Lunay Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I don't know if this is where I should post this but I need some advice! I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months. We just moved in together in June and share a bed. A couple of nights ago I could feel him rubbing my leg in my sleep. I don't mind if he wakes me up sometimes for sex, or anything... but I swear I saw a "flash" that came from under the blanket. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not because as soon as I moved and opened my eyes it was dark and he wasn't moving. I think he took a picture of me while my legs were open.... I had underwear on, but still... Then it came back to me that this may be the second time I think this has happened. I had my back turned one night and I thought i felt something like a flash or whatever... It would have been a picture of my butt I would guess considering the way I was turned. I also had my underwear on that night too. I don't know if this even happened. I don't know if I was dreaming or if he is taking pictures of my lower half when I'm asleep. It creeps me out if he is... And if he is, for what reason? I mean... I don't send him sexy photos, ever... I am pregnant... but we have sex regularly and he doesn't really watch porn... I am so confused. I mean I guess I should be glad he wants to look at me and not some other girls?!!! My sister suggested that maybe he was trying to take photos of my pregnant belly, but why not just do that when I'm awake? He treats me like a queen and not like any guy ever has before. He does everything for me and is a great boyfriend... I think that's why I don't understand this. I don't think my pregnancy dreams could be that vivid?!!! I don't want to bring it up if I am wrong. My sister said to check his phone but I don't like to do that... He doesn't check mine and I trust him. Her next solution was to pretend I am asleep and see if he does it again and catch him... so far this is the plan... But if he is doing it, I don't know how to handle it or what to even say.
lurker74 Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Well, that is interesting. But I think you should bring it up. You can say, "Hey... I know this sounds weird, but I've had two dreams of you taking pictures of me while I sleep.... That's a dream, right?" And to be honest, I don't know that it needs to creep you out. Maybe he likes to pleasure himself to pics of you that are candid. If he's showing friends, yeah, creepy, but aside from that, maybe talking about it could get you both to a healthy place on it. 2
gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I think if you feel that this has happened twice you really need to trust your gut. It is pretty outrageous for him to do anything like that whilst you are sleeping and without consent. To me it would mean that he is totally lacking in awareness of boundaries. You probaly should have raised the second time you felt the flash. It's really creepy to be honest. 7
kendahke Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I don't know if this is where I should post this but I need some advice! I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months. We just moved in together in June and share a bed. A couple of nights ago I could feel him rubbing my leg in my sleep. I don't mind if he wakes me up sometimes for sex, or anything... but I swear I saw a "flash" that came from under the blanket. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not because as soon as I moved and opened my eyes it was dark and he wasn't moving. I think he took a picture of me while my legs were open.... I had underwear on, but still... Then it came back to me that this may be the second time I think this has happened. I had my back turned one night and I thought i felt something like a flash or whatever... It would have been a picture of my butt I would guess considering the way I was turned. I also had my underwear on that night too. I don't know if this even happened. I don't know if I was dreaming or if he is taking pictures of my lower half when I'm asleep. It creeps me out if he is... And if he is, for what reason? I mean... I don't send him sexy photos, ever... I am pregnant... but we have sex regularly and he doesn't really watch porn... I am so confused. I mean I guess I should be glad he wants to look at me and not some other girls?!!! My sister suggested that maybe he was trying to take photos of my pregnant belly, but why not just do that when I'm awake? He treats me like a queen and not like any guy ever has before. He does everything for me and is a great boyfriend... I think that's why I don't understand this. I don't think my pregnancy dreams could be that vivid?!!! I don't want to bring it up if I am wrong. My sister said to check his phone but I don't like to do that... He doesn't check mine and I trust him. Her next solution was to pretend I am asleep and see if he does it again and catch him... so far this is the plan... But if he is doing it, I don't know how to handle it or what to even say. And you're sure there wasn't a storm or that someone's headlights weren't the flash? Well, he more than likely will lie if you confront him and accuse him and you say you refuse to check his phone, so I guess you're going to have to devise a way to fake sleeping and catch him in the act. You might want to check his internet history if this is nagging you that much. You could bring it up to him as if you read an article on a message board about a woman who found out her boyfriend was taking inappropriate pictures of her while she was sleeping and asking him what he thinks about that. Watch his reaction--unless he's a psychopath, if he is guilty, his facial expression and actions will give his guilt away. You do have a right to your bodily privacy and to have a reasonable expectation that the man you're living with will not violate that. 3
Author Lunay Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 I am sure he wouldn't send my parts to his friends, they are probably for personal use I'd imagine. He is way too jealous of a guy to do that. If he is using them for pleasuring himself later, I still didn't give him permission and I think that is what bothers me the most... And maybe he is afraid to ask me for sexy photos, but I can't wrap my head around taking pictures of someone like that when they're asleep! It's weird!!! And yes, I am sure it wasn't a flash from outside... Our room has black out blinds 1
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 That's just creepy. If you don't want to snoop through his phone, point blank ask if you can see the pictures. If he balks, consider snooping. 4
kendahke Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Run the "I read about this" scenario past him and then use the entre to have a discussion about what boundaries you are comfortable with. See how that works.
SammySammy Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 You should talk to him about it. This is how pictures and videos end on the internet without a person's permission. Once it's on the net, it is nearly impossible to remove. Better safe than sorry. It's a concern and even a guy you trust who you feel wouldn't do that needs talking to. JMHO 2
gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Btw.. the fact that youre also pregnant with his child.. I just really feel for you! I would be really upset about it
OatsAndHall Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 There's been some weird threads pop up on this site but this one damn near takes the cake... As has been pointed out, find a way to approach him about it. However, I don't know what the hell to tell you if you find out he has been taking pics.. Kick him to the couch and lock the bedroom door, I s'pose... 2
preraph Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 And he's probably posting these photos online. Your boyfriend is skeevy. Gross. Doing that without your permission is wrong and you don't need those floating around. All his friends have probably seen you now. Great. 2
spiderowl Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Really difficult for you, you must be shaken by this. It is wrong of him to invade your privacy like that if that is what he is doing. I don't think talking to him about this is going to be helpful. You first need to know if he is actually doing it. I would remain alert and pretend to be asleep a few times and see what happens. If he does take a picture, confront him on the spot while the evidence is there. I agree, it is pretty creepy. You need to know it is really happening before confronting him. If he is doing this, then you need to know why and why he did not ask your permission first. Then I guess you need to see how you feel about his replies. I suppose if it is true, I would wager he has done this kind of thing before, may even be doing it somewhere else. It sounds like a form of voyeurism. I don't envy you trying to sort this out.
BaileyB Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 If he is taking pictures of you while you sleep, it is inexcusable. It is definitely time for a difficult conversation, particularly if you find proof. I'm not sure how I could stay with a man who would do something like this without my knowledge and consent. I'm not sure how I could ever really trust him again.
TheFinalWord Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 I would think you could ask innocently, like were you using your phone the other night? There's a massive scandal with US military posting site after site of female military personnel. I would take it seriously. Nude photo scandal widens as military looks into more websites
Ami1uwant Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 If he is taking pictures of you while you sleep, it is inexcusable. It is definitely time for a difficult conversation, particularly if you find proof. I'm not sure how I could stay with a man who would do something like this without my knowledge and consent. I'm not sure how I could ever really trust him again. Him thing a picture of her sleeping is perfectly fine. I have a feeling this light flash was of something eksr.... 1. Lightning 2. Car headlights 3. He could have used his phone in the dark and ser something on it or used it as a flashlight to find something. 4. Light could have been from him turning on a light then turning it off. Assuming he took a picture of you.... You could ask him to see what pictures he has on his phone or of you. He could have seen something on your skin and took a pic of it to research what it is. Maybe he's taking a pic of his junk.
Art_Critic Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Take his phone and delete those photos. That is where my head is at too.. and also make sure to delete them from his cloud and or google photos as well 2
Sara1989 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Sooo creepy. He knows he could just asked you for pictures and it seems you have a good relationship and you would let him. BUUUT he wants to do this in private, it gives him a thrill to know he is taking pictures of you unaware in an vulnerable position. That is what turning him on. Very concerning and a fetish it could be. Hopefully there is an more innocent explanation for this, maybe looking at his phone sneakily during the night and surfing the net? if I was you I be looking through his phone for the proof. 1
SammySammy Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Pictures can be hidden on phones. Deleting pictures you find won't guarantee there aren't others. Doesn't guarantee pictures haven't been uploaded to another site. I think a heart-to-heart conversation where he comes clean is the best way to protect your privacy in this case. Hope he tells you the truth and you all clean it up from there. 1
BaileyB Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Him thing a picture of her sleeping is perfectly fine. No, actually it's not fine. It's potentially illegal. If he was taking up-skirt photos or photos in a change room without her knowledge and consent, he would be arrested. Which is why, she needs to know exactly what photos are on the phone and delete them if they are inappropriate. 5
smackie9 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 I wouldn't sit there like a startled little fawn. Firmly confront him. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and degrading to you as a woman. He has a problem and he needs to know he is sick and needs help. Don't think for one min this is a new thing he is doing. He has done it before. If I were you I would do a criminal search, especially if he had lived somewhere else. Never ever take things like this lightly....I would be worried about my baby's safety at this point. 5
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Oh, just ask him. If he denies, ask to see his pics. If there's nothing to hide, he'll show them to you. With that said, pregnancy dreams can be vivid. I had great orgasms in my sleep when I was pregnant!
elaine567 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Oh, just ask him. If he denies, ask to see his pics. If there's nothing to hide, he'll show them to you. Yes, but if he is using a digital camera or another phone to take the pics then his phone will be clear but his cloud may or may not be, depending on how he is storing the images/video. I think like cheating, it is better not to confront as he will just deny, deny deny and then cover his tracks better. Better to keep eyes and ears open and get hold of his phone/laptop/tablet/pc and do a thorough search of his pics and the cloud, his email. text and browsing history and call log. Also search the home for flash drives or any other forms of storage that he may be keeping the images on in case you ask to go through his phone. Once you have hard evidence in place then you can confront him or just walk away if what you find is too much for you.~ Maybe this is just one or two images but this may be a far bigger issue than you may ever imagine, so as you have now been alerted it would be pretty naive to just ignore it, as he is a "nice" guy. 3
kendahke Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 (edited) Him thing a picture of her sleeping is perfectly fine.From OP: but I swear I saw a "flash" that came from under the blanket. I think he took a picture of me while my legs were open.... Then it came back to me that this may be the second time I think this has happened. I had my back turned one night and I thought i felt something like a flash or whatever... It would have been a picture of my butt I would guess considering the way I was turned. He wasn't taking pictures of her face. He was taking pictures under the cover, between her legs. 1. Lightning 2. Car headlights From OP: And yes, I am sure it wasn't a flash from outside... Our room has black out blinds He could have seen something on your skin and took a pic of it to research what it is.Instead of asking her? That's a stretch. Let's say that he did--OP hasn't said that he immediately got out of bed and went to get on the computer or that he's come to her asking about abnormalities on her skin and that he told her he took a picture of it because he's interested in finding out what that is--which is what most reasonable people would do instead of engaging in creepy and completely inappropriate behavior of taking pictures of their girlfriend's crotch while she's sleeping and she hasn't given him her permission to do that. It was a bald faced invasion of her privacy. Edited July 22, 2017 by kendahke 4
anduina Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 A couple of nights ago I could feel him rubbing my leg in my sleep. I don't mind if he wakes me up sometimes for sex, or anything... but I swear I saw a "flash" that came from under the blanket. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not because as soon as I moved and opened my eyes it was dark and he wasn't moving. I think he took a picture of me while my legs were open.... I had underwear on, but still... Considering the logistics of moving his head from the middle of the bed while taking a pic to laying still next to you in bed with his head on his pillow, I think you're imagining this. 2
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