elaine567 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 I think you're imagining this. Once, maybe, but twice???? 3
Lillyp32 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 I feel for you! My exh used to do this to me. I had NO idea for the longest time. I found out he was also posting these pictures on tumblr and had over 50k followers. Apparently dirty sleeping wife/gf pictures are some sort of "fetish". I've never in my life felt so violated. I would definitely see if you can get those pictures deleted asap. It's a huge violation of your privacy and taking pictures without your knowledge shows a huge lack of respect for you and your boundaries. 3
phineas Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 snap pics of him while he sleeps. Offer to trade pics on the docs at midnight. 2
Arieswoman Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Lunay, I'm going to come at this from a different angle as I'm involved with healthcare. Please see an optician and get your eyes examined. Yes, you read that right get your eyes examined asap. Seeing flashing lights can be a symptom of a detaching retina. Once you have eliminated that possibility you can look for more dodgy explanations. Good luck. 2
gemmax Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 I wouldn't sit there like a startled little fawn. Firmly confront him. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and degrading to you as a woman. He has a problem and he needs to know he is sick and needs help. Don't think for one min this is a new thing he is doing. He has done it before. If I were you I would do a criminal search, especially if he had lived somewhere else. Never ever take things like this lightly....I would be worried about my baby's safety at this point. 100% agree. These are very bad warning signs and you should not brush this off lightly.
amaysngrace Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Was a tv on in the bedroom? Personally I wouldn't put too much stock into dreams but especially during pregnancy.
phineas Posted July 23, 2017 Posted July 23, 2017 Lunay, I'm going to come at this from a different angle as I'm involved with healthcare. Please see an optician and get your eyes examined. Yes, you read that right get your eyes examined asap. Seeing flashing lights can be a symptom of a detaching retina. Once you have eliminated that possibility you can look for more dodgy explanations. Good luck. I agree. Never has a woman in my bed woken up when i snapped pics of her naked in the middle of the night. 3
Author Lunay Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 Hey all, thanks for the replies. I tried all weekend but there was nothing that happened. No photos, no flashes, nothing like that. As for him being sick and that I should fear for my baby's safety, I think that is a bit much and until I have definitive proof he is actually doing this, I am not going to start way in left field. He is not even that much of a tech savvy guy. He calls up his friend to get him to help with simple laptop stuff. If he is doing this I am sure it's for his own viewing pleasure, but I am still not okay with it either way. It makes me feel like I have no privacy, and how can I trust sleeping beside him if that's what he does? I am now regretting not saying something the last time I thought it happened. Because it was my chance... and maybe it will not happen again. The way he treats me, the things he does for me... It just blows my mind this could happen because he has the utmost respect for me, and doesn't let others disrespect me either. He's very protective... But at the same time I have caught creepy vibes when he looks at me sometimes. He's completely in love with me.
smackie9 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 I agree this needs to have further investigation. I know my suggestion was extreme, but stranger things has happened. A friend of mine, when she was separated from her husband had a roommate that was a long time friend from high school...we all hung out together for years. He set up a video camera in her bedroom and she later found it. It all made sense to me when a year before he was pushy about giving me a ride home because my BF was passed out and I was too impaired to drive. Glad I turned him down. The guy is a total perv. 1
amaysngrace Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Can you answer was the tv on? I had such weird and whacky vivid dreams when I was pregnant that I'm just wondering if this wasn't all just some strange dream with no meaning behind it whatsoever. I'd hate for your dreams to be having such a harsh opinion on your BF and father of your child for no apparent reason.
Author Lunay Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 NO. NOT cool and it will be seen as passive aggressive or him trying to "force" the issue. Can also be seen as a turn off and "disgusting" to some women, which is not great if this is a LTR and regular sex is desired. Once the "connection" is lost, it can be difficult to regain. It would be extremely weird, and I agree "forced" in a way if sex was declined etc. Can you answer was the tv on? I had such weird and whacky vivid dreams when I was pregnant that I'm just wondering if this wasn't all just some strange dream with no meaning behind it whatsoever. I'd hate for your dreams to be having such a harsh opinion on your BF and father of your child for no apparent reason. No, we do not have a TV in our bedroom
smackie9 Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Awww you will figure out something. At least you know to address it when it happens again.
CoolJoe Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 I am now regretting not saying something the last time I thought it happened. Because it was my chance... and maybe it will not happen again. Excuse me if I'm being too blunt here but why can't you simply bring it up the next time you see him? I know it's uncomfortable but shouldn't a loving couple be able to talk about virtually anything? It's just about the tact of bringing it up, I would think. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a guy and I see things differently? But since it's bothering you so much I would think you could try something like this: "Hey, this has been on my mind and I'm been meaning to ask you. I know this is going to sound a bit weird but it's honestly been on my mind and I rather bring it up and know than keep mum about it and have it fester in my mind. The other week/last month (whenever it was) I could have sworn I saw and heard a flash while I was kind of sleeping but kind of not. Again I know this is kind of awkward but I have to ask: did you take a photo of me when I was sleeping?" His reaction would pretty much tell you the truth. It's so left field that not even the best actor could cover it up. Again, easier said than done, I know. But I would rather know than keep wondering about it. 1
elaine567 Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Excuse me if I'm being too blunt here but why can't you simply bring it up the next time you see him? I know it's uncomfortable but shouldn't a loving couple be able to talk about virtually anything? It's just about the tact of bringing it up, I would think. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a guy and I see things differently? But since it's bothering you so much I would think you could try something like this: "Hey, this has been on my mind and I'm been meaning to ask you. I know this is going to sound a bit weird but it's honestly been on my mind and I rather bring it up and know than keep mum about it and have it fester in my mind. The other week/last month (whenever it was) I could have sworn I saw and heard a flash while I was kind of sleeping but kind of not. Again I know this is kind of awkward but I have to ask: did you take a photo of me when I was sleeping?" His reaction would pretty much tell you the truth. It's so left field that not even the best actor could cover it up. Again, easier said than done, I know. But I would rather know than keep wondering about it. OK sounds good on paper, but most with anything to cover up, will lie and lie and lie and gaslight and try to convince her that SHE is going insane and of course he would never take pics, so where does that leave her? Is his reaction one of an honest guy who would never do that or one of a good liar. It can be very difficult to tell, especially when a person so wants to believe in their SO... We get it here all the time, "He told me he was not cheating and I believed him because I loved him but I was just naive and of course he was cheating it was sooo obvious now looking back... Before she confronts she needs evidence, so that she can counter any lies he throws at her with proof. With proof she can walk away secure in the knowledge she did the right thing, without proof she is open to his suggestion that "NO of course not, that would be mad..." Of course alerting him may just mean next time he tries it he gets her drunk first or slips her a "potion", or sets up a hidden video camera... Eyes and ears open and observe. Read this thread 1
Author Lunay Posted July 25, 2017 Author Posted July 25, 2017 Excuse me if I'm being too blunt here but why can't you simply bring it up the next time you see him? I know it's uncomfortable but shouldn't a loving couple be able to talk about virtually anything? It's just about the tact of bringing it up, I would think. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a guy and I see things differently? But since it's bothering you so much I would think you could try something like this: "Hey, this has been on my mind and I'm been meaning to ask you. I know this is going to sound a bit weird but it's honestly been on my mind and I rather bring it up and know than keep mum about it and have it fester in my mind. The other week/last month (whenever it was) I could have sworn I saw and heard a flash while I was kind of sleeping but kind of not. Again I know this is kind of awkward but I have to ask: did you take a photo of me when I was sleeping?" His reaction would pretty much tell you the truth. It's so left field that not even the best actor could cover it up. Again, easier said than done, I know. But I would rather know than keep wondering about it. You are right it is easier said than done. My previous relationship was full of lies and deceit on my partners end and I would feel better with proof, or better yet, catching him doing it. I know what is it like to deal with liars, and I am not by any means saying my SO is a liar, I have yet to ever catch him in a lie, but he *could* lie because it is such an awkward and weird thing for him to do. OK sounds good on paper, but most with anything to cover up, will lie and lie and lie and gaslight and try to convince her that SHE is going insane and of course he would never take pics, so where does that leave her? Is his reaction one of an honest guy who would never do that or one of a good liar. It can be very difficult to tell, especially when a person so wants to believe in their SO... We get it here all the time, "He told me he was not cheating and I believed him because I loved him but I was just naive and of course he was cheating it was sooo obvious now looking back... Before she confronts she needs evidence, so that she can counter any lies he throws at her with proof. With proof she can walk away secure in the knowledge she did the right thing, without proof she is open to his suggestion that "NO of course not, that would be mad..." Of course alerting him may just mean next time he tries it he gets her drunk first or slips her a "potion", or sets up a hidden video camera... Eyes and ears open and observe. Read this thread Exactly... And wow, that thread! If this is really happening I hope I catch him soon so I can kick him out of my bedroom!
CoolJoe Posted July 25, 2017 Posted July 25, 2017 Too extreme to suggest setting up a hidden bedroom camera?
Author Lunay Posted July 28, 2017 Author Posted July 28, 2017 Too extreme to suggest setting up a hidden bedroom camera? At this point, yes I think so lol. Wouldn't that be sort of the same thing? Recording him without his permission? No updates, haven't caught him doing anything.... I am just going to wait patiently. If anything happens I will update the thread.
frigginlost Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 As a guy... I did this exact same thing to my last girlfriend. Took a few pictures of her butt while she was sleeping, because, well, it was a great butt! BUT! You know what I did when she woke up? I told her. And we laughed. She told me to keep them as a reminder. Something is very wrong if he did so and kept it from you. Very, very, wrong. You need to confront him.
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