone else is too blind to actually see that, then I could honestly give a damn if I ever see or speak to any of them ever again! She is the one I care about and if this is the start of a beautiful friendship, then I can find another job, probably a better one!

 

But I won't have to do any of that since I'm not looking for an LDR! I want her to go to school, concentrate on her life and graduating! And if she meets someone in college? As long as I know she's happy, I will also be happy! I just want her to know that I'm out there, supporting her and that she can always count on me if she needs a true friend to stand by her side. I have not truly and personally connected with many people in this life, including my parents! I love them and have never fought with them, but a personal connection like this I have never experienced in my life and I refuse to throw it away just because most of society are judgmental zombies, absolutely out of touch with their surroundings, and they make find my feelings distasteful. These types of people I won't even waste brain power concerning myself with!

 

I'm sorry, I know I'm ranting but I truly cherish and appreciate all of your responses! Please be blunt with me, I need this! Thank you guys, I'm becoming so mentally drained, and I literally had a near death experience in the past 24 hours so I need to gather myself or I'll end up dead! ?

Bastile Established Member

Bastile

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....

 

I'm going to hazard asking a very simple question: do you want to have sex with this woman?

mikeylo Established Member

mikeylo

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First be honest ! You don't have friendly feelings for her. You have romantic feelings. If you tell you want to be friends, she will obviously say that she does consider you as a friend already. End of story.

 

You want more.

 

Your only issue seems to be age. If you can get past that, then your love story can move forward otherwise I guess no need to tell her how great of a friend you can be. Doesn't make sense and anyone can read between the lines here.

 

Of course you want to kiss her mad ! Friends don't have that desire or urge

  • Like 1
coolheadal Established Member

coolheadal

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We have been casual friends for a couple of months now and I have developed such strong feelings for her. She is really sweet with me and she seems like she is a little bit shy, but I'm wondering if she's just being nice to me because we have to interact during work. But it seems like she genuinely feels something for me but I really can't be sure. The thing is, she is 15 years younger than I am, and I don't want her to feel awkward. The biggest problem is that she is going off to college so I literally have a couple of weeks before she is gone and I won't see her for a really long time..

 

I'm having troubles because it's not in my nature to reveal my feelings to anyone. I honestly can't remember the last time I have done so. But I refuse to live regretting not telling her how I really feel about her for the rest of my life, and time is running out. And it's not that I want to tell her that I'm madly head over heels in love with her, I just want her to be a true friend in my life. I have never been much about making friends, I've always just naturally became friends with people all of my life, but with her, I really want to be open and honest with her. I don't want any secrets between us because it feels like she is the best friend I have been waiting for my entire life, and these feelings are not going away, they just keep getting stronger and I need her to know. Please help me tell her? She is 18 years old.

 

If she was 25 you would be okay.. She's still early adult just 18 years old she needs to experience life and love, she's learning and growing. She doesn't need a 15 year older partner now it's too early. Don't chase newbies, then they grow-up to be bitter women. So many of that going around. Women been with men at age 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 some got married some got kids and sorts of crap happen to them. There you go trying to show love to one. STOP THIS.. Not fair to her development of life cycle.

  • Like 2
Brooklyn. Member

Brooklyn.

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Hmmmm I feel she is too young and if you both work at the same place that's most likely why she is being so nice to you because most likely the only thing you have in common, not to sound harsh but I think you should consider getting some friends of your own age as you stated that she is one the best friends you could ever have ? But you still hardly know the girl ?

 

I would back off if she's shy she possibly doesn't want to tell you back off but could be thinking this, I would say leave this as it is and don't make a move as it would make her uncomfortable and concentrate on making friends at work who are more your age.

  • Like 2
OatsAndHall Established Member

OatsAndHall

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Here's another way of looking at it. In this state, you could be looking at jail time if she were one year younger. You could be up on charges right now if you have sent text or messages that could be construed as "soliciting a minor" if you sent them when she was 17.

  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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You are obsessing and when you obsess you see things that are not there. She's young and is probably enjoying the attention and is flattered that it is from an older dude.....doesn't mean it's a romantic connection. Don't read too much into it. You are 33 years old, you should know nothing is ever going to come of this. You should be focusing on meeting someone who is more, how can I put it......appropriate for you.

 

If you are so desperate to let her know, tell her when she is off at college through social media or text. The youngins prefer this method of communication so if it does get awkward they just ignore the text and not respond.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I'll assume you are sincere. You like her; you want to be lifelong friends & you want her to be happy.

 

 

The reality is no matter what you say or do, it's more probable than not that she will go off to school, meet somebody her own age & forget all about you. Even if she remembers you, the new young guy in her life is most likely going to be VERY uncomfortable with your presence in her life. You can label him (& me) a "judgmental zombie" if you like but I would hate to see you hurt because you have unrealistic expectations.

 

 

I will share this with you. When I was barely 17, I had a huge crush on a 30 year old man, who was my coach for an academic team. He shared my romantic interest, took me on a few dates & even kissed me a few times. That relationship was "illegal" by society's standards but my parents & my HS principal knew about it & were OK with it because I was very mature for my age. As I was setting off for college that fall he kissed me "goodbye" and told me to "go off, not think about him & have fun because college was going to be an amazing experience." But he also said that if on graduation day I still had feelings for him, which he predicted I would not, he'd put a ring on my finger. I was crushed. By Thanksgiving of my freshman year, I came to realize he had been right & told him so. I saw the pain in his eyes but he simply let me go. 20 years later I went to work for him. 30 years later we're still friends.

 

 

I'm not upset by the age difference between you & your co-worker as much as the life stage difference.

 

 

I do see you as a hopeless romantic who wears your heart on your sleeve & who certainly doesn't have conventional notions about proper workplace boundaries. For your own sake, be careful. I don't want to see you get your heart ripped out.

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MiracleGift Member

MiracleGift

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Well guys, after I posted that, I had an absolutely life changing epiphany! I read all my madness, your responses and had that eureka moment where I realized that everything I need to be doing, I am doing it and I'm doing it right already.. I just need to continue treating her the way I've been treating her and I will win her heart!

 

I literally have 10 paragraphs written out but I just don't feel comfortable posting it, it's way too personal for right now.. But the jist of it is I realize she is my angel that I have prayed for my entire life and I don't need to do anything extra. We have made a great connection, and I love her as a human being. She is the kindest and sweetest person I have ever met and I am blessed to have her in my life. I don't need to cause work drama, I have her number and can call her whenever I want. She is a beautiful person inside and out, and I will always be a loyal friend. She can count on me for anything, always and forever! All I want to do is take care of her, and appreciate what a blessing she is in my life. She is my dream come true and I'm going to embrace that. I just want to tell her I Love You! But I know I can't do that right now, but one day soon I will.

 

I'll assume you are sincere. You like her; you want to be lifelong friends & you want her to be happy.

 

The reality is no matter what you say or do, it's more probable than not that she will go off to school, meet somebody her own age & forget all about you. Even if she remembers you, the new young guy in her life is most likely going to be VERY uncomfortable with your presence in her life. You can label him (& me) a "judgmental zombie" if you like but I would hate to see you hurt because you have unrealistic expectations.

 

 

I will share this with you. When I was barely 17, I had a huge crush on a 30 year old man, who was my coach for an academic team. He shared my romantic interest, took me on a few dates & even kissed me a few times. That relationship was "illegal" by society's standards but my parents & my HS principal knew about it & were OK with it because I was very mature for my age. As I was setting off for college that fall he kissed me "goodbye" and told me to "go off, not think about him & have fun because college was going to be an amazing experience." But he also said that if on graduation day I still had feelings for him, which he predicted I would not, he'd put a ring on my finger. I was crushed. By Thanksgiving of my freshman year, I came to realize he had been right & told him so. I saw the pain in his eyes but he simply let me go. 20 years later I went to work for him. 30 years later we're still friends.

 

 

I'm not upset by the age difference between you & your co-worker as much as the life stage difference.

 

 

I do see you as a hopeless romantic who wears your heart on your sleeve & who certainly doesn't have conventional notions about proper workplace boundaries. For your own sake, be careful. I don't want to see you get your heart ripped out.

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I literally went through that exact scenario in my head prior to reading it and I'll take those odds! She is focused on her education, she worked hard to be able to go to school and I will not ruin that for her. If she meets someone so be it, but I would marry her in a heartbeat. I believe she is my soulmate so for right now I need to let her live her life, fulfill her dreams and leave the rest in the hands of fate!

Edited by MiracleGift
  • Like 1
mikeylo Established Member

mikeylo

Posted
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Well guys, after I posted that, I had an absolutely life changing epiphany! I read all my madness, your responses and had that eureka moment where I realized that everything I need to be doing, I am doing it and I'm doing it right already.. I just need to continue treating her the way I've been treating her and I will win her heart!

 

I literally have 10 paragraphs written out but I just don't feel comfortable posting it, it's way too personal for right now.. But the jist of it is I realize she is my angel that I have prayed for my entire life and I don't need to do anything extra. We have made a great connection, and I love her as a human being. She is the kindest and sweetest person I have ever met and I am blessed to have her in my life. I don't need to cause work drama, I have her number and can call her whenever I want. She is a beautiful person inside and out, and I will always be a loyal friend. She can count on me for anything, always and forever! All I want to do is take care of her, and appreciate what a blessing she is in my life. She is my dream come true and I'm going to embrace that. I just want to tell her I Love You! But I know I can't do that right now, but one day soon I will.

 

 

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I literally went through that exact scenario in my head prior to reading it and I'll take those odds! She is focused on her education, she worked hard to be able to go to school and I will not ruin that for her. If she meets someone so be it, but I would marry her in a heartbeat. I believe she is my soulmate so for right now I need to let her live her life, fulfill her dreams and leave the rest in the hands of fate!

 

Let us know when you say those three letter words :bunny:

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MiracleGift Member

MiracleGift

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Let us know when you say those three letter words :bunny:

 

I'm planning on around Christmas.. She never ceases to amaze me, she is the sweetest most kindest person I have ever met! I mean, she is soooooo polite and great with people, our personalities are the same! I don't even know if it's romantic the way I love her, I just love her as a person, I'm impressed beyond words and I feel the urge to protect her from all the evil in this world! I won't let anyone hurt her, or I will hurt them! I promise you!

 

Is there a way to private message on here?

mikeylo Established Member

mikeylo

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Do you want to kiss her ? Do you see yourself having sex with her ?

 

You can send private messages here.

Bastile Established Member

Bastile

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Well guys, after I posted that, I had an absolutely life changing epiphany! I read all my madness, your responses and had that eureka moment where I realized that everything I need to be doing, I am doing it and I'm doing it right already.. I just need to continue treating her the way I've been treating her and I will win her heart!

 

Your "life changing epiphany" was to do the exact same thing that you've always done.

 

You won't be winning nothing. I've literally never once increased a woman's interest by splurging my feels. Even with high-interest women, it's a turn-off.

 

Show, don't tell.

 

I literally have 10 paragraphs written out but I just don't feel comfortable posting it, it's way too personal for right now.. But the jist of it is I realize she is my angel that I have prayed for my entire life and I don't need to do anything extra. We have made a great connection, and I love her as a human being. She is the kindest and sweetest person I have ever met and I am blessed to have her in my life. I don't need to cause work drama, I have her number and can call her whenever I want. She is a beautiful person inside and out, and I will always be a loyal friend. She can count on me for anything, always and forever! All I want to do is take care of her, and appreciate what a blessing she is in my life. She is my dream come true and I'm going to embrace that. I just want to tell her I Love You! But I know I can't do that right now, but one day soon I will.

 

You want to break the bed with her, but you don't even have the guts to be honest enough about it. The avoidance and shame of you have regarding your own sexuality is toxic, and will keep you doing this silly monkey-business.

 

At least you aren't going to lose your job over this one. But it's time to get real, mate.

 

 

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I literally went through that exact scenario in my head prior to reading it and I'll take those odds! She is focused on her education, she worked hard to be able to go to school and I will not ruin that for her. If she meets someone so be it, but I would marry her in a heartbeat. I believe she is my soulmate so for right now I need to let her live her life, fulfill her dreams and leave the rest in the hands of fate!

 

It's funny how you keep bumping into your "soulmate" in the workplace, isn't it?

 

Could it be an issue of scarcity, perchance? ;)

 

I rarely say this, but I think you need to start online dating. Use this forum for the great advice on doing that, instead of looking for sympathy on playing such a weak game.

 

That way, you start broadening your horizons at least. Learn more about yourself and others. Stop trying to marry your workmates or whatever.

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Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
  • Like 2
JuneL Established Member

JuneL

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You sound incredibly needy in your posts, which I'm not sure if many women can handle. Perhaps that's why you turned to an 18-year-old girl at the workplace?

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MiracleGift Member

MiracleGift

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The problems here are really very bad.

 

Not sure if I should go into it, because I think he might freak out when confronted... but sod it. I suppose someone needs to tell him.

 

 

 

Your "life changing epiphany" was to do the exact same thing that you've always done.

 

You won't be winning nothing. I've literally never once increased a woman's interest by splurging my feels. Even with high-interest women, it's a turn-off.

 

Show, don't tell.

 

 

 

You want to break the bed with her, but you don't even have the guts to be honest enough about it. The avoidance and shame of you have regarding your own sexuality is toxic, and will keep you doing this silly monkey-business.

 

At least you aren't going to lose your job over this one. But it's time to get real, mate.

 

 

 

 

 

It's funny how you keep bumping into your "soulmate" in the workplace, isn't it?

 

Could it be an issue of scarcity, perchance? ;)

 

I rarely say this, but I think you need to start online dating. Use this forum for the great advice on doing that, instead of looking for sympathy on playing such a weak game.

 

That way, you start broadening your horizons at least. Learn more about yourself and others. Stop trying to marry your workmates or whatever.

 

To hell with online dating! I've been online before even the internet so you dont need to educate me.. You have no idea about my situation, reading your post shows me you're on the opposite side of the spectrum of the way this situation actually is playing out.. I know what I'm doing now and half the time she's the one initiating conversations with me.

 

I may sound like a dork, a lonely loser but I'm the exact opposite. TBH I have no idea why I'm so damn popular at work but by just being myself, basically everyone likes me so if I just treat her like I have been until now, she will appreciate it. Believe me, I never expected to be liked by everyone and I have zero ego, but I guess the universe has different plans than what I see in my head! And to the troll who keeps telling me to raise the sexual tension? Quit wasting your breath, you're so far out in left field it ain't even funny!

 

And reading what you write makes me realize even more that I don't need to do anything in the workplace because people are nosy and it's really none of their goddamn business. They won't understand us at all so I'm keeping our interactions private from now on. We have a connection and you can troll me if you want but this just makes me realize people will not understand so honestly to hell with them! It's our world, our life and the rest of the planet can kiss our asses! You'll all be invited to our a wedding because we will relish rubbing our happiness in everyone's faces! We will be together, it's a foregone conclusion now! ?

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
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This is frightening

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MiracleGift Member

MiracleGift

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Posted (edited)

I don't think you read my follow up correctly because my epiphany is to just be myself not splurge my feelings anymore.. I am being subtle, being an absolute gentleman and every single time I smile and wave to her she does the same exact thing, sometimes she's the first one to do it. I'm friendly with absolutely everyone (hard to believe, I know) so she's probably just being sweet to the guy who is popular for who the fk knows whatever reason??? But I can see she is the kindest, sweetest most generous person I've ever met and that is a fact. An amazing person I would do anything for! She is my miracle!

 

Make of it what ever you will, but the more hate you spew, the more it will just make me realize I met an amazing person in a scummy, jealous, hateful world and she is an angel never effected by the evils of mankind. I'm there to protect her and our amazing friendship, so I appreciate the hate way more than the love!

 

Anyway, that was an edit since I love to re read my posts for some reason...

 

And you won't freak me out, you have NO IDEA!

Edited by MiracleGift
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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It's not about hate, it's just your level of obsession is seriously concerning. You are writing 10 page love notes and talking marriage about a girl who you don't even know likes you in that sense. She could just being polite. We are not trying to be rude. This just takes Nice Guy to a whole new level. Please gain some perspective

  • Like 5
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